【英文标题】
Limbo
Rhonda Lucas
地狱边界
朗达۰卢卡斯
颜林海解读/译
【标题解读】
根据《美国传统词典(第四版)》的解释,Limbo有三层意思:1)词源意义:源自罗马天主教的术语,用来指尚未进入天堂,灵魂寄寓的地方,即地狱边界(the border of Hell)。尤指那些还未接受洗礼的婴儿或基督诞生之前那些具有正义感的人灵魂寄寓之处。2)引申意义:遗忘或忽视的区域或状况;3)引申意义:监禁的状态和地方;4)引申意义:中间状态。从此篇短文引用的书中解释看“Limbo: an intermediate place or state; a region or condition of oblivion or neglect”,文中limbo是引申义3)和4)。其实,三个引申意义与词源意义都有直接隐喻联系,因此,既可译为“地狱边界”也可译为“心神不定/茫然无措”,甚至“纠结”也可考虑。但作为标题,笔者将其译为“地狱边界”,而在正文(5)句中将其译为“如地狱边界一般茫然无助”。
【英语原文】
(1)(a)My parents’ divorce was (b)final. (2)(a)The house had been sold and (b)the day had come to move. (3)Thirty years of the family’s life was now crammed into the garage. (4)The two-by-fours (a)that ran the length of the walls (b)were the only uniformity (c)among the clutter (d)furniture, and (e)memories. (5)All was (a)frozen in limbo (b)between the life just passed and the one to come.
【原文解读】作者以搬家前所见到的房子和车库的状况为描写背景,寓意深刻:婚姻好比是一栋房子,离婚有如地震,地震震垮的不仅仅是房子,而是房子里的孩子。(1-2)句为客观叙事句,直陈事实:父母离婚已成定局(1),离婚的结局就是分家搬家(2),(3)描写句:一个crammed就把离婚搬家的杂乱情境呈现出来了。(4)句为主观描写句,其中uniformity和clutter构成了矛盾修饰法(oxymoron)。(5)描写句,为整个文章的中心意思句,同时也是点题句。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(1)句my遗而不译,可以将形容词final译为动词短语“走到尽头”或“已成定局”,但不宜译为“尘埃落定”,因为此词“多用来表示事情经过了曲折变化终于有了结果”,也不宜译为“终成定局”,因为易产生作者希望自己父母离婚的语用意义。(2a)是有标记被动句,既可以译为汉语有标记被动句,也可以译为汉语无标记被动句,此句不适合用易句法译为主动句“他们卖掉了房子”;(2b)中to move修饰the day,译为前置定语。(3)译为汉语有/无标记被动句皆可。(4)“two-by-fours”有两个意思:a)Measuring two units by four units, especially inches即2X4英寸,如2X4的木板;b)Slang.Small in size; boxed in or cramped: a two-by-four apartment.指面积狭小之意。此处原文中的定语从句“that ran the length of the walls”意在告诉读者是指房间面积,而且如果结合上一句中的“crammed”可以断定作者意指“房间狭小”,汉语有类似表达的方法“方寸小屋”;句中uniformity和clutter构成的矛盾修饰法”汉译时保留其修辞格;memories复数指可供纪念的物品,故译为:念想(之物)。(5)翻译时刈分为两个小句。
【英语原文】
(6)The sunlight (a)pushing its way through the window (b)splattered (c)against a barricade of boxes. (7)(a)Like a fluorescent river, it (b)streamed (c)down the sides and (d)flooded (e)the cracks of the cold, (f)cement floor. (8)(a)I stood in the doorway (b)between the house and garage and (c)wondered if the sunlight would ever again penetrate the memories packed inside those boxes. (9)For an instant, the cardboard boxes (a)appeared as tombstones, monuments (b)to those memories.
【原文解读】此段为描写阳光。(6a)句中pushing one’s way through为拟人,(6b)splattered为拟声词,移就格;作者用介词against而不用on,表明堆积的箱子很高挡住了窗户,挡住了阳光; a barricade of boxes为隐喻。(7)进一步描写阳光,(a)like…a river 为明喻,(b)streamed和(d)flooded都是移就格,理解(c)down the sides时,注意所呈现出来的画面感。 (8)叙事(8a)+心理描写(8c),理解时要注意(8a)“我”、“门口”,“房子”和 “车库”之间的空间关系;(8b)中的ever again 是针对(6a)中的pushing its way through来说的,与此句中的penetrate同义,故作者使用ever again,意为“also”。(9)句为描写句,理解时要注意句中名词的复数意义。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(6)将(6c)隐喻the barricade of boxes和against所构成的空间画面感,故将barricade易为动词“当窗”,并刈分为句,移至句首。保持(6a)splattered的移就格。(7a)保持明喻格,river本身属于提喻(Synecdoche ),译为“溪水”,fluorecsent:glowing as if with fluorescence,译为:粼粼(水石闪映貌);(7b) streamed和(7d)flooded移就格,(7c)增益“箱盒”和表复数概念的词“两”;(7e-f)刈分两个小句,这样原文画面感即现。(8)刈分为三个小句,画面感即现。(8)刈分为三个小句,(8b)译为汉语存现句,(8c)memories译为:念想之物。 (9a)明喻易为暗喻,(9b)介词to易为动词“铭刻”,此处memories译为:记忆。
【英语原文】
(10)(a)The furnace in the corner, (b)with its huge tubular fingers reaching out and (c)disappearing into the wall, (d)was unaware of the futility (e)of (f)trying to warm the empty house. (11)The (a)rhythmical whir (b)of its effort (c)hummed the elegy (d)for the memories (e)boxed in front of me.(12) (a)I closed the door, (b)sat down on the step, and (c)listened reverently. (13)(a)The feeling of loss (b)transformed the bad memories into not-so-bad, (c)the not-so-bad memories into good, and (d)committed the good ones to my mind. (14)Still, I felt as vacant as the house inside.
【原文解读】此段在描写房屋及其内部以及触景生情的感慨。(10a)空间方位描写,(10b-c)为独立主格结构,化动态为静态;(10d)拟人格;(10e)名词所有格式独立主格;(10f)动名词短语,化动态为静态。(11a)状态描写,whir为拟声格,(11b)动态描写,(11c)拟人修辞格描写,(11e-f)空间和状态描写。(12)为叙述连谓句:三个动词closed,sat down,listened并列表示动作的承接性。(13)句是前一句动词listened的结果,属于心理描写,描写心理的释怀感。(14)心理描写,描写心理的空寂。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(10a)将定语in the corner移位于状语位置,而不译为“角落处的火炉”,(10bce)为伴随状语,译为汉语的连谓句;其中(10b)保留原文中的拟人格。(11a)形容词定语rhythmical移位于形容词谓语,(11b)名词主语whir移位于动词谓语,同时保持whir的拟声修辞格,(11c)拟人格译为明喻拟人格“似吟唱”,(11d)介词for易为动词“哀悼”。(12)译为汉语承接性连谓句,其中listened reverently译为“肃然聆听起来”而非“肃然聆听着”以表示动作的承接性,以便与(13)在语气上连贯一体。(13a)增益表过渡的时间连词“此时”和让步状语连词“虽然……但……”。(14)still表示与前一句构成让步关系,翻译时增益“虽然如此”。
【英语原文】
(15)A workbench(a) to my right (b)stood (c)disgustingly (d)empty. (16)Not so much as a nail had been left behind. (17)(a)I noticed, for the first time, (b)what a dull, (c)lifeless green it was. (18)(a)Lacking the disarray of tools (b)that used to cover it, now (c)it seemed as out of place (d)as a bathtub in the kitchen. (19)In fact, (a)as I scanned the room, the only things (b)that did seem to belong were the cobwebs (c)in the corners.
【原文解读】此段描写house内部情况:(15a)空间描写,(15b)拟人格,(15c)情感描写:disgustingly是带有很强主观情感的派生副词,(15d)empty状态描写。(16)对上一句中的empty加以细节描写。(17a)叙事,(17b)描写+感叹句+暗喻。(18ab)对照性描写,(18cd)为是变异性同级比较句,可以看作是“Someone had not left behind something as much as a nail”演变而来。(19a)叙事,表时间,(19b)评述,表scanned的结果,(19c)空间描写。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】此段接续上一段进一步描写室内。(15ab)译为汉语存现句,其中遗省代词“my”,(15c)将表情绪性的派生副词disgustingly刈分为小句,还原为形容词来翻译。(16)译为汉语无标记被动句。(17a)中noticed译为“发现(觉)/觉得”或“注意到”,不能译为“注意/观察”;(17b)a dull… green要译为“枯草(地)”而非“绿色”,(17c)lifeless刈分为小句。(18a-b)译为汉语对比句式;(18c-d)为同级比较句,翻译时将“out of place”同词异译为“别扭”和“欠妥”。(19b)增益过渡性动词“方觉”
【英语原文】
(20)(a)A group of boxes (b)had been set aside from the others and (c)stacked in front of the workbench. (21) (a)Scrawled like graffiti on the walls of (b)dilapidated buildings (c)were the words “Salvation Army.” (22)Those words (a)caught my eyes as effectively (b)as a flashing neon sign. (23)They reeked of irony. (24)“Salvation—was a bit too late for this family,” I mumbled sarcastically to myself.
【原文解读】(20)描写屋内的箱子的空间位置,(21)描写屋墙,属于倒装句;(22)状态描写,描写墙上的涂鸦,(23-24)作者对涂鸦的评述。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(20a)名词短语刈分为小句,(20bc)将有标记被动句译为汉语无标记被动句。(21a)译为汉语存现句,(21b)将分词定语dilapidated移位于形容词谓语;(21c)译为汉语存现句。(22)同级比较句,将其中caught my eyes 同词异译为(22a)“很显眼”和(22b)“引起了我注意”。(23)不难翻译。(24)mumble为拟声词,译文仍然保持其拟声效果。
【英语原文】
(25)The houseful of furniture (a)that had once been so carefully chosen to complement and blend with the color schemes of the various rooms (b)was indiscriminately crammed together against a single wall. (26) The (a)uncoordinated colors (b)combined in turmoil and (c)lashed out (d)in the greyness of the room.
【原文解读】(25)叙述+描写;(26)描写房间里各种色彩冲撞于一处,。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(25a)有标记被动句译为无标记被动句,并增益“原本”和“如今”分别来翻译过去完成时had…been和一般过去时was…crammed。(26)刈分为四个小句, (26a)定语形容词移位于形容词谓语,lashed out意为“冲击、冲撞”,将(26d)刈分为小句置于句首。
【英语原文】
(27)(a)I suddenly became aware of the coldness (b)of the garage, (c)but I didn’t want to go back inside the house, (d)so I made my way through the boxes to the couch.(28) I (a)cleared a space (b)to lie down and (c)curled up,(d) covering myself with my jacket. (29)(a)I hoped (b)my father would return soon with the truck (c)so we could empty the garage and (d)leave the cryptic silence of parting lives behind.
【原文解读】(27)描写(a)+叙述(b)+心理描写(c)+动作描写(d)。(28)动作描写,(28ac)构成连谓句,(28b)目的性动作,(28d)伴随行性动作。(29)心理描写,其中(29c)中的so表示目的,and也表示目的。
【汉语译文】
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【翻译津要】(27abc)为静态心理描写,译为省略主语的连谓句,同时增益过渡性连接词“即便如此”,(27d)为动态描写主谓结构。(28)将(a-b-c)译为汉语承接性连谓语句,(d)译为伴随谓语(动词+着)。(29)将 (a-b-c-d)的逻辑关系翻译出来。
(找出以上解读中的错误)
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