2005年幼稚之作，现在不值一哂。当人们读自己以前的作品
感觉幼稚时，是否表示他正在走向成熟？我不清楚。

The title—The Man Who Married Himself—of the first
essay on English World, the 12th issue, 2005, shocked
me.  With a burning desire, I scanned it through and came
back to read it word for word from beginning to end.  Then
I had to agree that I myself was, to a great deal, similar
to the author in the mindset.  But the author was a
trillion times smarter than me. He ended up marrying
himself for a few years, successfully divorced, waited ten
years as a single, and then married a beautiful lady, and
has been living with her happily.  He is expecting a son
now.

He lives in America. I live in China.

I, too, want to marry myself. But I have never really made
the decision.

But he went so far as to actually celebrate a wedding in a
church where the Bishop made him take an oath,

"Will you keep yourself as a husband, to live as one in
marriage? Will you love and comfort yourself, obey and
honour yourself in sickness and in health, and be faithful
to yourself as long as you shall live?"

His friends mocked at him.  They were cruel in their
sarcastic comments against his unusual decision. 

"One wet himself laughing," he writes.

After the wedding, he got wacky gifts, obviously meaning to
attack or laugh—unusual things like silk gloves, pornographic
magazines, and even a ceiling mirror. 

I admire the author's brave narration of all those things
that meant to despise him. He also writes about sex. 

"...and the sex was, well—it was whatever I made of it.
There was some media intrusion of course, lots of cheap
journalists trying to cash in on this unusual union. I
found some of their articles amusing, and others quite
offensive, especially the ones dubbing me the most
conceited and/or narcissistic man in the world."

Immediately I have empathy with him.  I, too, can be
considered the most conceited and/or narcissistic man in
the world. I must confess, when such a comment is given
about me.

The author, Mr. Charlie Fish, did not mention why he lost
hope about women and made that decision of marrying himself.
He came back to a normal heterosexual life in the end after
more than ten years' struggling with loneliness, weirdness,
and separation with friends. He managed to live a normal
life anyway.

I am not sure if I would ever have the luck to live a
normal life.  Loneliness and separation that I have created
myself live with me.  I don't want to communicate with
women, not even with friends.  I do not have, as a matter
of fact, truthful, loyal friends.  All my friends think me
crazy.  A few close ones have tried to pull me out of the
trouble, but they failed.  They do not want to try any more.
When I need it, they would listen to me, or join me for a
cup of tea. That's the real situation I am having now.

As for work, it is normal.  I would never cease my desire
to explore and try hard for the best performance at work.
You would never know that I am such an arbitrary or radical
person when you see me work.  I can be humble and I SHALL
listen.  I don't argue much.  I do the job and try to do it
the best way I can handle.

Privately I am wacky and crazy.  Professionally I am full
of passion.  I have double faces.  :)

(Written December 2005)