I got bad rashes all over my face the first time when I was 2.

Then my mother took me to the doctor, all kinds of doctor.

After a lot of treatments and swallowed tons of antibiotics and steroids. Now I’m literally allergic to everything. Deodorant, laundry detergent, alcohol, chocolate, peanut, pineapple, lychee, mango, prawn, crab, lobster, msg, strangers, nice people……

I never stop seeing doctor since then.

I was seeing another doctor last week, after a long examination.

I was told, “you are perfectly healthy, though there is something severe wrong with you, nothing physically.”

“.........?”

“It’s your brain. Something wrong with your brain.”

“.........!”

Oh.

No wonder. No wonder my mother kept the rest of my childhood and adolescene indoors.

Alone.

So from now on, I’ve decided my story is not about a miserable person who was trapped in a house swallow all kind of medicines but find infinite fun and beauty in anything, any little thing.

Not sure doing this could help me forget the loneliness or escape from my misery or it just abstracts me so I would not want to run away.

I don’t know.

But anyway. I am the one telling story here.

So thanks to my damaged brain.

You are the most exquisite.

bwing

summer. 2010