今天容我偷懒一下下吧。。。很久以前翻译的一篇文章，原文在这里http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/are-you-ready-marriage

Are You Ready for Marriage? 

你预备好进入婚姻了吗？

By Debra K Fileta May 20, 2015

9 ways to prepare for marriagewhile you’re still single 9项给单身人士的自测指标

Often, in the pursuit of love,we get so caught up trying to find the right person, that we end up losingourselves. 通常在寻找真爱的过程当中，我们容易受限于一定要找到那个对的人。

But just as important as it isto find someone who has the qualities we want, it’s important to take some timeto look inward, making sure that we are meeting the very standards we arelooking for in a  partner. 但实际上，与其寻找一个各项都符合我们标准的人，不如首先确认我们是否具备那些我们期待我们的未来配偶所具备的品质。

After all, if you're going tohave a "list" of qualities you want in a partner, then you shouldalso have a corresponding list of qualities you want to exhibit. It seemsobvious, but too often, we hold higher expectations for a potential spouse thanfor ourselves. 不管怎么说，如果你要为未来的另一半的品质列出一张清单的话，你也同样应该列出一张对应的你自己的品质的清单。显而易见的，我们对别人的期待往往比对自己的期待要高得多得多。

So what does it take to become"marriage material"?

那么，怎么才能让自己成为“适婚的对象”呢？

Here are a few characteristicsto consider. Obviously, these are qualities we should continue to strive forlong after we're married—and it's not like we'll master them 100 percent of thetime—but the process starts now, as we ask God to shape us into who He wants usto be.  这有一些可以衡量的特点。很明显的，对这些适婚品质的期待在婚后同样会存在，与其我们费尽心思100%的时间都来操控它们，不如求问神他想要我们彼此成为怎样的人。 

1. Root Yourself in Faith 将自己扎根在信心当中

There is nothing more vital tothe lifeline of a healthy person than being rooted in relationship with Jesus.Through this relationship, we learn what it means to really love, and we areenabled to pour that same kind of love into our romantic relationships, aswell.  这个世界上再没有比跟上帝建立一个稳固的关系对一辈子保持身心健康更关键的事情了。通过与上帝的关系，我们认识到什么是真正的爱，我们也因此才有能力去在我们的恋爱关系当中给予对方真正的爱。

Don’t ever neglect your faiththrough the process of dating, because it’s the most important aspect toachieving a rich and meaningful love life. 哪怕在约会当中也不要忘了你的信仰，因为它是获得一个丰盛和有意义的爱的人生的很重要的因素。 

2. Take Time to Look Inward  花时间来省察自己的内心

The only way to know what you want is to know who you are. 只有知道你自己是谁你才能了解自己想要什么。

Self-awareness is such a crucial aspect to being ready for a healthy andlong-lasting relationship, because you are 50 percent of your futurerelationship. Knowing your strengths, your weakness, your struggles, yourtalents and your flaws has everything to do with the health of your futurerelationship—because healthy people attract healthy relationships.正确的自我认知是一段健康和长远的关系的关键，因为你是两人关系中的一员。知道你的强处，软弱，你的挣扎，能力和弱点决定了你未来的两性关系的健康程度——因为健康的关系来自身心健康的人。

Become “marriage material” by taking the time to look inward. Deal withyour baggage, and strive to become the best version of yourself. 通过时常省察自己的内心来让自己成为适婚对象。面对你的过去，每天努力让自己成为最好的自己。

3. Deal With Your Insecurities  直面你的不安全感

It is said that a person’s level of security and confidence is actuallymore attractive to the opposite sex than their physical appearance. A person ofconfidence knows their value is not rooted in their relationship status, butrather, their identity in Christ. People of confidence are enabled to love outof their desire to give, rather than simply out of their desire to get. 据说一个人的内心的安全感和自信的程度对异性的吸引力要超过外表的吸引力。一个自信的人知道他的价值不取决于恋爱关系的成败，而是他们在基督里面的真正身份。一个充满自信的人，他能够在给予中爱而不是在索取中爱。 

4. Work on Growing in Integrity  持续的来培养正直道义的品质

Honesty, loyalty, respect, purity—living a life of integrity means weresolve to develop the qualities of godliness in our lives. 过一个有道义的人生，意味着我们要来陶造我们生命当中那来自于神的美好品质，譬如说，诚实，忠诚，尊重，纯洁。

Integrity is something that begins long before we’ve entered arelationship, and it has everything to do with how we act and interact with thepeople God has placed in our lives here and now. 讲道义是远在我们步入一段关系之前就存在的东西，它决定着我们怎样与神现在与将来放在我们生命当中的人打交道。 

5. Take Responsibility for Your Life  为你自己的人生负责

From how you deal with your finances to how well you keep your word—andeverything in-between—being ready for marriage means you take responsibility for your life. 从如何管理你的财务到如何控制你口中的话语，以及这两个之间的任何事情，你都要学习婚姻意味着夫妻双方都要为各自的人生负责。

To put it simply, part of getting ready for marriage means growing up.And “growing up” has nothing to do with your age. It’s one thing to keep achildlike sense of wonder and adventure, but we live in a culture that allowsus to remain children for far too long, never asking us to plan ahead or setgoals, blaming everyone else instead of owning up to our life choices andresponsibilities.简单说来，预备好进入婚姻意味着心智的长大与成熟。而这与年龄无关。保持冒险的童心是一回事，但往往我们的社会过于纵容我们的孩子气，从未要求我们未雨绸缪或设立目标，在我们的人生抉择和责任上没有主人翁的精神反而动则把责任归咎于别人。

Recognize your role in your life and in your relationships by learningto grow up and take action. When you are responsible with your life, you willalso be responsible with your spouse’s heart. 认识到你在你的人生以及你的人际关系中所扮演的角色能帮助你的心智成熟。当你为你的人生负责的时候，你也能为你的配偶的心负责。 

6. Learn to Commit 学会委身／承担责任

We live in a generation that’s frequently afraid of commitment.From choosing a career to making plans for a Friday night, our culturetends to live paralyzed by fear rather than take steps of faith and move intoaction. 我们生活在一个害怕负责任的世代。 无论是择业还是制定周末的计划，我们的社会被畏首畏尾的心理所辖制，缺乏信心和付诸实际行动的勇气。

Take a look at your life and ask yourself this: what has been your trackrecord when it comes to the area of commitment? What fears, insecurities andanxieties have been holding you back from living your life and makingcommitments? To become ready for marriage, it’s important to be a person that’sdriven by faith, not by fear. 对照你的人生问你自己这样一个问题：你曾经做过怎样的委身或承诺？怎样的恐惧，不安全感和焦虑使得你无法过一个勇于承担责任的人生？对一个要步入婚姻的人来说，由信心来主导而不是被恐惧所牵引是很重要的。

7. Develop Significant Friendships 建立深厚的友谊

A person who is marriage material recognizes that there is so much valuein relationships—above and beyond romantic ones. Healthy people have learned theart of making deep friendships, learning from wise mentors and discipling thosewho are in need of direction. 一个适婚的对象会意识到人际关系的价值，远超于男女之间的关系。 通过师从那些睿智的导师以及能够在关键时刻指点方向的人，心智健康的人们已经掌握了建立深厚关系的艺术。

One way to know how someone will engage in a romantic relationship is bytaking a look at how they interact with the people in their lives.

Are your significant relationships marked by drama and conflict or by communicationand respect? Work on nourishing the relationships that God has given you hereand now in order to prepare yourself for life-long love. 一个鉴定一个人在婚姻当中的表现的方法是观察他们在生活中与周围的人相处的能力。你的重要的人际关系是充斥着戏剧化的冲突还是充满了沟通与尊重呢？在步入一辈子的爱的关系之前，首先来学习怎样经营你与周遭的人的关系吧。

8. Build Healthy Habits 培养健康的兴趣爱好

Believe it or not, all the things you struggle with as a single, youwill likely continue to struggle with in your marriage. So there’s no bettertime to better yourself than before marriage. 不管你相信与否，你单身的时候所挣扎的事情，你结婚后还是一样会挣扎。所以没有比单身的时候更好的时机来提升你自己了。

God’s word reminds us that one of the fruits of the Spirit isself-control. What are the areas of your life that are in need of someself-control? Your spending habits? Your emotional world? Your sexualstruggles? Your leisure activities? How are you spending the precious minutesof your life, and are you building habits that will benefit your futuremarriage or hang-ups that will poison it? 神的话提醒我们圣灵所结的果子之一是自制力。你生命当中有哪些领域是需要自制力的？你花钱的习惯？你的情绪世界？你的两性关系的挣扎？你现在培养的一些兴趣将来是会造福还是毒害你的婚姻？ 

9. Learn to Communicate in Healthy Ways 学习健康的沟通方式

The truth is, marriage is a life-long conversation. But so many of us gointo it without any knowledge of how to converse or manage conflict. We holdour feelings in, give the cold shoulder or spew venomous words when we’re angryand upset. We don’t know how to recognize our feelings, much less share themwith someone else. 婚姻本质上是一个长达一辈子的对话。但我们很多人在还没有学会怎样面对或化解冲突的时候就稀里糊涂的步入婚姻。我们隐藏自己的真实感觉，冷战，或是在生气或沮丧的时候大肆的扔给对方伤人的话语。我们不知道如何识别我们的情绪，更不用说与对方分享。 

But learning how to communicate in a healthy way is essential for allareas of life, especially marriage. What is your communication bent? Are you apassive, aggressive or assertive communicator? Are you superficial in yourconversation, or do you have the skills to go deep? 学习如何健康的沟通不仅仅对婚姻，对我们人生的每一层面都是极其关键的。你的沟通的风格是怎样的？你是一个被动的，激进的，还是强势的沟通者？你的谈话都浮于表面还是可以很深入？

Here’s the thing about having a healthy marriage: It starts long beforethe marriage begins. 以上是为预备一个健康的婚姻的指南，这些是在你步入婚姻之前早早就可以着手准备的。

As you're thinking through the high standards you have for a potentialspouse, take inventory of your life and ask yourself if you’re learning andgrowing in the qualities you have on your "list." Ask God to grow andmature you in faith and other areas, regardless of your relationship status. 当你在考量你为未来伴侣所列出的要求的时候，也请审视一下你的人生以及省察自己是否在向那些要求和条件上不断迈进。不论单身还是已婚，你都可以祈求神来帮助你在信心上和你生命的其他方面上成长和成熟。

材料：绿豆一袋 450g，海带 100g ，红糖50g

做法：1. 绿豆提前泡好，加水煮开后小火煮40分钟

             2. 海带切小块，绿豆小火煮20分钟后加入

             3. 之前打了豆浆我还加了些豆浆和豆渣，没有的可以忽略

             4. 出锅前加入红糖，不要提前加哦，会变酸的：）另外红糖比较不甜，所以喜欢很甜的，可以酌情加些白糖