加载中…文化差异之-老外都爱迟到嘛？Punctuality
(2009-08-31 10:24:47)| 分类： 随笔随感.Comments |
周六MK的生日party，我很早就到了，大概比预定时间8:30pm提前了将近一个小时，因为不认识场地，所以出来的早，没想到很快就找到了，我的出现让MK着实惊讶了一下，不过歪打正着的是她正好一个人忙不过来，所以帮她摆东西，准备了一下，拍拍照片，还算没有闲着。
第2个来得是她的助理，也是一个中国女孩，非常准时的8:30到了，三个人坐下来聊天，非常安静，一点也不像party的时间已到，如果是国人的派对，现在恐怕已经热闹起来了吧。直到9点，人们才陆陆续续的到达，之后，我就一直在想这个问题，准时，还是不准时？什么情况下准时？什么情况下晚一点儿？依据以前的经验，老美爱迟到是出了名的，曾经有个朋友，我总要跟她约的时间要比我预想的早至少半个小时，才能让我自己不会被等死，还听过一种说法，叫“Fashionable
late”，就是晚那么5-15分钟是完全可以的，哦，原来这不是不礼貌，这是时尚！哈哈
这跟中国人的传统习惯，绝对是相悖的。从小的教育，就让我们有了根深蒂固的理念-准时。记得上中学的时候，学校无数次有各种规定强调不准迟到，1分钟都不可能，更夸张的是有一段时间，如果迟到一分钟，第一堂课就不能上了，我至今记得我一大早在楼梯上狂奔，气喘吁吁的踩着点儿冲进教室，虽然我不想上课，但我更不想被罚。当然，学校永远是最严格的，但在澳洲夏令营的时候，准时坐在教室的，永远是中国人和日本人，等上了大半节课，巴西人才穿着拖鞋，散着零乱的头发出现在教室，无语！上班以后，在老英的地盘，是弹性工作制，不用打卡，只要一天工作够7个半小时，就可以。。。。。
回来后，MK给我发信，感谢我提前过去帮她set
up，但我心里还是有疑虑，这样在其他文化里会不会很不礼貌或者rude？MK我比较熟悉，她对中国也了解，所以无所谓，可是其他情况呢？于是我就把这些疑问都发给了她，她的回复是这样的：
It's fine
to come early if you know the person well -- especially if you tell
them you'd like to come early to help them set up.
I'd say, though, that most Westerners will come
late. If it's a meal at someone's home, people
usually come 5-15 minutes late, just in case the host needs a
little extra time to prepare. If it's a party,
like last night -- well, what you saw was pretty typical.
People really start showing up about an hour
after the party is supposed to have started. It
then becomes a bit of a game, figuring out what time you should say
the party starts. If it's "post-dinner" (that is,
you're not feeding everyone a full meal), you wouldn't want it to
start any earlier than 8pm, and given that many Westerners eat
dinner at 7:30 or 8, if you have a party starting at 8 they won't
show up until 9 or 9:30 anyway. So I said 8:30,
expecting people to start trickling in around 9 and for most to
arrive around 9:30.
如果你和办party的人比较熟悉，特别是如果他需要提前准备，需要帮忙，早到是没问题的。但大多数的西方人会晚到，如果是在某人家吃饭，大家基本会晚到5-15分钟，给主人一些提前准备的时间。昨晚的派对是很典型的情况，大家都在开始时间后的1个小时才出现。所以，选定派对的时间就像一个游戏，需要一点技巧，如果你希望大家来party之前都吃过晚饭了，就不应该在8点前开始，大多数西方人，会在7点半到8点吃晚饭，就算是我说8点开始，他们不到9点或者9点半也到不了，所以我订了8：30，希望大家都在9点-9：30来。
If I were
cooking dinner at my home, though, and said 7, I'd want everyone to
be there no later than 7:30, and 7:20 would be better.
What I usually do, in a case like that, is get
dinner almost prepared, with just a little extra heating up or
stir-frying needed, so once guests arrive I can sit down with them
for up 20 minutes or so with a glass of wine, then excuse myself
and spend 5-10 minutes getting the food onto the table.
I definitely want people to be eating within an
hour of when I said they should come, and that's usually what
happens when I eat at other people's homes too.
But in a case like this, I definitely wouldn't
want people to come early, because I'm generally pretty busy right
up until the time I said people should arrive. So
-- when traveling in the States and Europe, if invited to someone's
home for dinner, come 5-15 minutes late and you'll be just fine.
For a big party, unless you know the person well,
come no sooner than the starting time. If you're
one of the first ones there, it gives the host someone to talk to,
which is actually a very nice thing, while the others all take
their time getting there.
如果是要别人到我家吃饭，我说7点开始，我希望大家会在7点30前来，最好是7：20，我经常会做得是，把所有事物都准备好，只是加热或者简单加工一下就可以了，所以在大家来以后我可以和他们喝杯红酒，聊上20分钟，再用5-10分钟迅速把食物准备好。我非常希望大家能在开始时间的一个小时之内吃完饭，我去别人家吃饭的时候也是这样的。在这种情况下，我肯定不希望大家来的早，因为在开始时间前我会忙着做饭和准备。所以，当在欧美旅行时，如果被邀请到别人家吃饭，迟到5-10分钟是没问题的。如果是派对，除非你和主人很熟悉，不要比规定时间到的早。如果你是第一个到的，可以和主人聊聊天，也是很不错的。
看了她写的，我豁然开朗，总结就是：“宁可晚到，不要太早到”。就算如此，最早到的估计还是咱们老中，所谓迟到，其实是给主人更多的准备时间。就我个人而言，我总觉得心里就有一个块儿表，不希望别人等，但有时候，别人也许是希望等一等的。
p.s-以上准属胡扯乱说，欢迎大家发言，今天没图。
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