当我老了

作者：段若兮

 

坐在上升的暮色里，掌管天空、露水、大风和星辰

太阳和月亮是我的两枚印戳

人间如瓷，还是脆弱而美好的模样

 

孤独？

我的孤独在年轻时就已挥霍尽了：

那时我慷慨如帝王，把孤独炼成金块，抛向人间

人间回报我以草木之心

皇冠？随手送给一个过路的孩子，不问他的姓名

来处和归途

 

当我老了，我不需要任何一个男人的爱情

心底只留下温柔的狮子、善良的狼、高贵的鹤

谦逊的泥土和转瞬即逝的露水

我会依次爱上拐杖、轮椅、病床和窗外小片的天空

天空中有王的面孔

温柔地爱着药片、病历、水杯、老花镜和古旧的线装书

我要把爱旧了的人间再深爱一遍

 

当我老了，白发飘垂，皱纹深刻

众生皆老，而诸神爱我

我仍以枯尘之躯，保存洁净的泪水

在每一次抬头仰望时流下来

 

 

When I’m Old

Tr by Guojin Hou

 

In the dusk falling on my forehead

I sit long, a manager of the sky, dews, winds and the galaxy,

letting the sun and the moon go on to be my overprints,

and this mundane world, like china, remain in its style of fine fragility.

 

Solitary? My solitariness I squandered in youth

the way her majesty spent her silver coins,

refining loneliness into gold bullions

to be cast down into the world below

that in return gave me a heart of grass and green

whereby I made a laurel-like thing

for a young male passenger whose name and destination

I did not question.

 

When I’m old I don’t think I need any man’s love

for my heart leaves room for none

but the docile lion, the kind wolf, the noble crane,

the humble soil, the fleeting dews of morn or eve moments

and then I shall one by one fall in love with the crutch,

the wheelchair, the ward-bed, the tiny sky patch out of the window-pane

where I see the face of the queen,

and with the pills, the medical history, the water glass,

the presbyopic spectacles, the archaic books thread-bound–

on my way to love the world, love-worn.

 

When I’m old, grey and white,

wrinkle-ditches deep and wide,

I find all my fellow earthlings aging and despite

of this slow stupidity all gods still love me, they claim, so in me,

this wind-weathered shell of withered clay will still be

preserved the last round of tears, undefiled–

nice timing I need for tear-shedding

because, you know, looking up is uneasy.

 

 

 

 

 

比较：

（Yeats）When You Are Old

By William Butler Yeats

 

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

 

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

 

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

 

当你老了

威廉•巴特勒•叶芝

Tr by Guojin Hou

 

当你老了  鬓白眼花

火边打盹  取来这本书吧

细细读来  追忆往昔的你双眸清澈

饱含蜜意  秋波深不可测

 

多少人曾钟情于你的芳颜

倾倒于你的美丽  真假难辨

但有一人迷于你朝圣者的灵魂

最爱那张千愁百媚的脸

 

炉条正红  弯腰再难直

低鸣也悲  旧爱早飞逝

飞越头顶的崇山峻岭

藏匿于星际  他不再现形