Condom says to Kotex, "When you  work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months

Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a
NEW ONE every morning!
 
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big
and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, name of
the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
 
A lady visited her doctor one morning. Doc said: "You look so weak and
exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what he is doing, the maid replied:
 "MASTURBATING."(masterbathing)