The most important thing to remember about having a conversation is to make eye contact and use the other person’s name, said Davis. “This makes the other person more likely to remember you.” While the other person is talking, Davis acts as though she is only interested in what they have to say. This philosophy (哲学) of making the other person the center of attention carries over to small talk.

In order to practice talking with people, Davis suggests going to a public place. “It’s always easy to open with something you’ve observed from the other person, like ‘I couldn’t help but notice you’re reading the new John Grisham novel. How is it?’”

For Davis, though, the one thing that has really been a big help to her in becoming an expert conversationalist is confidence in herself. “Some reasons people might be shy about entering into a conversation are that they are uncomfortable with themselves; they feel unworthy in comparison to others in the group; they don’t want to appear stupid, uninformed, or uneducated; or maybe they’ve had a bad experience in public that makes them hesitant (迟疑) now.”