2013年10月12日雅思写作小鹏哥原创范文：国家成功的标志

http://s4/mw690/4fc6335dtx6DsKfhZTB93&690

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, while some people think there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others? 经济进步是否作为衡量国家成功的标准? 是否有其它因素? 诸多因素中你认为哪一个比其它更重要? (薛鹏原创完美范文)

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif     写作步骤：

 

1.        词汇替换

2.        主题观点

3.        思路拓展

4.        正文写作

5.        仔细检查

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 雅思写作小鹏哥原创语料库：（禁止任何转载）

 

1.        economic success = financial success = economic achievement = economic triumph 经济的成功；

2.        a nation’s success = a nation’s triumph = a nation’s mightiness = a nation’s prosperity 国家的成功；

3.        other factors = other contributing factors = other standards = other criteria = other elements 其他因素；

4.        in comparison with A B C, D enjoys more merits 有更多优势；

5.        compared with A B C，the priority should be given to D 优先考虑D

 

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 主题观点：经济发展是国家成功的标志，因为经济发展，人们的幸福指数提高，生活有保障，安居乐业；但是，除了经济发展，国家的强大还应该包括教育普及和发展的程度；因为教育的发达可以兴国，人才的培养可以为国家的发展注入新鲜的活力；法制的健全，保障社会的公平和稳定；科技军事力量的发达；保家卫国，抵御外敌。

 

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 点评：文章的第二个提问角度是开放类：没有固定的答案；只要自圆其说。

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif雅思小鹏哥思路拓展：

 

 

子涵月月思路拓展：（VIP学生）

 

国家成功的其他的标准：社会和谐稳定；公民的基本素质很高（教育的发展）；国家的竞争就是人才的竞争；高端的人才可以为国家的强大和发展注入新鲜活力；科技可以兴国；可以依赖高科技提高生产的效率；创造更多的社会财富；犯罪比率较低（法制健全）；环境保护控制得很好；军事国防的强大；体育的发达；

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 小鹏哥思路拓展：

 

判断国家成功强大的标志；经济发展；社会问题；政治民主；法制健全；体育法制；国防强大：

经济发展的利好：人们的生活水平富裕提高；

作家立场；经济；教育；法制；国防；

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif  小鹏哥原创语料库：（推荐背诵）
1. enhance the country's comprehensive national strength in the international arena. 提高国家在国际舞台的综合国力（支持国家发展太空事业，体育）

词汇；a + ren + a = arena 舞台；竞技场；

2. people could live and work in peace and contentment 人们安居乐业：（重点背诵：政府支持医疗教育；老龄化）

词汇：content n内容；

词汇: be content to do sth 很满足做……（4级短语）

词汇：contented = satisfied 心满意足的；

词汇：contented = satisfaction满足；

 

3. triumphant country 成功的国家；

词汇：triumph n胜利；获得胜利

词汇: triumph over v战胜……

词汇：triumphant = successful 成功的；（词汇替换）

拓展：thriving = prospering 繁荣的；（亮点）

 

4. secure citizen’s affluent life and accelerate nation-building v保障国民的幸福的生活以及加速国家的建设

词汇：affluent = well-to-do = well-off = better-off 富裕的

词汇：rich 富裕的；

拓展：impoverished = destitute = straitened = poverty-stricken = needy = poor = badly-off 贫困的；（国际援助）

 

5 a nation could rely on its education to rejuvenate. 教育可以兴国；（国家发展教育——重点）

拓展：rejuvenate v复兴；juvenile delinquency 少年犯罪；

词汇；juvenile crime 少年犯罪；obesity 肥胖；

6. diminish the social unfairness and create a favorable society atmosphere v减少社会的不公正以及创造良好的社会氛围；（写作政府打击犯罪和不良广告）

词汇： diminish = minimize = reduce = decrease v 减少……

 

 

范文赏析：（新东方薛鹏原创范文；禁止转载）

 

首段：背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

 

The noticeable economic prosperity has promoted the sustainable development of numerous nations, enhanced the country's comprehensive national strength in the international arena. An opinion springs up that financial prosperity is the most crucial criteria judging a country’s success, while others argue that there are still different standards to evaluate a nation’s achievement. Personally speaking, economic achievement, advanced education, a series of perfect legal systems and even powerful national defense all have an indispensable role to play in a nation’s development.

 

点评：推荐大家首段直接亮出观点；（少些套话，尤其是正方有理由，反方有理由，我支持正方理由如下）

 

二段：经济发展的利好；（经济发展也是作家观点）

 

Granted, thriving economy is the one of most essential factors to evaluate a nation’s mightiness. Specifically, the advanced economy can create life of high-quality, raise citizens’ happiness index, which greatly conduces to national stability. Imaginably, with the advance of the economy, people could live and work in peace and contentment. Hence，a country that its citizens have high happiness index must be an advanced and triumphant country. America is a good case in point, as an economically-strong country, it has striking  risk-resisting ability, more financial resources to secure citizen’s affluent life and accelerate nation-building.  

 

三段；配合主题句；论证国家成功还有其他标准；

 

Yet, there are still many other criteria that could be proved to be the stimulating factors helping a nation become thriving and powerful. Initially, advanced education can strengthen the power of a country. To put it in details, a nation’s could rely on its education to rejuvenate. Devoting great efforts to the development of education can cultivate more outstanding talents who can provide driving force for country’s development. Further, a civilized and advanced country must have a series of perfect legal systems. Making legal systems just and sound can diminish the social unfairness and create a favorable society atmosphere. Eventually, building national defenses can improve a nation’s power to resist the invasion and interference. It can provide a secure environment for a country to prosper the economy and protect its people.

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif点评词汇：

 

invade v侵略；invasion 侵略（名词）

interfere with 干涉……；

interference n干涉

 

Overall, I re-affirm my view that economic boom, competitive education, sound legal systems and even powerful national defense are all crucial factors to evaluate a nation’s success.  

点评：完美范文；首段个性开篇；切合主题；明确作家立场；清晰论证问题；有细节和例证的展开；尾段再次亮明观点；词汇和句型亮点。

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif复习语料库：

1.        inject new life into the further development of a nation

2.        enhance a nation’s comprehensive strength in the international arena

3.        a nation could rely on its education to rejuvenate

4.        people could work and live in peace and contentment

5.        a series of just and sound legal system