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Jokes
(2007-03-15 09:14:47)The Teacher's Gift
Itwas the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher.
Aflorist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said:“I'll bet these are flowers!” The girl replied, “How did you know?”“Just a lucky guess,” she said.
Next,a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, “Just a lucky guess.”
Finally,a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak.
Theteacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, “No.” She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no.
Finally,she gave up and asked him what was in the box. He said happily,“A puppy!”
It
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Next,
Finally,
The
Finally,
One-Eyed Dog
Twoblondes are walking down the road when one says “Look at that dog with one eye!”
Theother blonde covers one of her eyes and says “Where?”
Two
The
Blonde Counting Sheep
Oncethere was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says "If you can count all my sheep I'll let you have any one you want." The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, "You have 356 sheep." The farmer exclaims, "Wow -- you're exactly right. I guess blondes really aren't dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep."
Theblonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."
Once
The
Some Things You Just CAN'T Explain
Oneday, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar.
"What'swrong, fella?" asked the bartender.
"Somethings you just can't explain."
"Tellme more.''
"Okay.I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. Then the dumb cow knocked it down with her left leg, so I grabbed some string and ties her left leg up. Then I milked her again and the stupid cow knocked it down with her right leg. So I grabbed some string and tied up her right leg. I then milked her again and the cow knocked it down with her tail. But this time I was out of string, so I decided to use my belt, so I tied it up with my belt. Just then my pants fell down and my wife walked in.''
One
"What's
"Some
"Tell
"Okay.
Pig!
Aman is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road.
Asthey pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "Pig!"
Theman immediately leans out his window and replies with "BITCH!"
Theyeach continue on their way, as the man rounds the next corner he crashes into a big pig in the middle of the road.
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