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很多年前的一天,正在上班的我突然收到一位远在南洋的女友电邮来的一篇文章,一位无名氏母亲所写的文章.我不自禁地把这篇文章读了一遍又一篇,直读地自己泪流满面,毫不顾忌办公室里人来人往,身旁同事诧异难辩.我把这份电邮转寄给众多女友,一个小时内收到同样众多的回复.她们说看了很感动,她们说看了流眼泪.她们都是母亲,完全能够读懂同为母亲的这位作者字里行间流露的舔犊之情、爱子之心；完全能够体会只有母亲对孩子才有的撕心裂肺、牵肠挂肚。我当时流着泪想我一定是怀孕了。只有体内一个幼小的生命，才会让我感触到这篇文章中柔柔的爱，浓浓的情，才会让我这样多思善感，冲动流泪。 
 
二周后我迫不及待地去了诊所，医生证实我已怀孕近一个月。 
 
多年后的今天，在这世人欢度母亲节的曰子里，我找出这篇文章将它译成中文。我竭尽所能，逐字推敲，力求忠于原文，词句达意。可是不管怎样努力，我的译文较之原文似乎都少了一种让人觉得软柔柔的感觉，少了一种让人觉得热乎乎想流泪的冲动。也许我们的方块字更适于描绘一个"临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归"的含辛茹苦的母亲形象，更适于承载"谁言寸草心，报得三寸晖"的爱母孝母的情怀，而不是大肆渲泻身为母亲的幸福和爱恋？也许时过境迁，我自己爱子心态不同从前？当初是抱着那小小软软的身躯亲不够，恨不能咬一口，到今天面对一个由儿童成长为少年的孩子，我是母亲，是朋友，更是严师。或者更确切的原因是我中、英双语水平有限，只能译文，不能传情。 
 
但不管是什么理由或原因，我还是把自己的译文张贴于此，谨献给所有已为人母或终有一天将为人母的朋友们, 甚至不准备生育孩子的丁克一族. 在众口一辞感恩颂母的儿女赞歌声中, 也听听一个母亲爱子情切的呼唤吧.
 
在这母亲节即将过去的时刻, 光荣的母亲们,请接受我，一个母亲的祝福和敬意! 

母性使你的人生改变 
 作者： 佚名  译者：梦语 
 

时间在我女伴身边流逝. 我们坐在一起享用午餐,她看似不经意地提起,她和丈夫正在考虑组建家庭. 
 
她真正所指的是,她的生理时钟正在倒计时,她不得不考虑为人之母的大事. 
 
"我们正在进行民意调查",她半开玩笑地说:"你认为我该生孩子吗"? 
 
"孩子将改变你的生活",我小心地说,尽量使语调保持中立. 
 
"知道",她接着说:"星期六不能再睡懒觉,不能说走就走出门去旅行". 
 
但这并非我本意所指.我仔细地打量着女伴,思忖着该告诉她些什么. 
 
我要告诉她那些在产前分娩课上永远也学不到的东西. 我要告诉她由分娩而导致的肉体创伤早晚会愈合,但是,做一个母亲,她的情感创口将永远鲜活裸露,脆弱痛疼. 
 
我要警告她每一次飞机失事,每一次火灾伤亡,都会刺痛她.她不再会无动于衷地读着报道而不反问自己:"如果那样的灾难发生在我孩子身上,情何以堪?" 我要警告她，当她看到无助的母亲抱着垂垂死矣的饥童的照片时,她的心会怎样流血, 还有什么比看着自己的孩子死去更加惨痛? 
 
看着女伴精心修剪的指甲和时尚的套装,我想她应该知道,无论她现在多么优雅,做了母亲,她那保护自己骨肉的本能将和任何母熊护卫自己的幼仔一样原始、强烈. 一声轻微的急唤"妈妈", 将使她分秒不迟疑地丢弃手上捧拿的法式蛋糕或昂贵的水晶器皿. 而当发现那声呼唤只是为了寻找一样遗失的玩具时,她那因失手毁弃蛋糕或水晶的懊恼,倾刻之后终会化成前所未有的喜悦。 
 
我想警告她无论已致力于事业多少年,当上母亲后她的事业之途将遇到阻滞. 即使她成功地将孩子送入托儿所, 但某一天,当她准备开一个重要的工作会议时,她会突然想到孩子身上甜美的气味.她需要用尽自己每一份意志力管束自己,克制住想跑回家去确认孩子毫发无损的冲动. 
 
我要我的女伴知道每天的曰常事务再也不会是无足轻重. 麦当劳里一个五岁男孩要独自进入男厕所的吵闹,可以理解但又同时让人感到为难.处在堆积的托盘和哭闹的孩子之间,她必须权衡培养孩子的独立性、性别意识以及让他独自进厕所可能会遇到不良之徒的危险,到底孰轻孰重. 我要她知道, 无论在办公室里她是如何果决,可是一牵涉到孩子,做为母亲,她总会反复思虑,小心冀冀. 
 
看着我动人的女伴,我要让她确确实实知道, 因怀孕而增添的体重最终会消退,但她对自己的感觉再也不会和从前一样. 目前对她如此重要的个人生活,在有了孩子以后,将不再是头等大事.为了孩子,她会在一瞬间舍弃自己的一切,并在随后的更多年间,不是憧憬自己梦想的实现,而是怀着希望看着孩子去实现他的梦想. 我要她知道那剖腹产的刀痕、闪亮的妊娠纹,最终都将成为母亲光荣的绶带. 
 
我知道她和丈夫的关系也将发生她现在所无法预知的改变.我希望她能明白,当一个男人细心地为婴儿搽粉,或当儿子表现不好时挺身扮演严厉的"红脸"一角时,是多么值得女人敬爱.我想她应该知道她会重新爱上丈夫,为许多现在看来毫不罗曼蒂克的原因。 
 
历史上有那么多竭尽全力阻止战争、反对歧视及酒后驾车的妇女们，我希望我摩登的女伴能够与她们找到心灵的契约。我希望她能明白为什么我对多数事情都能理智客观，可当谈到核武器对孩子们未来的威胁时，我会变地怎样冲动、激烈。 
 
我要向她描绘亲见儿子击中棒球时的兴高采烈，我要为她捕捉一个幼童第一次触摸小狗柔软皮毛时捧腹的欢笑，我要她品尝这一份真实到让人心痛的喜悦。 
 
女伴疑惑的目光让我意识到自己的眼中已噙满泪水。我终于启口对她说："做一个母亲不会让你感到后悔"。越过桌面，我紧紧握住她的手，在心里，为她，为自己，为那些循着这神圣召唤而踏上这一征途的女人们，祈祷。 

妈妈码字女儿涂鸦, 母女同博其乐融融

相关连接：

[海外生活随手记]生儿生女大不同(图）

[怀孕产子连载之一] 大昭寺求神得子 (多图)

[怀孕产子连载之二] 我的美式分娩计划 （图）

[怀孕产子连载之三] 我要出生 (图)

[怀孕产子连载之终结篇]美国接生婆陪产全程（图）

[海外生活随手记]　骄傲的爹妈

附原文:  MOTHERHOOD,IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
 
Time is running out for my friend. We are sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."

What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.
 
"We're taking a survey," she says, half jokingly.
"Do you think I should have a baby?"
 
"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral."I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more
spontaneous vacations..."
 
But that is not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her.
 
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbirth heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.
 
I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of
starving children, she will look at the mothers and wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
 
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think she should know that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will immediately reduce her to the primitive level of a she-bear protecting her cub. That a slightly urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. That the anger she will feel if  that call came over a lost toy will be a joy she has never before experienced.
 

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might successfully arrange for child care, but one day she will be waiting to go into an important business meeting,and she will think about her baby's sweet smell.She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure he is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday routine decisions will no longer be routine. That a visit to McDonald's and a five-year-old boy's understandable desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's room will become a major dilemna. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the rest room.I want her to know that however decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but will never feel the same about herself.That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not so much to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My friend's relationship with her husband will change, I know, but not in the ways she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play "bad guy" with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
 
I wish my modern friend could sense the bond she will feel with other women throughout history who have tried desperately to stop war and prejudice and  drunk driving.I hope she will understand why I think rationally about most issues,but become temporally insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war  to my children's future.
 
I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learn to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real that it hurts.

My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then I reach across the table, and squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer.