“人無遠慮,必有近憂。”你覺得這句話對嗎?若你過着無憂無慮的生活,那恭喜你。不過你想清楚一點,是否真的一丁點憂慮也沒有呢?若你有憂慮,那也恭喜你,因為根據Worry:
Controlling and Using It Wisely的作者Edward
Hallowell所說,這證明你是一個人,因為“製造”憂慮其實需要很高的智慧和複雜的思維:
"To
create worry, humans elongate fear with anticipation and memory,
expand it in imagination and fuel it with emotion. The uniquely
human mental process called worrying depends upon having a brain
that can reason, remember, reflect, feel, and imagine. Only humans
have a brain big enough to do this simultaneously and do it
well."
(“要製造憂慮,人類其實是預估將來在加上經驗的記憶,把恐懼延續,再用想像力加情感來加鹽加醋。這種稱為憂慮的人類獨有思維需要一個懂得推理、記憶、反思、感受和想像的腦袋。只有人類的腦袋夠大,同時去做這多樣東西,而且做得很好。”)
Anticipate惹憂慮
Anticipate是預期,在上文中的意思是the act of predicting (as by
reasoning about the
future),指估算將來可能發生的事。名詞anticipation則解預期的事物。
不是嗎?我們憂慮的,是將來會發生的事。考試不及格會怎樣?跟着就會想像到老師和父母的反應,失望、責備、懲罰,然後又想到不能升班、學業受挫,上不了大學,找不到好的職業,一生就這樣完了。成年人更差,憂慮會病,病了不能上班會掉了職位,那不能支持家計,家人就會受苦,從此萬劫不復。
這無限上綱,以一幕又一幕的恐怖情境來嚇自己的思維方式,一看就知道真的只有人才做得到,你認為這是聰明抑或愚蠢?其實這問題不很公道,因為像呼吸、眨眼,憂慮也可算是人的本能,它可以是計畫、籌謀,改善生活的動力,也可以幫助我們避開危險。毫無憂患意識的人很可能最終陷入困境,所以問題不是應否憂慮,而是控制和善用憂慮。
怎樣控制Worry?
不知你有沒有讀過Why
Worry?的“哲學”。結論是憂慮根本是多餘的,它的邏輯如下:
There are
only two things to worry about, either you are healthy or you are
sick. If you are healthy, then there is nothing to worry about. But
if you are sick there are only two things to worry about, either
you will get well or you will die.
If you
get well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if you die
there are only two things to worry about, either you will go to
heaven(天堂) or to hell(地獄).
If you go
to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about. And if you go to
hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with your
friends(跟朋友握手) that you won't have time to worry! Then, why
worry?!
這當然只是遊戲文章,不過也非無道理。船到橋頭自然直。留心觀察一下,生命中的難題往往到面對時就知道怎樣解決。Why
worry? 但若你仍擔心,可細讀Worry: Controlling and Using It
Wisely,學習怎樣控制憂慮。