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Some Meanings of Authentic Love（真爱的含义）
(2007-03-14 15:33:35)现在倒是希望你没有能看我写的话。
英语课堂上我学到了很多东西，意识到我们自己的不成熟。
| Some Meanings of Authentic Love（真爱的含义） |
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| Love means that I know the person I
love.I'm aware of the many sides of the ot her person-not just the beautiful side but also the limitations,inconsistencie s and flaws.I have an awareness of the other's feelings and thoughts,and I exp erience something of the core of that person.I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeper level. 能力上的不足、反复无常和性格上的缺陷。我了解对方的感情和想法，我能体验到那个人 身上的某种本质的东西。我能透过对方社交场合的表现和在社会上的角色，看到他更深层 次的品质。 Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love.to the extent th at it is genuine,my caring is not a smothering of the person or a possessive c linging.On the contrary,my caring liberates both of us.If I care about you,I'm concerned about your growth,and I hope you will become all that you can becom e.Consequently,Idon't put up roadblocks to what you do that enhances you as a person,even though it may result in my discomfort at times. 压制或占有性的依附。与此相反，我的关心使我们两个人都不受到束缚。如果我关心你， 我就会关注你的成长，我希望你将来成为一个有所作为的人，因此，对你为了提高自己的 素质所做的事，我决不设置障碍，即使是你做的事情有时会使我不快。 Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love.If I love you,I can see you as a seperate person,with your own values and thoughts and feelin gs,and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an imag e of what I expect you to be for me.I can allow and encourage you to stand alo ne and to be who you are,and I avoid treating you as an object or using you pr imarily to gratify my own needs. 价值观、思想、和感情，我不会坚持让你放弃自己的特点，为了我使你自己变成一个我期 望的那种人。我会允许并鼓励你保持独立，坚持自己的特色，我避免把你当作一件东西对 待或用你来主要满足我自身的需要。 Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love.If I love you,I'm reponsive to most of your major needs as a person.this responsibility does not entail my doing for you what you are capable of doing for your self;nor does it mean that I ren your life for you.It does imply acknowledging that what I a m and what I do afftects you,so that I am directly involved in your happiness and your misery.A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglect the loved on e,and in thes sense I see that love entails an acceptance of some responsibili ty for the impact my way of being has on you. 所反应。这种责任心并不是说我为你做你自己能够做的事，也不意味着我为你来管理你的 生活。它真正意味着承认我的为人和我的所为对你的影响力，这样一来我会直接地分享你 的快乐 Love means growth for both myself and the person I love.If I love you,I am gro wing as a result of my love.You are astimulant for me to become more fully wha t I might become,and my loving enhances your being as well.We each grow as a r esult of caring and being care for;we each share in an enriching experience th at does not detract from our being. 激励我更加充实的动力，我的爱也会令你不断完善提高。我们因爱与被爱而发展完善；我 们彼此分享积累的丰富经验而又不削弱自己的个性。 Love means making a commitment to the person I love.This commitment does not e ntail surrendering our total selves to each other;nor does it imply that the r elationship is necessarily permanent.It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain,uncertainty,struggle,and despair,as well as in ti mes of calm and enjoyment. 这种关系是一成不变的。这这种承诺确实包含着愿意在痛苦时刻、犹豫时刻、斗争时刻、 绝望时刻和平静与快乐时刻，彼此之间相互支持。 Love means trusting the person .If love you,Itrust that you will accept my car ing and my love and that won't deliberately hurt me.I trust the reciprocal nat ure of our love.If we trust each other,we are willing to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our true selves. 也不会故意伤害我。我相信你会发现我可爱，不会抛弃我；我相信我们的爱是相互的，如 果我们互相信任，那么我们就愿意敞开心扉，摘下面具，去掉伪装，显示我们真实的自我 。 Love can tolerate impperfection.In a love relationship there are times of bore dom,times when I may feel like giving up,times of real strain,and times I expe rience an impasse.Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness,I can stan during rough times,however,because I can remember what we had together in the past,and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care eno ugh to face ur problems and work them through.Love is a spirit that changes li fe.Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms.Howerer,I do not view love as being reserved for a perfect world."love is meant for our imperf ect world where things go wrong.Love is meant to be a spirit that works in pai nful situations.Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appear s to reign."In other words,love comes into an imperfect world to make it livab le. 的时候和有经历绝境的时候。真爱不仅仅意味着能共同分享幸福的时刻。在艰难困苦的时 期我也能和你在一起，因为我记得我们过去在一起度过的时刻，如果我们对问题给予足够 的重视，面对问题并能度过困难时期，我能想象我们将来在一起是个什么样子。爱是改变 生活的精神力量。爱是一种创造性的生活方式并能使生活改善。但我并不认为爱是完美世 界独有的。“爱是给予我们这个有问题的不完善的世界的。爱是在痛苦的情况下发挥作用 的精神。爱使看上去无意义的生活变得有意义。”换句话说，爱走进这个不完美的世界使 它适合人们居住。 Love is freeing.Love is freely given,not doled out on demand.At the same time, my love for you is not dependent on whether you fulfill my expectations of you .Authentic love does not imply"I'll love you when you become perfect or when y ou become what I expect you to become."Authentic love is not given with string s attached.there is an unconditional quality about love. 爱并不取决于你是否满足了我对你的期望。真爱并不意味着“当你成为完美的人或当你成 为我所期望的那种人时，我才爱你。”真爱不是带有附加条件的付出。爱是无条件的。 Love is expansivve.If I love you,I encourage you to reach out and develop othe r relationships.Although our love for each other and our commitment to each ot her might bar certani actions on our parts,we are not totally and exclusively wedded to each other.It is a pseudolove that cements one person to another in such a way that he or 间的爱和彼此的承诺不允许我们做某些事情，但是我们并不是完全栓在一起的。把一个人 和另外一个人栓在一起，而不给予他发展的空间，这是虚伪的爱。 The honest evidence of our love is your commitment to encour aging another's f ull development.We are interdependent personalities who need one another's pre sence in order to fulfill our destiny.And yet,we are also separate individuals .We must come to terms with our struggles alone. 方的存在来完成自己的使命。然而我们又是独立的个体。我们必须独自面对自我的奋斗。 Love means having a want for the peron I love without having a need for that p erson in order to be complete.If I am nothing without you,then I'm not free to love you.I love you and you leave,I'll experience a loss and be sad and lonel y,but I'll still be able to survive.If I am overly dependent on you for my mea nning and my survival,then I am not free to challenge our relationship'nor am I free to challenge and confront you.Because of my fear of losing you,I'll set tle for less than I want,and this settling will surely lead to feelings of res entment. 么我就不能自由地爱你。我爱你，你离开了，我会失落、难过和孤独，但我还能生活下去 。如果我的价值和生存过于依赖你，那我就没有自由来审视我们之间的关系；也就没有审 视和反驳你的自由。因为我害怕失去你，我就会降低要求，这样一来就会使我产生不满情 绪。 -- Love means identifying with the person I love.If I love you,I can empathize wi th you and see the world through your eyes.Ican identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me.This closeness does not imply a contin ual"togetherness,"for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a lov ing relationship.Distance can intensify a loving bond,and it can help us redis cover ourselves,so that we are able to meet each other in a new way. 我能理解你是因为我能在你身上看到我自己，在我身上也看到了你。这种亲密无间并不意 味着持续地呆在一起，因为距离和分别在爱的关系中有时是必要的。距离会使爱的关系加 强，有助于我们重视发现自己，这样我们就能以新的方式面对对方。 Love is selfish.I can only love you If am empty,then all I can give you is my emptiness.If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself,then I'm able t o give to you out of my fullness.One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fullu enjoying myself with you. 能爱你。如果我感到自己是完整的，有价值的人，那么我就能让你分享我的充实。对我来 说，给予你爱的最好方式就是和你在一起充分分享我的一切。 -- Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love.In my love for an other,I view her or him as the person she or he can become,whils still accepti ng who and what the person is now.Goethe's observation is relevant here:by tak ing people as they are,we make them worse,but by treating them as if they alre ady were what they ought to be,we help make them better. 那种人，与此同时，我承认他的现状。歌德有一句与此相关的评论：根据人们的现状来对 待他们，我们会使他们变得越来越差，按照他们应达到的目标来对待他们，我们就会帮助 他们变得更好。 individuality.In love this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. ，却又一分为二。 |
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