Regrets of the dying临终前最常提到的五种人生遗憾
(2011-06-16 04:47:56)
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这是在网上看到的英文原文(http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html),我只把小部分翻译成了中文。
REGRETS OF THE DYING(临终的后悔)
by Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were
those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were
shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their
lives.
(我曾多年从事临终关怀工作,我的病人都是那些只能回家等死的人。我和他们共度他们生命中最后的3至12周,分享了一些难忘的特别时光。)
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own
mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for
growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of
emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial
and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace
before they departed though, every one of
them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they
would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here
are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself,
not the life others expected of me.
(我希望我曾勇敢按自己真正的意愿度过人生,而不是按照别人的期望活着)
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise
that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is
easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had
not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing
that it was due to choices they had made, or not
made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your
dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it
is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they
no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
(我希望我没有那么卖力地工作)
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed
their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women
also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older
generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.
All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their
lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices
along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think
you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier
and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new
lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
(我希望我曾有勇气表达自己的感受)
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace
with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and
never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many
developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they
carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although
people may initially react when you change the way you are by
speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole
new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy
relationship from your life. Either way, you
win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my
friends.
(我希望我与我的老朋友们始终保持联系)
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old
friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to
track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives
that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There
were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and
effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they
are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships
slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the
physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their
financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or
status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get
things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually
though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is
all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all
that remains in the final weeks, love and
relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be
happier.
(我希望我自己活得更快乐一些)
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until
the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old
patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity
overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.
Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves,
that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh
properly and have silliness in their life
again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a
long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and
smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose
wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
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