The Positive Meanings of Love

We'd like to share some of the positive meaning love has for us.

    Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person--not just the beautiful side but also the limitations,inconsistencies and faults.I have an awareness of the other's feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core of that person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeper level.

Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent that it is genuine, my caring is not possessive, nor does it hold the other person back. On the contrary,my caring frees both of us. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hoope you will become all that you can become.Consequently, I don't put up bostacles to what you do that enhances you as a person, even thouth it may result in my discomfort at times.

Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love.If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender your identity to match an image of what I expect you to be for me.I can allow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you as an object or using you primarily to satisfy my own needs.

Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you , I respond to most of your major needs as a person. This reponsibility does not include my doing for you what you are capable of doing for yourselflnor does it mean that I run your life for you.It does mean caknowleding that what I am and what I do affects you,so that I am directly involved in your happiness and your suffering.Alover does have the capacity to hurt or ignore the loved one, and in this sense we see that love involves an acceptance of some responsibility for the impact my way of being has on you.

Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not mean surrendering our total slves to each other;nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does involve a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, struggle,and despair, sa well sa in times of calm and enjoyent.

 Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, Itrust that you well accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me attractive, and taht you won't abandon me; I trust the mutual nature of our love. If we trust each other, we are willing to be open to each other and reveal our true selves.

Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times when I am bored,times when I may feel like geving up ,times of real strain, and times I feel I can't move forward. Authentic love does not imply endruing happiness. I can stay during rough times, however,because I can remember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with the idea that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms. However,love is not reserved tof a perfect world. Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit that works in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears to rule.In other words,love comes into an imperfect world to make it possible to live.

Love is open. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might prohibit certain actions on our parts,we are not totally and exclusively married to each other. It is a false love that cements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow.

 Love is selfish. I can only love yhou if I genuinely love, value,appreciate,and respect myself. If I am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile im myself,then I'm able to give to you out of may fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you lvoe is by fully enjouing myself with you.

Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and waht the person is now.By taking people as they are,we make them worse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make them better.

To sum it up,mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's individuality.In love, two beings become one and yet remain two.

译文：

爱情的积极意义

我们想与大家一起分享爱情给我们带来的一些积极意义。

爱一个人就意味着了解对方。要了解对方的各个方面————不仅包括美好的一面，还包括其局限、矛盾之处以及缺点。要了解对方的情感、思想，感受他的内心。要能够头国他在社交场合的表现和他的社会角色而看到他的内心深处。

爱一个人意味着关心他的幸福。真正的爱不是为了占有，也不是为了束缚。相反，真心相爱的两个人都是自由的。真爱一个人就是关心他的成长，希望他尽可以尽其所能有所成就。因此，我不会为他的个人发展设置障碍，即使这样有时会给我自己带来不便。

爱一个人以为着要尊重对方。爱一个人，就是将其视作一个独立的人，有自己的价值观、思想和感情，而不会坚持要他放弃个性来变成我所希望的他。我能允许并鼓励他与众不同，做真正的自己。我不会把他当成东西来对待，也不会利用他来满足自己的需要。

爱一个人意味着对对方负责。爱一个人，就是要把他当成独立的个体，对他的需要做出反应。这种负责并不是包揽他自己也可以作到的事，也不是操纵他的生活。这种负责是承认我的所做所为会影响到他，他的欢乐痛苦都与我休憩相关。相爱者的确回伤害或忽略所爱的人。从这个意义上说，我们认为，爱就要为自己的行为对对方产生的影响承担某种责任。

爱一个人意味着对对方做出承诺。这种承诺不不是完全把自己交给对方，也并不是说这种相爱关系一定要永远不变。这种承诺意味着不论是在宁静快乐时，还是在艰难困苦、失意绝望是，都愿意互相厮守。

 爱一个人意味着信赖对方。爱一个人，就是相信他会接受我的关心，接受我的爱，而不会故意伤害我；相信他被我所吸引，而不会抛弃我；相信我们之间的爱是相互的。如果我们彼此信赖，我们就愿意彼此开诚布公，敞开心扉。

爱能够容忍不完美。相爱有时也会感到厌烦，有时想放弃，有时感到压力，有时感到羁绊。真正的爱并不意味着永远幸福。但是，在困难时期我能坚守，因为我们仍记得我们共同度过的往昔，我也能想象如果我们愿意直面问题、共度难关，我们将共同拥有什么样的未来。我们一致认为爱是一种精神，他能改变人生。爱是一种生活方式，他能创造一切，也能改变一切。但是爱并不只为完美世界所独有，爱本来就是为我们这个不完美、有缺陷的世界而存在的。爱应该是一种能缓解痛苦的精神力量，应该给我们这充满荒谬的生活带来意义。也就是说，是爱使我们能够在这不完美的世界上生活下去。

爱是包容的。爱一个人，就要鼓励对方与他人建立联系。尽管对彼此的爱与承诺不允许我们做出某些行为，我们的结合也不是全然排他的。两个人密不可分，彼此没有其他的生活空间，这样的爱是虚伪的。

爱又是自私的。只有真正自爱在重、自赏自尊的人，才会爱别人。如果自己空虚那么能给对方的也只有空虚。如果认为自己是完善的、出色的，那么我就能以自己的充实为对方增光。表达爱的最好方法之一就是与对方一起充分体验自己。

爱一个人要看到对方的内在潜力。爱一个人，就是要看到他今后的发展潜力，也要接受他今天的所作所为。认为对方一直会是今天这个样子，我们会令他退步；以对方应该成为的目标去对待他，则回令其进步。

 总而言之，成熟的爱就是在保持个性的前提下双方结合。两个人由于爱而合二为一，同时保持各自的独立性。