Not very often one has a chance to turn to 34, an age that one can still linger at crazy youth life. Although sometimes I do realize that some 'old habit' dies easily. Alcohol is no longer an purpose, but a method. A peaciful night with family sounds more appealing than waking up with hangover after an chaos night.  The sweetness of being shy and awkward in front of a group of strangers is now replaced with eager of taking control and responsibility.

I was looking at the darkness, furious, frustrated and extremely tired. First night of my Easter holiday was spent without any expected quality. I wondered whether it was me or I should blame the phone call.

Since start of this year, I have been through some tough time. The damage of this period of time can be evidenced by a few symptoms, of which sleeplessness was the worst of all. It was a kind of slow disease that invaded into endless nig

    去年MSN上流行在自己的名字后面加上爱中国的字符。爱凑热闹的我也马上改了自己的登陆名，爱中国嘛，舍我其谁？从小就是在红色爱国主义教育中长大，至今也还是身在曹营心在汉。可是加上了爱中国之后，觉得有点别扭，不由得问自己，我真的爱吗？

    爱国者的名字对我来说是伟大而遥远的。作为一个在和平时期，为了看看外面的世界出了国，流连忘返而定居在海外的我，似乎难以担当这样一个称号。而真正的爱国者是在任何时候都抱着报效国家的信念而行动的。

    不错，我的护照还是那个红色的小本本，即使若干年前我已经可以入籍了。这在很多人眼里大概是爱国的证据吧，反之，加入其他国籍便成为了不爱国的理由。可是在我的心里，护照就像户口本一样，是证明持有人已经被居住地的机关接受，可以平等对待，方便行事。未曾动过换护照的念头是因为每年回国探亲方便，现在的永久居民身份也没有什么不便。假若真的需要，换国籍也可。换了国籍的我，应该还是那副模样，黄脸黑发，说着带着东北口音的普通话，吃着三鲜馅的水饺，到哪里都介绍自己是Chinese....所以护照这个理由不够充分。

It is one of 007's movies. The song is classic, by Nancy Sinatra. The main plot is Mr. Bond pretended to be killed then like a magical he lived again so conveniently ruined the enemies. Mr. Bond has lived twice. Nancy was singing: You only live twice, one for yourself, one for your dream.

Being a logical person, I didn't understand the song. How can one live twice, except for James Bond? However somehow I knew it makes perfect sense in a curious way, which hadn't come cross to me. Only recently I found this song is for me.

For almost 10 years, I have lived in another country, another city. Different culture, foreign language is hard start but what makes it difficult is the memory of comfortable home and relaxing life style back the

很多深切的感动起因于偶然事件。对于Edith Piaf的热爱却由一个盗版碟起。

我是一个极其简单粗糙的女人，对于女性经常感到触动的东西我倒是经常感到不耐烦。比如磨磨唧唧的感情故事，比如让很多女人泪流满面地韩剧。连看电影都只看动作，科幻大片或者动画片，对于文艺片一律谢绝。这就是为什么当初玫瑰人生上映的时候，我的一个好朋友建议去看而我支支吾吾的拒绝的原因。

若干个月过后，回国探亲的时候照例去盗版碟集散市场狂扫，背回来一堆好莱坞大片，和老公看得不亦乐乎。一个无聊的晚上，老公加班，我又把自己的宝贝碟片翻出来准备过一个movie night。突然发现玫瑰人生碟片混在了中间。想想这种片子倒是挺适

    我的卫生间墙上有一面镜子，不是一般的镜子，它可以拉近拉远，一面正常一面可以放大。当初为什么安装上它我有点记不清楚了。可能是早上化妆可以看得真切些，眼线画得整齐些。说起画眼线，倒是我的永远的痛，总是里出外进，画了擦，擦了画。几年过去了看我的眼线还只能用模糊逻辑，马马虎虎在眼皮上吧。回到我的化妆镜，当初安装也是为了早上rush hour的时候，避免为了照盥洗池上的镜子而与低头猛刷牙的老公的大脑壳撞到一起，这个镜子的最大好处是可以任意调节角度和远近，老公转到左面，我就把镜子拉到右面，反之亦然。

    就是这个方便极了的镜子让我尴尬极了。诚实点来说，其实不是镜子的问题，而是光线，远近，心情等等。哎，我还是痛快承认了吧，是年纪的问题。我时常想白雪公主的后妈在坚持不懈一边一边问镜子: Mirror mirror on the wall, who in this land is fairest of all? 的时候得到的答案是白雪公主第一，她屈居第二。如果是我，本人也一定相当满意了，毕竟半老徐娘了，怎么能和十几岁的小姑娘比。不过在我反复研究了镜子与光线，距离和卫生