这两个星期，所有与我绝缘6个月的生活方式和状态，又随着那件事的结束全部回来。真是很奇怪，这一切是有一种冥冥中的注定吧。
九人组有了局部的聚会，WH约好了周五碰头，D家又给我留言邀请我去玩，还有，周末马上就要去海陀山了。
LJ说：疯了！没有办法对此作出合理的解释。
anyway, let me die in happiness!

我在想，好逸恶劳，又爱折腾如我，究竟会走上怎样的一条路。

突然变得很有信心，内心的力量很强大。

对于未来的设计变得更加踏实而明朗。

希望难得顺利的自己，在这次被动地选择后，有自己想要的结果。

记住此刻的心情，永远永远不要为了一些无法改变的糟糕事情耽误自己能控制的命运。

 

Listen to me, please.You're like me, a Homo sapiens.A wise human.Life, a miracle in the universe,appeared around dfour billion years ago,and we humans only 200,000 years ago.Yet we have succeeded in disrupting the balance that is so essential to life on Earth. Listen carefully to this extraordinary story, which is yours, and decide what you want to do with it.These are traces of our origins.At the beginning, our planet was no more than a chaos of fire,formed in the wake of its star, the sun.A cloud of agglutinated dust particles,similar to so many

similar clusters in the universe.Yet this was where the miracle of life occurred.Today, life- our lifeis just a link in a chain of innumerable living beings...that have succeeded one another on Earth over nearly four billion years.And even today, new volcanoes continue to sculpt our landscapes. They offer a glimpse of what our Earth was like at its birth?molten rock surging from the depths,solidifying, cracking,blistering or spreading in a thin crust, before falling dormant for a time.These wreaths of smoke curling from the bowels of the Earth...bear witness to the Earth's original atmosphere. An atmosphere devoid of oxygen.

A dense atmosphere,thick with water vapor, full of carbon dioxide.

A furnace.But the Earth had an exceptionalfuture, offered to it by water. At the right distance from the sun?not too far, not too near?the Earth was able to conserve water in liquid form.Water vapor condensed and fell in torrential downpours on Earth,and rivers appeared.The rivers shaped the surface of the Earth,cutting their channels,furrowing out valleys.They ran toward the lowest places on the globe to form the oceans.They tore minerals from the rocks,and gradually the freshwaterof the oceans. became heavy with salt.Water is a vital liquid.It irrigated these sterile expanses.The paths it traced are like the veins of a body,the branches of a tree, the vessels of the sap that it brought to the Earth. Nearly four billion years later,somewhere on Earth

can still be found these works of art,left by the volcanoes' ash, mixed with water from Iceland's glaciers.There they are- matter and water,water and matter soft and hard combined, the crucial alliance shared by every life-form on our planet.Minerals and metals are even older than the Earth. They are stardust.They provide the Earth's colors.Red from iron, black from carbon,blue from copper, yellow from sulfur.Where do we come from?Where did life first spark into being?A miracle of time,primitive life-forms still exist in the globe's hot springs.They give them their colors.They're called archaeobacteria.They all feed off the Earth's heat-

all except the cyanobacteria,or blue-green algae.They alone have the capacity to turn

to the sun to capture its energy.They are a vital ancestor of all yesterday's and today's plant species.These tiny bacteria...and their billions of descendants...changed the destiny of our planet.

They transformed its atmosphere. What happened to the carbon that poisoned the atmosphere?It's still here,imprisoned in the Earth's crust.We can read this chapter of the Earth's history..nowhere better than on the walls of Colorado's Grand Canyon.They reveal nearly two billion years of the Earth's history.Once upon a time, the Grand Canyon was a sea inhabited by microorganisms.They grew their shells by tapping into carbon from the atmosphere...

dissolved in the oceanWhen they died, the shells sank...and accumulated on the seabed.These strata are the product of those billions and billions of shells.Thanks to them, the carbon drained from the atmosphere,and other life-forms could develop.It is life that altered the atmosphere. Plant life fed off the sun's energy, which enabled it to break apart the water molecule...and take the oxygen.And oxygen filled the air.The Earth's water cycle is a process of constant renewal.Waterfalls, water vapor,clouds, rain, springs, rivers, seas, oceans, glaciers.The cycle is never broken.There's always the same quantity of water on Earth。

All the successive species on Earth have drunk the same water.The astonishing matter that is water.One of the most unstable of all.It takes a liquid form as running water,gaseous as vapor...or solid as ice.In Siberia（西伯历亚）, the frozen surfaces of the lakes in winter...contain the traces of the forces that water deploys when it freezes.Lighter than water, the ice floats,rather than sinking to the bottom.It forms a protective mantle against the cold,under which life can go on.The engine of life is linkage.Everything is linked.Nothing is self-sufficient.Water and air are inseparable,united in life and for our life on Earth.Thus, clouds form over the oceans and bring rain to the landmasses ,whose rivers carry water back to the oceans. Sharing is everything.

The green expanse peeking through the clouds is the source of oxygen in the air. Seventy percent of this gas, without which our lungs cannot function, comes from the algae that tint the surface of the oceans.Our Earth relies on a balance in which every being has a role to play and exists only through the existence of another being.

A subtle, fragile harmony that is easily shattered. Thus, coralsare born from the marriage of algae and shells. The Great Barrier Reef（大堡礁）,off the coast of Australia,stretches over 350,000 square kilometers and is home to 1,500 species of fish,4,000 species of mollusks and 400 species of coral.The equilibrium of every ocean depends on these corals.The Earth counts time in billions of years.It took more than four billion years for it to make trees.In the chain of species,trees are a pinnacle,a perfect living sculpture.Trees defy gravity. They are the only natural element in perpetual movement toward the sky. They grow unhurriedly toward the sun that nourishes their foliage.They have inherited from those minuscule cyanobacteria

the power to capture light's energy.They store it and feed off it,turning it into wood and leaves,which then decompose into a mixture of water,mineral, vegetable and living matter.And so, gradually,the soils that are indispensable to life are formed.Soils are the factory of biodiversity.

They are a world of incessant ctivity where microorganisms feed,dig, aerate and transform.They make the humus, the fertile layer to which all life on land is linked.What do we know about life on Earth?How many species are we aware of?

A 10th of them? A hundredth perhaps?What do we know about the bonds that link them?The Earth is a miracle.

Life remains a mystery. Families of animals form, united by customs and rituals that survive today.Some adapt to the nature of their pasture, and their pasture adapts to them. And both gain.

The animal satesits hunger, and the tree can blossom again.

In the great adventure of life on Earth,every species has a role to play,every species has its place.

None is futile or harmful. They all balance out. And that's where you, Homo sapiens- 'wise human' enter the story.

没有像到这一天会这样来了，虽然有过很多设想。很难形容现在的心情，很难洒脱，毕竟曾经有过那么多的期望和愿景。比想象中容易，也比想象中难。好想找个人哭哭。

相比7年前，一切容易多了。成长了。

so, this break is a real break

no tears

tomorrow is another day

mark this date

to memorize those crazy things

i always don't have the luck

maybe i should keep the luck for someone  and something more important

 

you are strong , you are powerful, you are great

 

why people can not hug themselves ? hmmm   tricky~~~

 

ok  good bye     hejda

老二现在是个法制记者，晚上告诉我昆明的城管打死人了，本来这样的新闻我是不会看的，因为太经常了，但因为老二说他刚采访了这个人不久，而且还因此是做了笔录。所以我就耐心看了，很揪心很揪心，想哭，很想很想。

 

老二说：是个可怜的穷人。真的很可怜
他的影像，包括一段偷拍他当我们面指控谁打他的影像我都在。
关键这个人很衰
人太老实了，后来老婆跟人跑了
留下两个孩子一个9岁一个12岁
因为生活所迫才去拉人力三轮，结果就 ·

老二在说这些的时候，我的脑海里完全是浮现了一个弱势的人，老实巴交又可怜巴交地指着那群城管的画面。谁愿意当众这样剥开伤口给人看？活得多没尊严啊？200元，丧了一条命。而现在，上有老，下有小，将来他们怎么办？现在，说什么，人也活不过来了。希望在另外一个世界能获得幸福，忘记这个世界带给他的种种羞辱和痛苦。希望这样的悲剧再少一点。希望他的家人能够多拿点补偿金。

 

这个世界永远不会完美，而我又何其幸运？

 

    昨日20时许，百余人抬着病床和一具尸体堵死了昆明市官渡区关上街道办事处福德片区城管分队的大门，烧起了纸钱。加上围观的群众，现场已达数百人。大批警力赶到现场，事态基本得到控制。截至今日凌晨3点，聚集人员仍未散去。

　　导致这起事件的直接原因是，一个被没收了谋生工具的三轮车夫死了……

　　记者赶往现场，在出租车上便听到出租车司机用对讲机通话，称城管打死了人。走进福德村，人们都在议论此事，好事的人则都赶去看望，附近停满了各种车辆，大批三轮车三三两两地停放着，民警及保安三五成群聚集，提着警棍，严阵以待。

　　靠近该城管分队门口，数百人围在那里，一辆警车靠在边上，几名酒气熏天的男子将警车摇得晃来晃去。
　　福发社区居委会的卷洞大门下，警方已拉起了警戒线，民警站成一排形成了人墙，警戒线内，一张病床上放着死者尸体，上面摆着死者的一些证件，床头积起了厚厚的一层纸钱灰。

　　记者随后来到挂有“官渡区关上街道办事处福德片区城管分队”牌子的房间里欲采访城管人员，但房间内空无一人。门外，一名男子指着天井内没收的一大堆三轮车称，这些都是近段时间没收的，中间蒙着布的那辆就是死者的三轮车，这辆三轮车害了一条命，该男子边说边流泪，旁边则有一女子放声大哭起来。有围观者称，大哭的女子就是死者的妹妹，是死者在昆明唯一的亲人。
　　等客 三轮车被城管没收

　　据死者的妹妹介绍，死者名叫潘怀用，今年37岁，昭通镇雄泼机镇人，因哥哥的妻子跑了，现已不知去向，哥哥有两个孩子，还有父母，家里负担比较重，没有办法，只好来昆明拉三轮车。据她了解，27日那天，哥哥在德盛宾馆门口等客人，几名城管人员过来，要没收哥哥的三轮车，哥哥骑着车便跑，几名城管人员当即追上去，对哥哥就是一阵拳打脚踢，硬将哥哥的三轮车没收了。

　　她说，当时还有媒体记者来采访过她哥哥。

　　她哥哥就靠拉三轮车谋生，没有车子就断了谋生的路，第二天去城管队讨要被没收的车子，却再次遭到城管人员的围打。
　　讨车 目击者称“他被围殴”

　　目击此事的王耀明称，他是四川人，和死者不是亲戚朋友关系，也不认识他，但此事，他愿意作证，死者妹妹说的每句话都是真的。他说，当天，他拉妻子到福德社区，停在路边，没想到车子也被收了，他去取车，城管人员要他交200元才让他拉走车子，他认为城管要价太高，而且没有任何收据，连白条都没有一张，没有同意。当时是12时，正好遇到潘怀用去取车，潘怀用没有200元钱，但硬要将车子骑走，随后，四五人冲上去对他就是一阵拳打脚踢，这些人有的穿着手臂上印着城管字样的制服，有的穿着便服，旁边没有动手围观的城管人员还有四五个。潘怀用被打得毫无还手之力，倒地之后，这些人还对着他的头部用脚猛踢，他听到潘怀用被踢得大叫。

　　抢救 房东发现为时已晚

　　潘怀用的妹妹说，哥哥被城管人员再次打了之后，没有取着车子，也不知道是如何回到出租房的，哥哥回到出租房便睡了，没钱，没有去医院治疗。

　　昨日16时许，她接到哥哥房东的电话，称平时哥哥早出去干活了，昨日一直没有起床，床东感到奇怪，喊了几声没有动静，便推开哥哥的房门，哥哥连话都不会说了，房东在哥哥的电话上翻到了她的电话号码，便给她打了电话。

　　她立即和丈夫一起赶到了哥哥的住处，房间里的哥哥呼吸很弱，连说话的力气都没有。她丈夫背着哥哥，赶到了附近的官渡区卫生服务中心，医生紧急救治，一个多小时的抢救没能留住哥哥的生命，他离开了人世。为了找城管讨个公道，亲友们便将死者尸体抬到了这里。

　　医院保安 十余男子连病床一起抬走

　　官渡区卫生服务中心保安介绍，当时人死了没过多久，上百名男子便涌进了病房，卫生中心当时秩序十分混乱，有哭的，有喊的，这样的场面他还是第一次见到。他只听到人们说要把死者抬到城管门口去，十余名男子冲上去，连病床尸体一起，浩浩荡荡地抬着走了。顺着大街，哭喊声传到了很远的地方。沿路围观的人越来越多，一下子就有了五六百人跟着去看热闹。关于患者是哪些部位受伤，是什么伤，用了些什么药，该中心开药处的女士称，她只负责照方抓药，也记不起都用了哪些药，而该处值班的医生则称，他刚来上班，具体情况不清楚。

　　卫生执法监督局 调查结果会第一时间公布
　　当死者家属前去开死亡证明时，官渡区卫生服务中心院长介绍，他们不能开死亡方面的证明，只可以开病情证明，现在相关部门正在调查了解情况，让死者家属过几天再来。

　　院长告诉记者，他们还在向相关部门汇报病情，当时，病人来了，病情较为严重，他们立即进行了急救，进行胸外心脏按压，但病人还是没有抢救过来。昨日23时30分，记者在该中心办公室看到，官渡区卫生执法监督局人员正在进行相关调查，执法监督局工作人员莫绍华称，调查结果会在第一时间向社会公布。

　　福德派出所 “城管打死人”目前只是单方说法

　　据福德派出所值班民警介绍，昨日发生了这么大的事，他们所30余名民警赶到现场维持秩序，只留下两人在派出所值班。目前，事态基本得到控制，他们正在增调人员，赶往现场支援。这名民警称，家属的心情可以理解，但这样的做法肯定是不对的。针对家属关于城管打死人的说法，该值班民警称，那只是家属的单方面说法，要等调查结果出来才能定论。

　　数字城管中心 相关领导现场调查

　　今日凌晨1时50分，记者试图采访该城管队，但无法取得联系。随后，记者拨打了昆明市官渡区数字城管中心的电话，08号工作人员说，他们也听到了“城管打死人”这种说法，相关领导已经赶到现场进行了调查和处理。该工作人员称，此事估计和该队临时招聘的城管队员有关，但具体是怎么回事，要等警方的调查结果出来后才能定论。

    赖床的时候，顺手拿起《飞鸟集》，不知道有多久没看过这样的文字了，工作以后偶尔看书，还都是为了一些功利的原因，为了考试，为了写稿子，而现在，即便为了功利的原因也不愿意多翻一页书。有这样的感慨，是因为书末的一篇附录，来自徐志摩的演讲稿。以前觉得徐志摩没什么，即便是《再别康桥》也只是有意境的优美，没有很多大家那样的大情怀。看了这篇名为《泰戈尔》的演讲稿，我能感受到他当时的激情飞扬，愤怒、惋惜、遗憾、愧疚，那些文字和情绪在我的心里掀起了大波澜。希望将来能有更多的时间和心情去多看看这样的文字。

 

    昨前两天，去拓展训练了，有些辛苦是因为睡眠不足引起的，但重点是——玩得很开心，开心是因为投入。开始在想，我比很多人更投入是不是因为我喜欢竞争，喜欢赢，甚至有点隐隐担心自己的争强好胜。可是在破冰环节，我们队的结果是倒数第二，我仍然很开心，完全没有遗憾、郁闷之类的负面情绪，我才明白，自己享受的是一个团队为了一个目标共同努力的过程。结果并不重要。我喜欢这样的画面，就像大学时，印象最深刻的是我们宿舍在篮球比赛、宿舍文化评比的时候大家齐心协力的画面，那时候甚至看到大家的脸都有感动到想哭的冲动。于是，我释然了，欣然了。

 

    在T向我转达在饭桌上听到有人对我的奚落时，我以为自己会很愤怒。但事实证明，我没有因此而真正生气，将来也不会因此而对她有什么记恨，如果说有什么不良反应的话，就是对她们的鄙视。永远在抱怨别人，永远觉得自己尊贵，永远无所顾忌，永远想成为焦点，也许还把不尊重长辈和上级当作是怀着一颗人人平等的心？我实在不敢苟同这样的修养。我问T，我是否会经常抱怨，T说：不会。于是我又释然了。我偶尔说脏话，偶尔情绪失控，偶尔有点小心眼，经常自以为是，经常说话不经过大脑，永远不爱听批评，而且是非常不愿意。但是我常常反省，任何问题，绝少在别人身上找原因，更多是发现自己的问题，尽管基本上都是死鸭子嘴硬，决不道歉。也许这是为什么我那么多毛病还能有很好很好的朋友的原因吧。谢谢那些能够容忍我的毛病，又能理解我的人们。

 

反省结束，成绩优秀，哈哈，我又开始自大了呢~

 

不知道现在自己是在干什么，人和人之间如果没有信任了会变得很累，现在这样做有点自找麻烦的嫌疑，可是又总想抓住那根稻草，希望是希望。

对于昨天所发生的，有些后怕。但愿一切都只是自己的多疑。

 

keith大叔说，“只要你觉得开心”。我不知道自己现在做出这个决定之后是否开心，但我确定的是，只是放慢了走到痛苦的脚步而已，而这一天早晚要来，一切ugly truth 早晚要面对。但愿世事变化，等走到的时候已经不痛了。多长几个心眼，少给别人伤害自己的机会。feel free!

 

纠结于这样的小情绪。。。。。。。。。。

would you know my name

if i saw you in heaven

would it be the same

would you feel the same
if i saw you in heaven
i must be strong and carry on
cause i know i don't belong here in heaven

would you hold my hand
if i saw you in heaven
would you help me stand
if i saw you in heaven
i'll find my way through night and day
cause i know i just can't stay here in heaven

time can bring you down,time can bend your knees
time can break your heart, have you begging please

beyond the door there's peace i'm sure
and i know there'll be no more tears in heaven

would you know my name
if i saw you in heaven
i must be strong and carry on
cause i know i don't belong here in heaven

我回信了，呵呵，我承认我耍了个小心机。也许弄巧成拙。不管了，老天来决定。