第四章 叮当兄和叮当弟

 

他们俩站在一棵树底下，互相用一只胳膊搂着对方的脖子，爱丽丝一下子就看出哪个是哪个了，因为一个的衣领上绣着个“兄”字，另一个衣领上绣着个“弟”字。“我猜想他们各自衣领后面一定都绣着‘叮当’二字。”她自言自语地说道。

他们一动也不动地站那里，她几乎忘了他们是活的了，她正想去看看他们俩的衣领后面上是不是有“叮当”二字，突然那个印有“兄”字的说起话来了，把她吓了一跳。

“如果你认为我们是蜡人儿，”他说道，“那你就应该付钱，你知道的。蜡人儿不是做来给白看的，决不是的！”

“要反过来说，”那个印有“弟”字的接着说道，“如果你认为我们是活的，你就应该说话。”

“我真的很抱歉，”爱丽丝只好说道；因为她脑海里不停地响起了那首老歌儿的歌词，好象是钟的嘀答嘀答声，她差点儿把歌词全都念出声来了：——

 

“那叮当兄和那叮当弟

说好了就要打一架；

因为叮当兄说叮当弟

弄坏了他的新唢呐！

 

突然飞来一只怪老鸦，

黑得象一只焦油桶；

吓得两英雄连滚带爬，

把争吵忘了个精光。”

“我知道你在想什么，”叮当兄说道；“但是那不对，决不是的。”

“要反过来说，”叮当弟接着说道，“如果对，就可能对；假如对，就定会对；但是既然不对，就不对。这是逻辑。”

“我刚才是在想呀，”爱丽丝很有礼貌地说道，“最好走哪条路才能走出这林子：因为天已经这么黑了。请你们能告诉我，好吗？”

但是那两个矮胖子只是互相对视着那么嘻笑。

他们那模样活象一对小学生，爱丽丝情不自禁地指着叮当兄，就喊了一声“老大！”

“决不是的，”叮当兄轻快地喊道，然后就叭嗒一声把嘴闭紧了。

“老二！”爱丽丝说道，一边指着叮当弟，尽管她知道他一定会大喝一声“要反过来说！”他果然那么说了。

“你开始就错了！”叮当兄嚷道。“看望人家时，应该先说声‘你好吗？’再跟人家握手！”说到这里，他们弟兄俩互相搂抱着，然后把那空着的两只手伸出来跟她握手。

爱丽丝不知道该跟哪一个先握手，怕另一个会不高兴；所以她想了一个最好的办法，就同时握住他们两人的手，过一会儿，他们就围成了一个圈儿，手挽着手跳起舞来了。这似乎是很自然的（她后来回想时这么说），而且她听到奏乐声时也不感到奇怪：那音乐好象是从他们头顶上的树间发出来的，那声音（她也不知道）是树枝擦树枝发出来的，就象琴弦擦琴身那样，还是怎么的。

“不过那真是怪怪的，”（爱丽丝后来在给她姐姐讲这个故事时这样说道），“我不知不觉地唱起了‘我们围着桑树丛跳舞’的歌儿来。我也不知道自己是什么时候开始唱的，只觉得好象已经唱了很长时间了！”

另外两个跳舞的都很胖，所以很快就喘不过气来了。“一支舞转四圈就足够了。”叮当兄喘着气说道，于是他们就突然停了下来，象突然开始时一样：同时那音乐也停止了。

他们放开了爱丽丝的手，并且站在那里看着她好一阵子：这一停确实怪尴尬的，爱丽丝也不知道该怎样跟刚才一起跳舞的人们开口说点什么。“现在再也不能问‘你好吗？’了，”她自言自语道，“我们似乎早已问候过了。”

“我希望你们不会太累吧？”她终于问道。

“决不是的。非常谢谢你关心问起，”叮当兄说道。

“真是非常感激，”叮当弟也说道。“你喜欢诗歌吗？”

“是的，满喜欢的——有些诗，”爱丽丝吞吞吐吐地说道。“请你告诉我哪条路是走出这林子去的？”

“我该给她背哪一首呢？”叮当弟说道，一双很严肃的眼睛转过来瞧着叮当兄，一点也不理会爱丽丝的问话。

“《海象和木匠》那首最长，”叮当兄答道，并亲热地把弟弟拥抱了一下。

叮当弟就马上开始念道：

 

“太阳照在——”

 

这时，爱丽丝就鼓起勇气打断了他的话。“要是这首诗很长，”她尽可能有礼貌地说道，“还是劳烦你先告诉我哪条路——”

那叮当弟只是温和地微笑着，就又开始背诵了起来：

 

“太阳照耀在大海上，

用尽全力在照耀：

他千方百计要装点

平和亮丽的浪涛——

真蹊跷，因为半夜里

哪来日光当空照。

 

那月亮见了绷着脸，

因为她认为太阳

已经忙了整个白天，

多管闲事不应当——

‘他太无礼啦，’她说道，

‘还来捣乱太猖狂！’

 

大海潮水汪洋连天，

沙滩干得满裂痕。

你看不到一丝云彩，

因为空中本无云。

没有鸟儿飞过头顶——

因为原本没飞禽。

 

海象和木匠他们俩

一同散步到海边；

看见了那么多沙子，

不由得泪流满面：

‘若把这清除掉，’他们说，

 ‘那真是功德齐天！’

 

‘七个女工七个扫把

扫上半年扫不停，

你想想看，’海象说道，

‘她们能否扫得清？’

木匠流着眼泪答道，

‘我恐怕此事难行。’

 

‘牡蛎们呀，’海象说道，

‘来跟我们散步去！

悠闲走走，开心谈谈，

沿着海滩莫犹豫，

我们俩只有四只手，

能挽四个没多余。’

 

老牡蛎对他瞪眼看，

只是不说一句话；

老牡蛎心忧直摇头，

又把眼睛溜溜眨——

他意思是想说自己

不愿离开牡蛎家。

 

四只小牡蛎忙赶来，

渴望要来凑热闹：

他们刷外套洗小脸，

鞋子擦得霞光照——

奇了怪，因为都知道，

他们个个没有脚。

 

另四只跟在他们后，

又在后面来两对；

接二连三没完没了，

越来越多紧相随。

他们跳过滔天白浪，

爬上海岸不后退。

 

附录：原文

 

Chapter IV: Tweedledum and Tweedledee

 

They were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other's neck, and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of them had 'DUM' embroidered on his collar, and the other 'DEE.' 'I suppose they've each got "TWEEDLE" round at the back of the collar,' she said to herself.

They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just looking round to see if the word "TWEEDLE" was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked 'DUM.'

'If you think we're wax-works,' he said, 'you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, nohow!'

'Contrariwise,' added the one marked 'DEE,' 'if you think we're alive, you ought to speak.'

'I'm sure I'm very sorry,' was all Alice could say; for the words of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a clock, and she could hardly help saying them out loud:—

 

'Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

 

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so,

They quite forgot their quarrel.'

 

'I know what you're thinking about,' said Tweedledum: 'but it isn't so, nohow.'

'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'

'I was thinking,' Alice said very politely, 'which is the best way out of this wood: it's getting so dark. Would you tell me, please?'

But the little men only looked at each other and grinned.

They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys, that Alice couldn't help pointing her finger at Tweedledum, and saying 'First Boy!'

'Nohow!' Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up again with a snap.

'Next Boy!' said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt quite certain he would only shout out 'Contrariwise!' and so he did.

'You've been wrong!' cried Tweedledum. 'The first thing in a visit is to say "How d'ye do?" and shake hands!' And here the two brothers gave each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands that were free, to shake hands with her.

Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear of hurting the other one's feelings; so, as the best way out of the difficulty, she took hold of both hands at once: the next moment they were dancing round in a ring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered afterwards), and she was not even surprised to hear music playing: it seemed to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was done (as well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing one across the other, like fiddles and fiddle-sticks.

'But it certainly WAS funny,' (Alice said afterwards, when she was telling her sister the history of all this,) 'to find myself singing "HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH." I don't know when I began it, but somehow I felt as if I'd been singing it a long long time!'

The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out of breath. 'Four times round is enough for one dance,' Tweedledum panted out, and they left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped at the same moment.

Then they let go of Alice's hands, and stood looking at her for a minute: there was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn't know how to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. 'It would never do to say "How d'ye do?"

NOW,' she said to herself: 'we seem to have got beyond that, somehow!'

'I hope you're not much tired?' she said at last.

'Nohow. And thank you VERY much for asking,' said Tweedledum.

'So much obliged!' added Tweedledee. 'You like poetry?'

'Ye-es, pretty well—SOME poetry,' Alice said doubtfully. 'Would you tell me which road leads out of the wood?'

'What shall I repeat to her?' said Tweedledee, looking round at Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice's question.

'"THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER" is the longest,' Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug.

Tweedledee began instantly:

 

The sun was shining—'

 

Here Alice ventured to interrupt him. 'If it's VERY long,' she said, as politely as she could, 'would you please tell me first which road—'

Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

 

The sun was shining on the sea,

Shining with all his might:

He did his very best to make

The billows smooth and bright—

And this was odd, because it was

The middle of the night.

 

The moon was shining sulkily,

Because she thought the sun

Had got no business to be there

After the day was done—

It's very rude of him," she said,

To come and spoil the fun!"

 

The sea was wet as wet could be,

The sands were dry as dry.

You could not see a cloud, because

No cloud was in the sky:

No birds were flying over head—

There were no birds to fly.

 

The Walrus and the Carpenter

Were walking close at hand;

They wept like anything to see

Such quantities of sand:

If this were only cleared away,"

They said, "it WOULD be grand!"

 

If seven maids with seven mops

Swept it for half a year,

Do you suppose," the Walrus said,

That they could get it clear?"

I doubt it," said the Carpenter,

And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"

The Walrus did beseech.

"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

Along the briny beach:

We cannot do with more than four,

To give a hand to each."

 

The eldest Oyster looked at him.

But never a word he said:

The eldest Oyster winked his eye,

And shook his heavy head—

Meaning to say he did not choose

To leave the oyster-bed.

 

But four young oysters hurried up,

All eager for the treat:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat—

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn't any feet.

 

Four other Oysters followed them,

And yet another four;

And thick and fast they came at last,

And more, and more, and more—

All hopping through the frothy waves,

And scrambling to the shore.