Dear daughters:

I read an article today and was touched by the author's opinion. You could read the abstract of this research article by yourself.  The conclusion is reasonable and believable because it matches what many parents have told their children. This article also reminds me of one saying: Who laughs last laughs best(谁笑到最后， 谁笑得最美).

So, in my opinion,

in high school and even in college,

It is OK if she is very popular but you feel left out

It is OK if she has a boy friend but you do not have

It is OK if she wears fashioned clothes or shoes or watches or whatever but you do not

It is OK to be yourself when you do not need to be something

It is OK if you are not "cool" now

Love you two, mom

What Ever Happened to the “Cool” Kids? Long-Term Sequelae of Early Adolescent Pseudomature Behavior

1. Joseph P. Allen^*, 
2. Megan M. Schad,
3. Barbara Oudekerk and
4. Joanna Chango

Pseudomature behavior—ranging from minor delinquency to precocious romantic involvement—is widely viewed as a nearly normative feature of adolescence. When such behavior occurs early in adolescence, however, it was hypothesized to reflect a misguided overemphasis upon impressing peers and was considered likely to predict long-term adjustment problems. In a multimethod, multireporter study following a community sample of 184 adolescents from ages 13 to 23, early adolescent pseudomature behavior was linked cross-sectionally to a heightened desire for peer popularity and to short-term success with peers. Longitudinal results, however, supported the study's central hypothesis: Early adolescent pseudomature behavior predicted long-term difficulties in close relationships, as well as significant problems with alcohol and substance use, and elevated levels of criminal behavior.