An major part of my life during these ten years was being idiot. While the other was searching for ways of not being idiot. Did I make it? Not yet, but I am on my way to it. Never let others tell me that I cannot do something anymore, just because they cannot do it them selves. Though it is really hard to be whom I believe I should be, I have decided to have a tough try!

by Rainer Maria Rilke

It is good to love, but love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their  forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning time is always a long, secluded time ahead and far on into life, is solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering or uniting with another person ( what would a union be for two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent? ); it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen,to become something in himsel

I came across with an old friend today. A lovely and smart girl I got to know 2 years ago. She lives in Shanghai and is now on business trip here. I felt we were old friends at the first several times we met. I did not got any chance to talk with her much before, but I thought she seemed to have felt the same.

It was good to see her again and this time I left my MSN.

Similar feelings were experienced before. At that moment you might feel right with the one but did not congnize the strong willingness of being together with her/him, untill aparted by space and time. So when you finanlly catch her/him again, you won't let her/him go again.

Like the saying goes 'farewell is the beginning of next gathering'.  How greedy am I not letting go my loved ones!  

Beautiful, fansinating, splendid...   

http://soytuaire.labuat.com/

Soy tu aire
Soy de agua
Hago surcos
Pequeñitos
En la cera
Derretida
De tus ganas
Y voy entrando poco a poco, muy poquito
En tus cosquillas
Me acomodo, te incomodo, pa que rías
Y me cuelo en este enredo sin llamar
Sin avisar
Soy tu aire
Soy tu agua
Te me bebes
Te atraganto
Me respiras
Te salpico
Te me tragas
Y me entretengo, juego un rato en tus recuerdos
Me los pongo en mis enaguas
Hago trizas tus lamentos, creo fantasías locas
Y confundo tu memoria con la punta de mis besos
Soy del aire
Soy del agua
Soy del aire
Soy del agua
Vuelo libre
No me ates
Que me escapo
Entre medio
De tus dedos
Impasible te convi

It was the second person turned to me today for cheering up from feeling down. I am so going to be a cool psychologist someday! haha~

I am so happy that I always know how to cheer other people up and I really enjoy doing so, especially since recently. When I finally found my belief, I began to feel so full of power that I can pull many others around to go forward as well.

The best I got from my MBA education till now is having found a dozen of friends who shared the same confusion, lostness and the painfully yearning for excellence with me, which greatly encouraged me in the process of re-orienting my career path. How amazing!

Refreshed with courages and hope, I feel recharged much more than long before, though sht happens sometimes. Further more, my cheerful spirits and strong mind have started to infect more and more my loved ones, which make me

'Send someone to love me/I need to rest in arms/Keep me safe from harm/in pouring rain

Give me endless summer/Lord I fear the cold/feel I'm getting old/before my time...'

At such a heavy raining dark noon, I am sitting in the office, listening to thunders and music, wondering, 'do I have any kind of belief to get through the uncertain future?'  I used to do. For quite a long period, I believed in pure love (the two-people affection I mean)which made me feel setteled for nearly a decade and it turned out that it does not work any more. For people apart from each other for thousands of miles it's hard to feel the warmth that you expected.

Having been at home alone for two days, I was desperate to grab somebody for a good talk, since sickness made me vulnerable.

When meeting setbacks, I always hope that time can go faster, and when I finally go through I would get stonger. If I can live with myself alone even in hard times, then I won't need anyone else when hard time is over. I do not need anyone else's sympathy. All that I need is encouragement. Do not turn a sympathetic face to me. The one who can comfort my tender heart is not by my side.

'Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get'. I'm fine.

Lavandula angustifolia

First derivatives, second derivatives, integrals, etc., filled my days and nights, delightfully. Since I could hardly find anything to write down, I must have been happy or not upset enough at least. This could be the answer to a friend whose blog has just been shut down by Sohu, weirdly. So let me cherish my still openning blog and doodle down some random words.

Having gotten to know that there was no bonus this year, I felt really upset, but tried hard to cheer myself up before long. Although nearing bankcruptcy, I still believe that I can get it through sooner or later. After all, money is not the toughest problem to figure out. Sometimes I cannot help doing the what-if analysis for the already happened things, which was totally meaningless, and could make me painfully frustrated. To stop torturing myself, work&n

It has been eight years since I was on a merry-go-round last time! Five bucks for each, I ordered my favorate children's song 'Bai Long Ma'!  

It was of great fun to sit on such a tiny little white horse that I had to curled up my legs tightly to keep my feet away from the near floor even when it run the highest. Fortunately, all on horses were big adults, mostly women.

It could be so easy to have fun. I smiled and laughed all way round, proudly and satisfiedly for myself, young and happy innerly. More and more people stopped, looking at the silly me, and intended to have a try themselves. What a lovely ad I was! 

After 'Bai Long Ma', came the 'Dola Ei Mong', another my loved song. We several unknown women laughed. Lights sparkled. Surrounded by skyscrapers, I went up and down on the electric horse as in my child

A violinist without such a great fame as those who can be easily googled out,  gave us a fabulous performance, together with the Troms Strings Orchestra of Norway yesterday evening at the Centenary Hall， Peking University.

For the first time, I got to know the spiccato thing. Really fantastic, hard to express in words, no mention in English words. For those who want to learn more about the spiccato, please listen to the 'La ronde des lutins by Bazzini' in my music box, but imagine the piano into cello, though very hard.

My company said， when listening to a piece of classical music, the details were never important, you understanded it as soon as you felt some emotions, happy or sad. Right. For the first time, when I listened to 'Double concerto for violin and cello' by Antonio Vivaldi, I heard two voices talking to each other as myself talking to a wise man. When came the 'Four