Read all the way to the end.This took a lot of work to put together! 
从头到尾读完它，花了很多工夫（把他们）放在了一起!

一、例句：

1)The bandage was wound around the wound.

  绷带缠在伤口周围。

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

  这个农场以前生产农产品。

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  垃圾场太满了不得不拒绝更多的垃圾。

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
  我们必须擦亮波兰家俱。

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
  如果他加快（不拖拖拉拉）他可以领头。

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  在沙漠里士兵决定放弃他的甜点。

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
  由于此刻时间紧,他觉得是时候送出（介绍）礼物了。

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  一条鲈鱼画在低音鼓的顶上。

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
  被击中时,鸽子掉进了灌木丛。

10) I did not object to the object.
    我没有以反感为由反对。

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    保险对残疾人无效。

12) There was a row among the boatmen about how to row.
    那里有一行是关于船夫是如何划船的。

13) They were too close to the door to close it.
    对关门而言他们离门太近了。

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    有钱能使鬼推磨。

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    一位女裁缝和一个缝纫师掉进了下阴沟。

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
   为了方便种植,农夫教他的大母猪肥田。

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    对风帆来说风太大了。

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    当看见画上的破缝,我流下了眼泪。

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

为了一系列测验我不得征服这门学科。

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 
    我怎么能对我最亲密的朋友透露这个（这件事）?

二、疑问：

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

让我们面对现实吧,英语是一种疯狂的语言。鸡蛋里没有茄子,汉堡包里也没有火腿;凤梨里也没有苹果和松木。

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

英国松饼不是在英国发明，炸薯条也不在法国发明。甜品是糖果而杂碎不是甜的,它们是肉。

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

我们（往往）对英语想当然。但如果我们探索它的悖论,我们发现英语中捉摸不定的东西能够慢慢起作用,拳击环是方的，而且豚鼠既不是来自几内亚也不是一头猪。

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

而且为什么作家是writers，手指不是fing而是fingers,杂货商不是groce而是grocers，还有锤子不是ham而是hammers?如果tooth这个词的复数形式是teeth,那为什么booth的复数不是beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

一只鹅是One goose,2只鹅是2 geese。那么一只驼鹿是one moose、那么2只驼鹿是2 meese?一个指数是One index,那么2个指数是2 indices?它看起来不是疯狂的吗，你可以弄砸但不能修改?如果你有一堆零碎那么哪怕只能够摆脱其中之一,你怎么说?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

如果老师教过,为什么没有牧师不是praught?如果一个素食主义者吃蔬菜,人道主义吃什么?有时我认为所有的英语演讲者们应该致力于为口语疯子提供避难。人们是用什么语言在一个游戏里背诵或者说在一个朗诵会里玩?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

通过卡车运送，通过船发送货物?如果鼻子能跑，那么脚可以闻?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

a slim chance怎么能够与a fat chance是相同的意思,而一个聪明的男人和一个自作聪明的人是对立的吗?你不得不对一种语言的这样独特的疯狂惊叹, 当你填写一个表格的时候,这时它能让你（气得）烧房子直至它被烧毁,警报响起。

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

英语是由人发明的,而不是电脑,它反映了人类的创造力,这当然不是一个种族。这就是为什么当星星出来the stars are out,他们是看得见的visible,而当灯灭时候the lights are out,它们是看不见的invisible。

三、关于UP：

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is'UP.'

这里有一个两个字母的词，它也许比其他任何其他两个字母的词更有意义,那就是“UP”。

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

很容易理解UP了,这意味着朝向天空或在顶部,但是当我们在早晨醒来,为什么我们wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

在会议上,为什么一个话题出来了?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

为什么我们大声讲是speak UP，为什么官员打算选举是UP for election，为什么秘书写出一个报告是write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

我们给我们的朋友们打电话。

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

还有，我们用它来点亮一个房间是brighten UP a room,而擦亮银器是polish UP the silver;我们热剩菜是warm UP the leftovers，打扫厨房是clean UP the kitchen。

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

我们把房子锁上是lock UP the house，一些人修理旧汽车是fix UP the old car。

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

有时候小单词有真正的特殊意义。

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

挑起纠纷是stir UP trouble,排队是line UP,激起食欲是work UP an appetite,想出借口是think UP excuses。

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

穿是一回事,打扮是另一回事。

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

一个排水沟必须打通,因为它不流了。

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
我们商店上午开门（营业），晚上打烊。

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

我们似乎相当玩得拢（谈得来）!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

要了解正确使用UP的知识,在字典里查一下这个单词。

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

在一个书桌大小的词典,它几乎占了近1/4th的页面,总共是大约30个定义。

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

如果你胜任的话,你或许会尝试建立一个UP的许多使用方法的列表。

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

它会占用你大量的时间,但是如果你不放弃,你或许最终能获得一百或更多。

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

当看起来要下雨的时候,我们说天灰蒙蒙的。

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

当太阳出来的时候,我们说天晴朗起来了。

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

下雨的时候,它弄湿地面，常常把东西弄的乱七八糟的。

When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry UP.

当一段时间不下雨,东西都干了。

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP,
so.......it is time to shut UP!
Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.

可以一直继续下去,但我要结束它,

现在我的时间到了,

所以.......是时候闭嘴!

现在轮到你你处理这些邮件。

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?
附言：-为什么 “Buick” 不与“quick”押韵?