2013年1月13日雅思写作小鹏哥解析以及原创范文

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http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 小鹏哥发言：昨天收到民工（我的一对一雅思学员）的短信很欣慰，他在2012年12月15日的考试中写作取得了6分的成绩，这是我们共同努力的结果。他在听力口语4.5以及阅读5.5的情况下写作得到6分再次证明我的教学是有效果的。更令人欣慰的是12月15日我的大班学员还有人得到了写作7分的好成绩。虽然我的博客少有人问津，但是我还是坚持写作博文。希望我的语料库建设以及范文打造对于烤鸭们是福音。

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2013年1月13日雅思写作题目：（旧题重现）

 

In some countries, the parents expect children to spend long time in studying both in and after school and have less free time. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on children and the society?  父母期待孩子们在课上以及课外学习，自由的时间较少，你认为是有利还是有弊？

 

2009年考试题库题目：

 

Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are pushed to hard work when they are very young. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?  中学生和大学生的压力在增加，他们被迫在年轻的时候努力学习，你认为是有利还是有弊？

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 小鹏哥思路拓展：

 

年轻人全心学习的利好：

 

1）现在竞争激烈，来自父母的鞭策以及压力可以是人们勤奋学习的驱动力，使得学生增加竞争优势，更好地适应社会。

 

2）个人都是有学习的潜质的，父母督促孩子努力学习可以开发一个人的学习潜能。

 

年轻人全心学习的弊端：

 

1）一个人所有的时间和精力都专注于学习，就无法培养多种兴趣爱好，体味更多的生活乐趣。

 

2）不是所有人都喜欢和适合学习，对于有不同梦想的人，强制的学习和过度压力可以使得他们更加逆反和厌倦学习。

 

3）长期的学习没有锻炼以及娱乐的时间，年轻人免疫系统下降，心情不佳。

 

 

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif  雅思写作小鹏哥原创语料库：（长春新东方薛鹏）

 

1.       young people = the youth = youngsters = the young 年轻人 

2.       excessive stress = excessive pressure = excessive strain 过度的压力

3.       be stressful 很有压力

4.       be under a pool of pressure 压力很大

5.       be over-burdened with 为……所累

 

6.       effect = influence = impact n 影响

7.       exercise-stuffed teaching method 填鸭教学的方法（重点背诵）

8.       exam-oriented education 应试教育（重点背诵）

9.       suffer from sleeplessness 失眠

10.     lack of physical exercises 缺乏体育锻炼

 

11.     could be both physically and mentally detrimental 有害身心健康

12.     lose interest and patience in learning 失去学习的兴趣和耐心

13.     strike a proper balance between rest and work 劳逸结合（作家观点）

14.     burn the mid-might oil 开夜车

15.     leave much to be desired 远非令人满意

 

16.    stand out from the rest 出类拔萃

17.    enhance one’s competitiveness in the future job-seeking 增加未来择业的优势（重点背诵）

18.    those who are poor at self-control 没有自律性的孩子

19.    foster effective study habit 养成了自觉学习的习惯

20.    one’s unlimited learning potential could be fully tapped 开发了学习的潜能

 

http://www/uc/myshow/blog/misc/gif/E___6724EN00SIGG.gif 小鹏哥原创范文：

 

首段：背景介绍+争议焦点+作家立场

 

Alarmingly, it is not rare to see that numerous parents place too much expectation on their children, therefore, they usually force their children to spend excessive amounts of time in academic study both in and after school. People have been pondering for years the pros and cons of obliging children to study diligently without reaching any definite consensus.  To voice my opinion, the demerits of excessive study load prevail over its possible merits.

 

翻译：令人担忧的是，现在很多父母对于孩子们给予厚望，因此，他们通常迫使孩子们花大量的时间不仅仅是课上也是课外努力学习。人们一直在思考迫使孩子努力努力的利弊没有达成一致的观点，我认为，过度的学习负荷其实是弊大于利。

 

解析：compel sb to do sth = force sb to do sth = oblige sb to do sth 迫使某人做……

 

二段：利好的展开：

 

Seen from the positive aspects, a number of virtues could be gained via focusing on learning. The most striking merit of fully applying oneself to study is that academic pressure could compel those who are poor at self-control to concentrate on study, which not only trains their self-control but also fosters their efficient study habit.  Another advantage deriving from encouraging students to study hard is that one’s unlimited learning potential could be fully tapped if expectations from parents could force him/her to study hard. As a result, more top students could be fostered under influence of pressure. Imaginably, those top students could enhance their competitiveness in the future job-seeking

 

翻译：从积极的角度看，专注于学习可以获得很多利好。全身心专注于学习的第一个利好在于学习的压力可以使得缺乏自律性的孩子们专注于学习，这不仅仅可以锻炼他们的自律性也可以培养他们高效的学习习惯。另外一个利好在于如果来自父母的期待可以迫使孩子们努力学习，这可以开发一个人的潜能。因此，压力可以培养更多的优等生。可以想象，这些优等生可以提高未来择业的竞争优势。

 

三段：弊端的展开：

 

Notwithstanding all that, problems inevitably ensue.  For a start, plenteous students usually burn the mid-might oil in an attempt to stand out from the rest. It is conceivable that without enough rest and merry mood, excessive study pressure is health-threatening. Further, exercise-stuffed teaching method and exam-oriented educational system leave much to be desired, for excessive workload will dampen one’s study enthusiasm. To make the final point, with too much pressure, students may lack spare time for personal hobby and campus activities. Hence, they will miss out the fun of growth

 

翻译：然而，问题随之而来。第一，很多学生为了出类拔萃经常开夜车，可以想象，没有足够的休息以及愉悦的兴趣，过量的学习压力是威胁健康的。第二，应试教育以及填鸭教学远非令人满意，因为过量的学习负担会使人失去学习的兴趣。最后，过度的学习负担使学生们没有时间发展自己的兴趣爱好以及享受校园生活，因此，他们会错失很多成长的乐趣。

 

尾段：再次亮明观点+ 总结理由：

 

Overall, I reaffirm my conviction that proper academic pressure could be beneficial to one’s study and spiritual growth, however, excessive strain is detrimental, therefore, it is wise to reduce the burden of the students and to help them strike a proper balance between rest and work. 

 

翻译: 我再次重申我的立场，适度的学习有助于学业的成功以及精神成长，过度的压力是有害的，因此明智的选择是帮助学生们缓解压力，让他们劳逸结合。

 

自我评价：立场清晰；论证有理；词汇变化；淡化模版；7分以上；