Don't know why I haven't posted anything recently, just been a bit lazy I guess. Finishing that last essay was a nightmare, I only finished it because my teacher said I should enter it for the writing competition at my school. My writing really does suck, it takes so long, and it really hurts my head doing it. There's nothing for it, can't avoid it just because I don't like doing it.
I find it annoying learning Chinese. Never being happy with yourself is necessary, as only then do you have motivation to improve. Problem is that whatever progress I make I can never be happy, never have that feeling of having arrived at the place that I set out to get to, never having that feeling that Lowry did when he sat lost in thought by the sea. But then again I guess he fought for over 50 years to have the privilege of doing that. I have more 奋斗ing to be doing.
Going to class is ok, but a constant battle of wills, a battle of cultures I guess. Bringing my way of learning into a class

一位不同寻常的画家

Laurence S. Lowry

'I am not an artist. I am a man who paints.'

“我不是个艺术家，我只是个画画的人”

 

作为一个漂泊的人，我应该早就习惯了搬家的感觉。搬家带来的郁闷与不明方向两种感觉总是会让我的心情不稳定，不平衡。用一个比喻来解释: 比较长时间住在一个地方,你逐渐融入那个地方的故事, 离开就像小说里面的一张页被撕掉。后来夹在一本新书让你生活的故事不通顺。。

 

搬家总是让我追问生活基本的意义（或者说让我追问生活是不是有一个基本的意义）。二月回衡阳，看来六个月带来的变化很大。住那儿的那两年好像不算什么，只有在我脑海里留下的回忆。 现在在某些地方农民与土地的关系还没有被断绝了，这块土地是他们生命中不变化的元素，不变化的背景.

I have a lot of stuff i want to write here, but my Chinese really isn't good enough yet. I'm determined not to have more English on here than Chinese. I've given up writing for tonight, too tired. I'll have another go tomorrow, and hopefully post something resembling sense tomorrow

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