致父母

Kim’s Note: Communication problems

between parents and children are not unique to China.

Just as parents all over the world love their children,

they also struggle to understand them!

This letter is a wonderful source of parenting advice and a great springboard to better communication.

I hung a copy of it on my kitchen wall at home as a reminder

to be more understanding with my children!

With the holiday season drawing near,

it is the perfect time to think about

the priceless gifts of open communication

and unconditional love and understanding!

I hope your family can enjoy these qualities all through the year!

亲爱的爸爸妈妈，我有很多话想对你们说……

      Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I shouldn’t have all I ask for...I'm only testing you.

      Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it...it makes me feel more secure.

      Don't let me form bad habits. I hope you can help me detect them in early stages.

      Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

      Don't be too upset if I say "I hate you." It isn't that I hate you, but only that I need your attention.

      Don't protect me from consequences. I need to learn the hard way.

      Don't nag. If you do, I will have to protect myself by pretending to be deaf.

      Don't make rash  promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.

      Don't tax  my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.

      Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose my faith in you.

      Don't put me off when I ask you questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

      Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can try to understand.

      Don't ever suggest that you are perfect. It gives me a great shock when I discover that you are not.

      Don't ever think it beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm and thankful toward you.

      Don't forget I love experimenting. I couldn't get along without it, so please put up with it.

      Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me but please try.

      Don't forget that I can’t thrive without lots of love. But I don't need to tell you, do I?

      I need you. So try to keep yourself fit and healthy.

      I want us to enjoy a long and happy life together.

      Mom and Dad, you are the best!

    别宠坏我。我很清楚自己不该要什么就有什么……我只是想试探您。

    别害怕对我要求严格。我宁愿那样……那样反而让我更有安全感。

    别让我染上坏习惯。请及早帮我发现我的坏毛病。

    别让我觉得犯错就是罪过，那样会颠覆我的价值观。

    如果我说“我恨你”，别太心烦意乱。我不是真的恨您，只是需要您的关心。

    别保护我免遭挫折，我需要学着经历困境，得到教训。

    别唠叨。如果您那样做，我只有装聋来保护自己。

    别轻易承诺。记住：我会因为承诺无法兑现而感到深深地失望。

    别过分指责我坦承的错误。那样很容易让我因害怕而撒谎。

    别自相矛盾。那会叫我十分困惑，以致不再相信您。

    别对我的提问敷衍了事。那样的话，我会停止发问，转而向别处寻求答案。

    别告诉我，我的恐惧很可笑。它们确实存在，你应该尽量试着去理解。

    别老暗示您是完美无缺的。如果我发现您并非如此，我会极为震惊。

    千万别认为向我道歉会有损您的尊严。一个诚恳的道歉，会让我觉得格外温暖。

    别忘了我喜欢尝试，它在我的成长中必不可少。所以，请您宽容以待。

    别忘了我成长起来有多快。要跟上我一定很难，但请您努力尝试与我保持一致。

    别忘了没有充裕的爱我无法茁壮成长。但我不必明说，您也知道，对吗？

    我需要您。所以，请您保持身体健康。

    我希望我们可以一起享受漫长而幸福的人生。

    爸爸妈妈，你们是最棒的！