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杂谈 |
语言翻译真的是一件极考验人的事情:把一个文化的产物转到另一个文化里,同时还要将原著在文化里的神韵展现在新的语言里。
所以翻译好的人必须要对两种语言及其背后的文化有很好的了解。
“海上生明月,天涯共此时”这句诗,网上有一个较好的版本是这么翻译的:
As the bright moon shines over the sea,
From far away you share this moment with me.
英翻中里有一个评判标准是“信、达、雅”。反过来,这个标准也同样适用中翻英:“信”,即忠实于原文;“达”,即笔译流畅、译文通顺;“雅”,即文字优雅。
从这几个标准来看,这句诗的翻译非常好:
信:英文极忠实地翻译了原文的意思,没有多没有少。
达:阅读流畅,而且在英文语句中实现了押韵以及遵循了英文诗歌写作的表达方式,例如第一句开头用了“as the...",第二句开头用了“from far away”,而不是You share this moment with me fromt far away这种普通方式 (正常句式应该就是这样,但这么一说的话意味全无)。
雅:文字简洁,词句优雅,读的时候很有节奏感。
给大家看一下整句诗的翻译:
原诗:
海上生明月,
天涯共此时。
情人怨遥夜,
竟夕起相思。
灭烛怜光满,
披衣觉露滋。
不堪盈手赠,
还寝梦佳期。
翻译:
As the bright moon shines over the sea,
From far away you share this moment with me.
For parted lovers lonely nights are the worst to be.
All night long I think of no one but thee.
To enjoy the moon I blow out the candle stick.
Please put on your nightgown for the dew is thick.
I try to offer you the moonlight so hard to pick,
Hoping a reunion in my dream will come quick.
一遍读下来,朗朗上口,意境明晰。可以说这个翻译在传达诗意上是成功的。
当然这句翻译还有提高的空间么?肯定是有的。
对比来看,英文版多了一些婉约,少了一分“相隔万里”的感觉。
例如原诗中的“天涯”,中文读出来时不期然会多一份苍茫感,因为这个词早已被文化赋予了极丰富的含义 -- 那些你以前读过的含有“天涯”语句所带给你的感觉,在读这首诗的时候都会丰富你对这诗句的理解。相反,英文里面只使用了一个简单的“from far away”,这个短语跟“天涯”都不是一个级别的,所以读起来那份厚重感顿然失去。
但也不是说没有好处 - 用一些更通俗易懂的词句,反而能帮助读者理解诗词的意思。说句大实话,中文诗中“不堪盈手赠”这句,答主并没有看懂,最后还是读了“I try to offer you the moonlight so hard to pick,”才明白诗作者张九龄在说啥(古文水平捉急...惭愧啊)。
所以说如果译者在选词造句上用一些美国诗句沿用的经典表达也许能丰富英文版本的含义,但却会增加读者理解的难度,所以更多的情况下,说不上这是好还是坏,只能算作是译者的“取舍”。
说了中翻英,同样也有英翻中的有趣例子。下面这首对coldplay歌曲《Viva La Vida》的两个翻译,可以看出两个作者走了完全相反的路子:
第一个译者追求规整和普世性,
第二个译者却是耍的一手才气,玩得就是一个新颖和惊奇。至于规整和普及,倒是放到了第二位。
所以在“信达雅”上如何评价这两个英译中,大家来说说自己的看法吧,欢迎留言讨论:
第一个翻译:
Viva La Vida
生命万岁
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
大千世界曾由我主宰
巨浪也曾因我之命澎湃
而今我却在黎明独自入眠
在曾属于我的大道落寞徘徊
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
凡人生死曾由我主宰
尽情品味惊恐在死敌瞳孔绽开
欣然倾听百姓高歌喝彩:
“先王亡矣!新王万代!”
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
此刻我手握权位经脉
转瞬才知宫墙深似海
恍然发现我的城池
基底散如盐沙乱似尘埃
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
听那耶路撒冷钟声传来
罗马骑兵歌声震彻山海
担当我的明镜,利剑和盾牌
我的传教士屹立边疆之外
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never,
never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
只因一些缘由我无法释怀
一旦你离开这里便不再,
不再有逆耳忠言存在
而这便是我统治的时代
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
凛冽邪风呼啸袭来
吹散重门使我深陷阴霾
断壁残垣礼崩乐坏
世人不敢相信我已当年不再
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?
起义大军翘首期待
有朝一日我站上断头台
恰如傀儡随吊线寂寞摇摆
悲哉,谁又曾渴望万人摸拜?
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
听那耶路撒冷钟声传来
罗马骑兵歌声震彻山海
担当我的明镜,利剑和盾牌
我的传教士屹立边疆之外
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
只因一些缘由我无法释怀
我亦知天堂之门不会为我敞开
不再有逆耳忠言存在
但这却是我统治的时代
版本二:
I used to rule the world, seas would rise when I gave the word
昔君临天下,令震四海。
Now in the morning I sweep alone, sweep the streets I used to own
今独立空巷,不复荣光。
I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
生死命数,曾主我手。顺昌逆亡,威加八方。
Listen as the crowd would sing:
群臣高呼,庶民齐唱:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"
“先王既逝,新主无疆!”
One minute I held the key, next the walls were closed on me
时权柄在握,一朝囹圄深陷。
And I discovered that my castles stand, upon pillars of salt' pillars of sand
察宫墙连绵,皆立泥丘沙盐。
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
圣城钟鸣,声震苍穹。
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
铁骑战歌,势贯云天。
Be my mirror my sword and shield
铸我明镜,化我盾剑。
My missionaries is in a foreign field
遣我使节,慑服夷边。
For some reason I can't explain
心有所及,力不能辩。
Once you go there was never' never an honest word
自卿既去,再无信言。
That was when I ruled the world
惜哉吾主,此等世面!
It was the wicked and wild wind
凛冽疾风,啸然骤生。
Blew down the doors to let me in
卷叶袭门,相迎吾身。
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
残窗败棂,鼓旧声沉。
People couldn't believe what I'd become
君王末路,天下惊闻。
Revolutionaries wait
举事义军,翘首以盼。
For my head on a silver plate
欲取头颅,血溅银盘。
Just a puppet on a lonely string
恍然梦醒,傀儡线断。
Oh who would ever wanna be king?
谁人可闻,孤王哀叹。
I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
圣城钟鸣,声震苍穹。
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
铁骑战歌,势贯云天。
Be my mirror my sword and shield
铸我明镜,化我盾剑。
My missionaries is in a foreign field
遣我使节,慑服夷边。
For some reason I can't explain
心有所及,力不能辩。
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
了然自知,圣人不怜。(没错,就是这句)
never an honest word
(自卿既去),再无信言。
But that was when I ruled the world
痛哉吾主,此番世面!