Sentence Variety (2)

姜亚军

4.5 Short or long sentence?

The most common advise for writers is almost all languages perhaps is: Be clear and concise! Yes, we have to be clear and concise when we are wrting in English, but this does not mean our sentences have to be very short sentences to make our writing effective. The truth is both short and long sentences can be effective—good writers use, and have to us, both types. Again, this does not mean a short sentence will work well where a long one works well, or vice versa.

Now, you must be wondering: how long should a sentence be to be a ‘long sentence’? Most language authorities recommend we write sentences which average 15-20 words. Therefore, a sentence which is longer than 20 words is generally believed to be a ‘long sentence’, while one with fewer than 15 words is a ‘short sentence’. As you can probably guess, for beginning learners of English, the most common problem with sentences and writing is sentences that are not long enough. Of course, there’s a time and a place for a short sentence.

4.5.1 Short sentences

Short sentences can be powerful. Examine the following short sentences, and see if they can be effectively replaced by longer ones.

Time is money.

Go out!

You probably agree that each of these sentences owns much of its power to its brevity and that more words would make them less effective. Another use of short sentences is to summarize. The following passage from a student essay shows how powerful a short sentence can be:

After what seemed like an eternity, Amanda left. I promised we would talk again tomorrow. I spent a long sleepless night thinking about the importance of friendship and also thinking about the importance of my responsibility to the Honor Council. What would the other students think of me? How could I face the other members of the Honor Council? How could I look at my teachers, at my family? I finally decided that I had to report Amanda even if it meant losing a friend, even if it meant being seen as a traitor. So I reported her. "I hate you!" Amanda screamed at me. "They're giving me a zero on the exam. I'll fail the course. What college will accept me now? You've ruined my life!" Amanda's words hurt; they hurt deeply. But I had to make a choice. I made what I felt was a good choice. But, good choices can be costly. I lost a friend.

Notice how the two short sentences—‘So I reported’ and ‘I lost a friend’—act as summaries to what has been said previously. Therefore, short sentences, if used with awareness of their effect, can contribute enormously to your work.

4.5.2 Long sentences

Short sentences are clear and effective; however, too many of them in a small space can remind readers of material they read in kindergarten or first grade. Compare the following two paragraphs and see wheather they they make a difference:

(1)

           I love living in the city. I have a wonderful view of the entire city. I have an apartment. I can see the Golden Gate Bridge. I can see many cargo ships pass under the bridge each day.  I like the restaurants in San Francisco. I can find wonderful food from just about every country. I don’t like the traffic in the city.

(2)

            I love living in the city of San Francisco. I have a wonderful view of the entire city from my apartment window. In addition, I can see the Golden Gate Bridge under which many cargo ships pass each day. I also like San Francisco because I can find wonderful restaurants with food from just about every country; however, I don’t like the traffic in the city.

As you might have noticed, the second paragrapg is more effective. An important difference between the two verions is that the sentences in the second paragraph are longer (with an average of 22 words) and varied and, as thus, more mature, while the first, with all short and simple sentences (with an average of 8 words), seems to be childish.

Long sentences, therefore, are used to create complex communications, adding detail and richness to what otherwise would be a series of less informative simple sentences.

4.5.3 Short and long sentences

Now, you must have a better idea about short and long sentences: Both can be effective—and ineffective. The best way to use them is to alternate short and long sentences. In other words, after one or more long sentences that express complext ideas or images, the pitch of a short sentence can be refreshing and arresting. Simlilarly, a long sentence that follows a series of short ones can serve as a climax or summing-up that relaxes the tension or fulfills the reader’s expection, giving the reader a sense of completion.

A common strategy in using sentences is as follows: A short sentence works well at the start of a paragraph or speech item to grab attention, and at the end, to summarize and signal completion; long sentences are used to express more subtle and detailed information—to convey complex ideas, list multiple related points, or preview information—in the body of the paragraph or speech item.

Another strategy is to remember that too many is too many. Too many short sentences in a row can make your writing choppy and childish, and with too many long sentences the reader may have forgotten what they read by the time that the writer has reached the final few words. Too many short sentences exaust the reader, and too many long ones make them get lost!