A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?"

Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we wouldn't be normal if we didn't. There are all kinds of breasts depending on a woman's age. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."

"Onions, dad?"

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of weenies are there?"

The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's 20s, a man's weenie is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yep, dried up, and the balls are only there for decoration."