Case 1 I’ve Not Considered Marriage Yet

John is an Australian who stays in Chinese for Chinese learning in Beijing, met Li Hua at a dance party. Li Hua, 22, took an instant liking to John the first time they met, as time went on ,they saw more and more of each other. After six months or so, Li Hua suggest that John meet her parents. Since this was the first time John had visited a Chinese family, he became quite nervous the moment he was introduced to Li Hua’s parents, elder sister and sister-in-law. Soon after serving him some Chinese tea and fruit, Li Hua’s mother began questioning John about his background, his family and relatives, as well as his economic status. John did his best to answer all of the questions, sometimes in broken Chinese. A few minutes later, Li Hua’s father turned towards John, and asked a very direct question. He wanted John to tell him when he would marry Li Hua and where he was going to live and work. John, being a bit surprised at the question, replied that he hadn’t thought about marriage. Li Hua’s father got very upset and angry. He stamped his foot and asked John to leave. As John was about to leave, Li Hua’s father warned him against seeing his daughter again. John left, without knowing what he had done to enrage the family.

改编，Unit 6 cross-gender communication 之前的homework

Group Discussion IV：

Benjamin is from England. He is 27 and now studying Chinese in Shanghai. Six month ago he met Jinxing, a beautiful Chinese girl at a dancing ball. Jinxing is 24 years old. They felt in love with each other at their first sight. As time went on, they knew each other better and better. Jinxing suggested that Ben should meet her parents. Ben became nervous because this was the first time for him to visit a Chinese family. Things went smoothly at first. But then after dinner, when Ben was enjoying the Chinese tea, Jinxing’s mother began questioning him about his family, job as well as his economic status.  Ben tried his best to answer all these questions, sometimes even in his broken Chinese. A while later, Jinxing’s father looked at Ben and asked a very direct question. He wanted to know when Ben would marry Jinxing and where he was going to live and work. Ben was surprised at the question, he replied that he hadn’t thought about marriage yet. Jinxing’s father became angry and asked Ben to leave and warned him against seeing Jinxing again. Ben left, without knowing what was going on. 

 

Questions for discusssion

How could you explain to Li Hua’s parents about the relationship between Li Hua and John? How could you explain to John Li Hua’s parents’ behavior?

 

 

Case 2 Can we talk about us?

Anna asks her fiance, Ben, “Can we talk about us?” Immediately Ben tenses up, seeing trouble. He prepares himself for an unpleasant conversations and reluctantly agrees. Anna then thankes Ben for being so supportive during the last few months when she was under enormous pressure at her job. She telle him she feels closer than ever to him. Then she invites Ben to tell her what makes him feel loved and close to her. Althoufh Ben is relieved to learn there is no crisis, he’s also baffled: “If there isn’t a problem, why do women need to talk about the relationship? If it’s working, let it be.”

 

Questions for discusssion

Could you explain why Ben was relucatant to have a talk with his fiancee?

 

 

 

Case 3 Feeling Left-out

After graduating from Beijing International Studies University, Chen Liang pursued an MA program at a university in Boston ,the U.S. Eatly in the same program, he made friends with some of the American students studying in the same program. One day after class, his American friend, Dick, asked Chen to join his in the university cafeteria. On their way they ran into Dick’s girlfriend, Lisa, who was on her way to a lecture. Walking shoulder to shoulder, Dick and Lisa carried on an intimate conversation, as if they hadn’t seen each other for ages. Meanwhile, Chen Liang was walking behind them, not taking part in the conversation. When they were nearing the cafeteria Lisa said she had to leave for the lecture. Dick embraced her and gave her a long and passinate kiss. Seeing this, Chen turned away and walked off toward the cafeteria. When Dick looked up, he saw Chen walking into the cageteria. Dick was puzzled as to why Chen didn’t wait for his, and went to the cafeteria alone.

 

Questions for discusssion

Could you explain to Dick why Chen Liang walked into the cafeteria without waiting for him?

 

Case 4 Shoes for Street Walking

   It is said that in Rome, in front of a shoe store, there was such a sign to attract English-speaking customers: Shoes for street walking. Come in and have a fit. The sign caught the attention of many English-speaking tourists, but not to look at the shoes displayed in the windows, but to read the sign and then break out into laughter. The Italian shop owner did not realize that “a street walker” means a prostitute, while “to have a fit” does not mean to have a try, but to become suddenly and violently angry or upset. No wonder the amusement and laughter!(Deng Yanchang et al.,1989)

 

Question for discussion

Why did the Italian shop owner make such a blunder?

 

Case 5 A Misunderstanding Caused by a Joke

   Roger was the Personnel Executive of a large American multinational firm. In 1996, Roger was working in Brazil to help promote their business. One evening, there was a party, attended by both his employees from the United States and many Brazilian business people. At the party, Roger bumped into Rosalita, a Brazilian woman he had known for some time. Roger generally had a very good impression of Rosalita and always felt at ease with her, so that he felt free to tell jokes and share personal thoughts, and talk about Brazil and Brazilian life without having the jitters of offending Rosalita. During the party, Rosalita said to Roger, “I’d like to introduce you to one of my good friends. She is a very capable woman and is presently thinking of working in a joint venture so she can provide a better living for her large family. She is very much interested in your company.” Hearing that, Roger smiled and replied, “OK, but I just hope I don’t get hustled.” Unfortunately, Roger’s reply made Rosalita quite upset. Very soon she excused herself as politely as she could, and did not speak with Roger for the rest of the evening.

 

Question for discussion

Roger was confused by Rosalita’s behavior. Could you give him an explanation?

 

 

Case 6 Look Out!

   A foreign student in the U.S. was sitting by a window reading a book. She heard someone yelling “Look out!” , so she stuck her head out of the window. Just then a board hurtled down from above, narrowly missing her. She looked up, half in anger and half in fright. There was a man on the roof doing repairs. “Didn’t you hear me call ‘Look out’?” he demanded. “Yes, and that’s what I did,” she replied.

 

Questions for discussion

In this case, what does “look out”mean? Could you give a similar case like this?

 

Case7  Different Attitudes Toward a Fly in a Beer

    If in the dining hall, a fly was seen in a glass of beer, an Englishman would say, “May I have another,please?”; a Frenchman would pour the beer out; a Spanish man would put the money on the table and leave without a word; a Japanese would summon the manager and criticize, “Do you do all your business like this?”; an Arab would give the beer to the waiter and say, “I’ll buy you a drink.”; and the more humorous American would say to the waiter, “Please serve the fly and beer separately. If the customer likes the fly, he could put it into his beer himself.”

 

 

Case 8  Borrow Money and Lend Money

While I was studying in America, I met an American classmate named Jimmy. One day I was eager to buy a book, but I did not have enough money, so I borrowed three dollars from him. Before he lent me the three dollars, Jimmy asked me three times, “Are you sure you will return the money to me?” Four days later, he kept reminding me about the loan until I paid him back the money.

Interestingly enough, weeks later he borrowed $30 from me and said he would pay me back in a week. After one month, there was no sign of the money so I reminded him. To my surprise, he said, “I’m sorry, why didn’t you remind me earlier?” and returned the money instantly.

Americans don’t readily give money to others nor receive others’ readily. If you lent money to an American generously, and said, “Don’t mention it again. You don’t have to pay me back.” , he would be angry and think you were looking down on him, not believing his ability to repay the money.

 

Case 9  Twelve Cups of Tea

When I first went to Hong Kong, I had no idea about Chinese tea-drinking and found myself caught in a very awkward situation. I visited a Chinese family and was immediately given a cup of tea. I was not thirsty and I did not particularly like that type of tea, but out of politeness I finished the cup. But the more I drank, the more I was given. I kept insisting that I did not want any more, but the host took no notice. I drank about twelve cups of tea that afternoon! The host must have thought that I was very greedy, but I did not know how to avoid getting more tea poured. (Helen Oatey, 1988)

Case 10 

• An Australian friend and I traveled to Zhangjiajie with our respectable guide Xiaotian Li  in very hot weather. Sightseeing is a thirsty business. We did not trust the water, and enjoyed excellent beer. We politely offered some to Xiaotian  but he refused. We said nothing and drank our beer, while poor Xiaotian watched. On another day, Xiaotian quickly accepted our offer of beer. 

Questions for discussion

How do most Chinese people responde to a first offer? what about you,or your parents?

 

Do different generation behave differently?