小宝考试失败以后

去年春天，小宝参加了学校的数学尖子班选拔考试。这个考试的评分标准很有意思，只要孩子能答对一半得52分，就可以进尖子班。考试听上去很简单，但让孩子实行起来有一定难度。因为考试题目是随机杂乱排列的，如果难题在前面，简单题在后面，不会避重就轻的孩子，很可能把时间都用在啃前面的硬骨头上了，而后面简单的稀粥就没时间喝了。

考试那天，我忘了嘱咐小宝关于硬骨头和喝稀粥之间的关系，不难想象，只差几分，小宝落榜了。考试结果很意外，我也很难过。小宝一直上课外的KUMON数学班。尖子班考试时，他的KUMON水平已经至少到了初中甚至高中的水平了。小宝都已经会跑了，怎么可能不会爬呢？小宝肯定现场没发挥好，这才是考试失败的主要原因。这么一想，我们没责备孩子半个字。酒香不怕巷子深，我相信我的孩子肯定会有云开见日那一天。

我们总是指责应试教育，在美国，虽然应试教育也能卡住一些人的智慧，但至少这所学校允许家长为孩子申辩。即使孩子没考上尖子班，如果家长觉得孩子落榜是因为考试失误，家长可以向学校提出书面申请，力荐孩子进尖子班。

经过和小宝协商，我们一家人开始了向学校申辩的准备。关于申辩信，我写第一稿，老公修改后有了一个态度比较强硬的版本，二宝润色后有了一个态度比较和缓的版本。上交申辩信那天，我心里直打鼓，到底该交哪个版本呢？以柔克刚？还是硬中取胜呢？我犹豫了好一会儿，最后还是上交了态度强硬些的版本。因为在和老师的交谈中我得知，很多家长都在为孩子申辩，如果申述信太和缓，我担心我们的申述上不了台面。

收到家长们的申述信之后，学校统一安排时间，由校长和各位任课老师组成的评审团，对每个孩子的申述都做了详细的调查和重审。几星期后，我们收到学校来信，小宝被尖子班录取了！一年以后，我去参加尖子班的家长会时，任课老师高兴地告诉我，小宝现在是尖子班的尖子生。

我家的这个小故事，希望对任何考试的落榜生家长能有所启发。

1。孩子落榜了，我们可以失望和难过，但不要绝望，要想办法。不要打骂孩子，在失败面前，打骂丝毫无用。

2。一时的分数不能代表孩子的最终水平，要相信自己的孩子潜力。

3。让孩子受到一些挫折，不一定是坏事。马失前蹄，龙困浅滩，谁都有失误不得志的时候。要教会孩子如何面对问题，解决问题，锻炼心智，变坏事为好事。

4。家里的任何人遇到了困难，一家人要变成一个团队，共同想办法，而不是互相指责。

尖子班落榜，就是小宝人生中遇到的第一个小磨难。从小我们就应该让孩子懂得，生活不会像玩电子游戏那样可以随心所欲。无论是现在还是将来，挫折，是生活中不可缺少的内容。我们不是生活在真空中，我们不可能没有任何问题，要慢慢学会解决问题，是我们一生要做的功课。

我家眼下就遇到了一些困难。为了安抚孩子，今天在送小宝上学的路上，我跟小宝说了这样一句话: When life goes wrong， you have to be strong.(生活出现意外时，你必须要坚强)。随后，我们娘俩有了如下对话：

“妈妈，When life goes wrong， you have to be strong. 这是谁说的？”

“这是妈妈说的呀”

“妈妈，你说得真好，你可以写名言啦(quote)”

我经常鼓励我的儿子，我的儿子也经常鼓励我。这样的日子，多好！

附注：我们的申述信(态度强硬版)

To whom it may concern:

                We received recently the letter that includes the results of the SCAT test and was informed that Daniel did not qualify for G/T Math. We’d like to appeal to you of this decision. As his parents, we have observed him throughout many years of his hard work. We do feel that he will be able to handle the G/T Math class without difficulties and a single SCAT test will not reflect his real Math potential. We hope that you would re-evaluate his qualification based on the following evidence.

1) Since at age of five, Daniel has been attending classes regularly at Kumon Math class. He has achieved several milestones of Math class (please refer to attached certificates). He is now on level H, which covers linear functions, inequalities, exponents, and equations. He understands the material and learns new topics with ease. Currently, he is learning linear functions and equations. It takes much work to keep up with the rigorous repetition that is part of the training. Daniel is motivated enough to keep up with work. He has many after school activities, but he always has the time to finish his school homework as well as Kumon homework because of his efficiency and self-motivation. Attached is a sample of his work at Kumon.

2) Daniel has been achieving all A’s for the past two quarters in school.

3) His Math Reasoning Ability is in the 46%ile, probably within the standard deviation range of cutoff score of 52%ile for G/T qualification.

4) We have to admit that Daniel is not a skillful test taker, resulting in that his score underestimates his Math capabilities. He told us that during his SCAT, he probably finished only half of all the questions since he tried to work on each individual question without skipping the hard ones initially, ended up with no time to finish the ones he knew the answer.

Overall, we would strongly recommend that Daniel be given a chance to try out G/T Math class. We’d not have him lose an opportunity to challenge him in Math. We feel confident that he would be fine in your G/T Math class.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you regarding this.