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Lost in Translation --- The Kind of Feeling
(2006-02-26 04:09:06)This
Sina blog is new and seems to be quiet compared to my previous MSN
space.
My MSN
space ever existed for three months. Not long, not short either. I
created the space in a very peace mood. Just want to record my
feelings of the days when the days gone far and away. The days were
so recorded when the feelings lost at the time and, one
day, the feelings may come back.
However, it can never
be supposed in any
way.
Lots of
friends, known and unknown, came and left. Some with pieces of
words, some without a sound. The warm greetings
make me feel that I am still alive.
One day,
the space was accidentally down. Everthing was
lost. So were the days recorded,
... and my feelings. The space
went off already twenty over days. It seems that I disappeared. I
am not intentionally hiding. But friends are thinking in that way.
Even worse, yesterday, I cannot access my hotmail and the MSN
messenger for completely one day. The
short twenty-four hours horrified
me indeed. It seems that I was cast away. It was
the first time that I felt really terrible. I am not fear of being
alone. But losing connections with friends is terrible. When I
walked on the streets putting something in post, I can still see
that everything was just as it was and everybody was as ever busy.
But they cannot see me. Seems as if I were on a different planet.
No one knows me. No one is willing to talk to me. No one cares
me. The feeling was horrible. I was asking myself,
where am I, where are my friends?
Panic
makes me feel dying. I ever considered death (just as stupid as
thinking of why do people have to live). But the
feeling was faint. Not as concrete as getting lost in the world
that you know very well. The kind of feeling cannot be described
more clearer than that of a film "Lost in
Translation".
Fortunately, I was notified that my password was changed by the
MSN support team. Got connection with people again, which makes me
feel better. However, my MSN space seems to be gone
forever.
Nevertheless, I got a new space at here. And do not want to
move any more because I have moved from place to
place too much. What I want is a real settling down of my soul and
my heart.
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