博你一笑_职场散淡人孔洁

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博你一笑

(2009-10-04 23:59:53)

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杂谈

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for?
Husband:   Nothing.
Wife: ; Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.
*******************************
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
******************************
Wife:         Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife:         Yes and no.
******************************
Wife:         You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife:         You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
******************************* ****
Girl:   When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl:   Well that's because we aren't married yet.
***********************************
Son:   Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son:   But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
*********************************
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
***********************************
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
***********************************
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "Billionaire "
******************************
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies:         Thanks for the warning.
******************************
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

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