（按：无心剑于昨日贴出其译作《浣溪沙_晏殊》，拜读后颇有些感想，几次三番在评论栏里留言，均被新浪吞噬，不知原因何在。无奈之下，另起一篇博文，顺便多赘述几句，不可称为译评，以期与各位译侠交流切磋。）

浣溪沙 - 晏殊

一曲新词酒一杯，
去年天气旧亭台。
夕阳西下几时回？

无可奈何花落去，
似曾相识燕归来。
小园香径独徘徊。

To the Tune of Silk-Washing Stream
By Yan Shu
Tr Rhapsodia_晚枫

A song of new lyrics, a cup of wine,
'Tis last year's season, bower of th' pristine.
The sun hath set, when again will it shine?

Forlorn, I sigh away the flowers pine,
Th' returned swallows I  somewhat could retrace.
Alone on th' petalled garden path I pace.

(revised May 2011)

译文注释：
1. 浣溪沙的韵式为AAA XAA，X表示非韵脚字。英文押韵一韵到底的情况很少，因此译文韵式为AAA, ABB；（感谢铁冰君有关韵式的指正！）
2. 译文采用五音步抑扬格形式；
3. “天气”鄙认为是指代“时节”，而不是单纯的气象意义上的气候;
4. “几时回”的主语是“阳”；
5. “无可奈何花落去，似曾相识燕归来。”一去一来，是一年的时间流逝，对仗得及其巧妙，试以“away”和“return”表现之;
6. hath = has
7. th’ = the

引自“中学语文教学资源网”：

译文：
    听一曲以新词谱成的歌，饮一杯酒。去年这时节的天气、旧亭台依然存在。但眼前的夕阳西下了，不知何时会再回来。
　　无可奈何之中，春花正在凋落。而去年似曾见过的燕子，如今又飞回到旧巢来了。（自己不禁）在小花园中落花遍地的小径上惆怅地徘徊起来。

引自“中国传统文化信息网”：

【作者】
　991－1055，字同叔，临川（今属江西）人。七岁能文，十四岁以神童召试，赐同进士出身。宋仁宗时官至同平章事兼枢密使，范仲淹、韩琦、欧阳修等名臣皆出其门下。卒谥元献。他一生富贵优游，所作多吟成于舞榭歌台、花前月下，而笔调闲婉，理致深蕴，音律谐适，词语雅丽，为当时词坛耆宿。有《珠玉词》。

【注释】
　①此调原为唐教坊曲，因西施浣纱于若耶溪，故又名《浣溪纱》或《浣纱溪》。有平韵、仄韵两体，均为双调四十二字。　②“去年”句：语本唐人邓谷《和知己秋日伤怀》诗“流水歌声共不回，去年天气旧池台”。　③香径：花园里的小路。

【品评】
　　　这是晏殊词中最为脍灸人口的篇章。词的上片通过对眼前景物的咏叹，将怀旧之感、伤今之情与惜时之意交织、融合在一起。“一曲新词酒一杯”，所展示的是“对酒当歌”的情景，似乎主人公十分醉心于宴饮涵咏之乐。的确，作为安享尊荣而又崇文尚雅的“太平宰相”，以歌侑酒，是作者习于问津、也乐于问津的娱情遣兴方式之一。然而在作者的记忆中，最难忘怀的却是去年的那次歌宴。“去年天气”句，点出眼前的阳春烟景既与去年无异，而作者置身的亭台也恰好是昔日饮酒听歌的场所。故地重临，怀旧自不可免。此句中正包蕴着一种景物依旧而人事全非的怀旧之感。在这种怀旧之感中又糅合着深婉的伤今之情。这样，作者纵然襟怀冲澹，又怎能没有些微的伤感呢？“夕阳西下”句，不仅是惋惜时光的匆匆流逝，同时也是慨叹昔日与伊人同乐的情景已一去不返。细味“几时回”三字，所折射出的似乎是一种企盼其返、却又情知难返的纡细心态。下片仍以融情于景的笔法申发前意。“无可奈何”二句，属对工切，声韵和谐，寓意深婉，一向称为名对。唯其如此，作者既用于此词，又用于《示张寺丞王校勘》一诗。上句对春光的流逝示惋惜之情，下句对巢燕的归来兴怀旧之感。人间生死，同花开花落一样，不由自主，所以说“无何奈何”。旧地重游，前尘影事，若幻若真，所以说“似曾相识”。渗透在句中的是一种混杂着眷恋和怅惆，既似冲澹又似深婉的人生怅触。因此，此词不但以词境胜，还兼以理致胜。后来苏轼的词，就大畅此风了。

许渊冲译文：

A song filled with new words, a cup filled with old wine,
The bower is last year’s, the weather is as fine.
Will last year reappear as the sun on decline?

Deeply I sigh for the fallen flowers in vain;
Vaguely I seem to know the swallows come again.
In fragrant garden path alone I still remain.

晚枫胡批：
许先生的翻译历来都让我受益匪浅，这篇译作行文流畅，朗朗上口，采取了六音步抑扬格的形式，充分反映了形式上的统一，实可谓形似、声似。但在意义表现上，我仍不能完全苟同。

A song filled with new words, a cup filled with old wine,
“新词”对仗“旧酒”，乍看很和谐，但细想起来，这酒一定是“陈年老酒”吗？陈年老酒是上品，一般只有至交好友相聚，才肯拿来畅饮。而如今人去多时，独饮闷酒，还会喝那时一起痛饮过的老酒吗？而这“旧”字并未在原文出现，大可不必为对仗而对仗。

The bower is last year’s, the weather is as fine.
有关weather的看法见前译文注释第3条。is as fine 是一个很漂亮的用法，我非常喜欢，一个as就把“像以前一样”表达出来了，言简意赅！

Will last year reappear as the sun on decline?
这句问题在于把“几时回”的主语误认为是前面所说的“去年”，我认为不妥。请参考译文注释第四条。而 on decline这个词组妙极！

Deeply I sigh for the fallen flowers in vain;
“花落去”极具动感，而这里变为落去的花，失去了鲜活。 sigh in vain 空悲切！绝妙！

Vaguely I seem to know the swallows come again.
不喜欢 vaguely 和 seem一起用，有冗赘的感觉，意义重复了。感觉似乎许先生要和前一句的deeply对仗上，所以。。。另外，句意上有些模糊，这句好像是说，我好像模糊地知道燕子又来了。而实际上，这句的语感是，那些回来的燕子，我好像认识，隐喻地说，故人啊，燕子都归了，你怎么还不归呢？如果是“我好像模糊地知道燕子又来了”，就等于说，我好像知道故人回来了，这可是大相径庭了！

In fragrant garden path alone I still remain.
这句有歧义了，这是说我独自停留、逗留在小径上，remain这个词与“徘徊”相去甚远，丝毫没有表现出那种怅然的意境。

无心剑译文：http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5f6061f50100m9bc.html

A new song's composed after a cup of wine;
Last year in the same pavilion we felt so fine.
When'll you return like the sun on the decline?

The flowers flutter down in helpless sorrow;
Again come back the swallows I seem to know.
On scented garden paths I alone walk to and fro.

晚枫胡批：

先来看看这样的拆解：

一曲新词  酒一杯， 
去年天气 旧亭台。 
夕阳西下 几时回？ 
无可奈何 花落去， 
似曾相识 燕归来。 
小园香径 独徘徊。 
这六句拆解开，可以看出句式结构和韵脚多么整齐划一！如果从形式上不能反映出同样的性质，译文恐怕会失掉很多东西，这一点可谓形似。而形于诗歌却很重要，因为有其形，才能表文字以外之意。也正因为有其形，才有其音，同样，音也是诗歌不能缺少的元素，是表现内容的另一个形式。

剑兄的译文，虽然从意义、基本形式和押韵上都几乎做到了再现原文，但细读起来，会发现节奏上有磕磕绊绊之感，究其原因，是不很整齐的音步的缘故。

A NEW / song's com /POSED af / ter a CUP /of WINE;

我斗胆做了这一行的scansion，这一行11个音节，第一个音步是抑扬格（iamb），第二个音步是抑抑格（pyrrhic），第三个音步 （posed of）是扬抑格（trochee），第四个 （ter a cup) 是抑抑扬格anapest，最后一个音步是iamb。虽然五音步抑扬格的诗歌也允许出现11音节，但五个音步至少有三个必须是抑扬格。因此，这一行读起来，就缺少了抑扬顿挫的节奏感。

我在尽量保持原诗的基础上，做了一些修改，使之成为比较完善的iambic pentameter poem, 还望剑兄批评指正，商榷为盼：

A NEW / song's com / posed AFT/ a CUP / of WINE;
Last YEAR / in th’ SAME / paVI/ lion ‘twas / fair an’ FINE.
When'll YOU / reTURN / like the / SUN in / deCLINE?

the FLOW /ers FLUT /ter DOWN/ in HELP / less WOE;
aGAIN / come BACK / the SWAL / lows I / seem t’KNOW.
aLONE / I PACE / the SCENT’D / path TO/ and FRO.

Notes:
1. th’ = the
2. an’ = and
3. t’know = to know
4. scent’d = scented
5. Upper case letters indicate stressed syllables, while lower case letters unstressed.

除去scansion 容易读些：

A new song's composed aft a cup of wine;
Last year in th’ same pavilion ‘twas fair an’ fine.
When'll you return like the sun in decline?

The flowers flutter down in helpless woe;
Again come back the swallows I seem t’know.
Alone I pace the scent’d path to and fro.

另：
composed after a cup of wine 曲子新谱成的？还是新填的词？是喝酒以后才谱曲吗？
we felt so fine. 去年天气好，旧亭台好，还是我们好？
When'll you return like the sun on the decline? “像太阳一样回归，”这下让你给解释白了。on the decline，也可用 in decline 代替，意思一样。
The flowers flutter down in helpless sorrow; 你是说花自己很难过，是花“无可奈何”，还是人“无可奈何”？
walk to and fro. to and fro 用得好！但walk色彩上有些苍白。

另外，剑兄头韵的运用也是亮点之一！

在铁冰博客上又看他和另外一些人的译作，一并贴上来，供大家欣赏：
 

【铁冰译文】              

A tune of "The Sand-Washing Stream"                      
Poem by Yan Shu, Tr. Iceiron                                      

A cup of good wine, a new song to ear,                    
With last year's nice day and pavillions here.             
O slanting sun, when'll you again appear?                 

In helpless regret for the fallen flowers flown, 
I see swallows return, whom as if I've known.  
The sweet garden path sees me linger alone.   

【自娱自乐译文】

A Tune of "Sand of Silk-washing Stream"                    
by Yan Shu                                                   

A cup of wine prompts a new tune to be done,            
As if last year's, the same arbor, weather and fun.        
O, when will you return here like the setting sun?       

Flowers fade and fall, yet for which what could I do?     
O, the swallows back again; I guess I’ve known you.   
I roam alone on garden-paths where blooms love too.  

【海外逸士译文】

Poem in Tune of Wanxisha
by Yan Shu of Song Dnasty

A piece of new poem, a cup of wine;
Weather of last year, pavilions of olden time.
When will the setting sun in west return?

Blossoms fallen, what can I do?
Swallows back again, whom I seem to know.
On scented paths in a small garden I loiter alone.

【黄新渠译文】

To the tune Huan Xi Sha (tune: "Silk-washing Stream")

Drinking a cup of wine,
I enjoy a new tune,
The weather is the same as last year
When I stayed at this old pavilion.
Here the sun sinks in the west again;
When will my past glory return?

Flowers have faded away, do what one may!
Now swallows have come back
As if they were my old friends yesterday.
Along the path thick with scented petals,
I roam alone to bid Spring away.

【Louisa译文】

欣赏海老译作，也欣赏剑兄推荐的两位大师的译作。在海老的版本中，"blossoms fallen, what can I do?" 似乎用词太口语化了，不符合晏殊用词典雅温润的风格。以下是我的拙作，跟大师相比可能过于简洁了。

Tune: Silk-Washing Stream
By YanShu

A tune of new lyric and a cup of wine,
The same garden at last year’s weather as fine.
I wonder when sun will appear as its decline.

The helpless petals pass by.
The acquainted swallows come to fly.
I linger in fragrant path alone, and sigh.

(Tr. Louisa)

此词是晏殊最为脍炙人口的一首,虽含伤春惜时之意，又暗寓怀人之情，但词人个人情感体验到了一切宇宙生命周而复始的普遍意义，伤感、惆怅的情绪和超脱的籍慰，忽隐忽现，无计排遣。
This lyric is YanShu’s most famous one that seemly not only reveals the sentimental feeling for irretrievable passage of spring and time as well as subtle intimate emotion for missing absent one. However his personal emotion is lifted to high level that he can experience the universal significance over circling life. The unresolved emotion of sentiment and sensibility vacillates in poet’s mind, which now and then seems so detached.

许渊冲先生的译文还有另外两个版本，看来他老人家是在不断地修改译稿。前面的版本为2007年4月出版的《宋词三百首》所载，下面的两个版本均来源于网络：http://en.sniy.info/yingyufanyi/52267.html

（许渊冲 译文之二）
Tune: "Sand of Silk-washing Stream"

I compose a new song and drink a cup of wine
In the bower of last year when weather is as fine.
When will you come back now the sun's on the decline?
Deeply I sigh for the fallen flowers in vain;
Vaguely I seem to know the swallows come again.
Loitering on the garden path I alone remain.

（许渊冲 译文之三）
Tune: Silk-washing Stream

A song filled with new words and a cup with old wine
the bower is last year's and the weather as fine.
Will last year reappear as the sun on decline?
Deeply I sigh for the flowers fallen in vain;
Vaguely I seem to know the swallows come again.
In fragrant garden path alone I still remain.