Are You a Prisoner of Perfection?

Do you struggle for a goal that is beyond your reach?    1    Are you setting yourself up for failure and shame when you can’t achieve the unachievable? Understanding what drives perfectionism is the first step toward releasing this self-created anchor that keeps us stuck.

Shame and fear are often the hidden drivers of perfectionism. We believe that if we can fashion a perfectly polished personality, flash our intelligence, and perfect our humour, then no one can hurt us with criticism and we’ll win respect and approval.

   2    Politicians who display a desperate need to be right and refuse to acknowledge mistakes or uncertainty are often driven by a secret shame. They fear that showing vulnerability (弱点) will expose them to the accusation that they’re weak. They stick to a desire to be right, perfect, and polished, even when it’s obvious that the emperor has no clothes.

Perfectionism keeps us leaning toward the future. We’re constantly evaluating ourselves in order to do better.    3    However, if we can’t relax and enjoy lighter moments, then we become prisoners of our perfectionism. We get painfully self-conscious and take ourselves too seriously. Sadly, we deprive (剥夺) ourselves of the simple pleasure of enjoying the moment and being ourselves.