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Related article: 52 Panhead 38 '52 Panhead Chapter 38 "So how are
the tomatoes doing? You're watering them, right?" Callie and I
spoke every week, and every week she grilled me on how the garden
was coming along."Yes, I'm watering them, whenever it doesn't
rain," I assured her, as I stood in the middle of the garden on
Wednesday evening, surrounded by lush foliage and ripening produce.
"Come see for yourself, if you don't believe me.""Good idea... how
about Saturday?""Only if you arrive with a pan or two of cinnamon
rolls. I can't tell you how much I miss those rolls.""Deal," she
Pthc Lolita Top laughed. "I'll be there in time for
lunch."So Evan and I spent that first Saturday morning of July
sprucing up the place. If anyone had told me five years ago that
I'd think pulling weeds was an acceptable way to pass a Saturday
morning, I'd have said they were out of their fucking mind, but
there I was, plucking uninvited guests from between the garden
rows. The cold beer in my other hand probably made the job a little
more tolerable. Yeah, I know -- drinking before noon is the road to
ruin. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Evan had swept the
porch and then moved on to mowing the lawn, striding back and forth
behind the ancient mower Sharon had left in the barn. He was
wearing only baggy old shorts, his body pale in the strong morning
sun, and I stopped for a moment to watch the long lean muscles of
his back shift as he wrestled the mower along. When he turned
around at the far side of the lawn, he glanced up, saw me watching
him, and grinned at me. It was impossible to keep from grinning
back.Ever since our walk through the woods last week, when Evan had
asked me when I'd begin to believe in us, I'd been thinking about
it, wondering why I didn't. At first, I had told myself that I did,
but laying in bed, unable to sleep as Evan snored softly next to
me, I knew he was right -- I wasn't really convinced that we'd be
together until one of us died and - I wasn't sure why. Was it the
lack of a recognized ceremony? Was I so hung up on society's
rituals that not being able to get married made me view our
relationship as second-class, inherently less stable in some way?
No, I didn't really buy that, either. With or without the
sanctified words and the stamped document, I was pretty damn sure
that a relationship was what you made of it. The two people
involved determined the course it would take - good, bad or
indifferent. No, in my more honest moments, I knew that the problem
lay with me and my sense of being inferior to Evan. Breeding,
education, financial potential -- I lacked Evan's advantages in all
those areas. Evan's life had contained hardship, certainly, but
he'd grown up with parents who loved him and each other, who
believed in him and his ability to do well in the world, and with
that background he had no reason to believe that our relationship
would do anything but flourish. I envied his childhood, and wished
I had his positive outlook, but life had been less kind to me and I
tended to see the glass as half empty.I watched Evan for another
few moments and then yanked a weed from the ground and flung it
into the wilting pile at the end of the row. There wasn't much I
could do about my family. I came from a long line of low-life
hillbillies, and although I didn't plan to continue the tradition,
that wasn't something I could change no matter how much I moaned
about it. Education, though, that was something I could improve on.
Ever since the night of the scholarship awards, I'd been toying
with the idea of going back to school, or at least taking a class
or two, but the thought of sitting in a room full of college-age
kids made my palms sweat and gave me heartburn. I'd barely made it
out of high school, and although I'd gone to computer school a few
years later, I'd already had a knack for that and sailed through
the classes. Regular old college was another thing altogether.The
other little problem was that I had absolutely no idea what I
wanted to be. I worked my way across the length and width of the
garden, stopping only to stand and stretch my back now and then.
Evan had finished the lawn and was pushing the mower back to the
barn with Chewy trotting along side. Chew liked the barn cause
there were critters to chase and lots of corners to sniff, but he
wasn't crazy about going in there by himself, so he always waited
for one of us to lead the way. As they disappeared, my stomach
growled and I looked at my watch. Five after twelve. No wonder I
was hungry; the bowl of cereal and bananas I'd had way back at 8am
was barely a memory. I flung one last weed into the pile and headed
for the barn."Isn't she supposed to be here by now?" Evan asked as
we met up at the barn door. "Has she called?""No." I was getting
worried, imagining her little red car wrapped around a guardrail on
the freeway, so I punched her number. On the third ring, she picked
up, laughing as she answered the phone."Hello?""Where the hell are
you?""Oh, hi, Jeffrey. I'm almost there, actually. One of Sonny's
hens was in the road, so I stopped to chase her back in the yard
and we've been chatting ever since.""You and the hen? Oh, you and
Sonny, I get it, ha-ha. Well, get back in the car -- we're
starving."The phone made scuffling noises and I realized she'd put
her hand over it. I tapped my toe and rolled my eyes as I waited,
watching Evan throw a ball for Chewy. She finally came back on the
line. "May I bring Sonny for lunch?" "Yes, yes - bring the damn
chicken if you want, just get here."She pulled in the drive a few
minutes later with Sonny's old beater truck rattling along behind
her. They hadn't brought the chicken, but they had brought all the
dogs, and they poured forth from the open door before Sonny could
ease his way out. We watched them envelop Chewy in their midst and
sweep across the lawn like a furry tsunami. "I hope it's ok me
bummin' lunch," he said. "Callie swore you wouldn't mind.""'Course
not. Any friend of Callie's..." I waved a hand in the air to finish
off the phrase. "Wanna beer?"We trooped into the house and I
carried Callie's overnight bag to the guest room while Evan took
her small cooler to the kitchen and got drinks for everyone. We
stood around talking for a few minutes while I grabbed a big tray
and piled lunch onto it -- chicken salad, raisin pecan bread from
the deli, olives, cheese, grapes, chocolate cake -- and then we all
headed out to the picnic table.The mares and Dory wandered up to
the fence as we were eating, and when standing there looking cute
didn't produce the desired result (carrots), Dory took a deep
breath, closed her eyes, and broke into song, wheezing and braying
at the top of her lungs like a dysfunctional bagpipe. Since it was
an almost daily occurrence, Chewy was used to it, but Sonny's pack
whipped their heads around at the awful noise, staring in horror
before hightailing it to safety under the picnic table. Now, one
medium sized dog like Chew under the table was no big deal, you can
barely tell he's there, but seven dogs of varying sizes, milling in
terrified confusion, was quite another. As the silverware began to
rattle, we grabbed our drinks and tried to steady the table,
shoving the dogs aside with our feet as we hollered at them. Chewy
sat watching from the middle of the yard, head cocked to one side,
clearly bewildered at all the fuss. Normally, Dory reserved the
racket for morning and evening when we brought out carrots anyway.
If she was going to start yodeling whenever she decided it was
treat time, she was going to become a real nuisance, and,
unfortunately for her, Evan hadn't been quick enough and
Pthc Lolita Top was wearing his iced tea in his
lap. "Goddamnit!" He leaped to his feet and ran to the hose that we
filled the stock tank with, cranking it on and aiming the spray at
Dory. She shut her mouth the instant the cold water hit her,
shuffling off in her three-step trot until she was just out of
reach before turning around to stare at Evan with an indignant
expression. "Now shut up!" he yelled at her. "You'll get carrots
tonight and not a damn minute sooner!"He turned off the hose and,
holding the cold, wet crotch of his shorts away from his body,
started for the house to change. Callie and Sonny stared at Dory as
she hopped back up to the fence, then Sonny squinted more closely
at her before asking, "That donkey only got three legs?""Yes," Evan
said crossly as he stomped up the back steps, "but her lungs more
than make up for it, so don't feel bad for her."We shooed the dogs
away and cleaned up the table as I told them the story of how Dory
came to live here. Callie said oh and aw at all the right spots
while Sonny just shook his head and watched Dory shoving the mares
out of the way to get at a choice patch of grass. Evan came back to
the table in dry shorts and a better mood, and we resumed eating.
Callie seemed a little different to me and at first I figured it
was just cause I hadn't seen her for a while, but then I realized
that she was flirting with Sonny. She had never talked much to me
about her younger days, but as I watched her smile and laugh at
Sonny's story about a chicken and a June bug, I had no trouble
imagining her at twenty, charming the pants off the boys in Prague
or wherever the hell she'd grown up. After lunch, we inspected the
garden. Callie was suitably impressed with my caretaking and said
that everything was coming along nicely. We admired all the unripe
tomatoes, and while poking through the greenery, she found a
handful of small yellow squash that she said would be great sliced
thin in scrambled eggs in the morning for breakfast. "With cinnamon
rolls?" I asked pointedly."Yes, they're in the cooler. One for
tomorrow and two for the freezer.""Homemade cinnamon rolls?" Sonny
asked, one untamed eyebrow up by his hairline."Yes," Callie said as
she turned to me with a lifted eyebrow of her own."We'll eat around
nine," I told Sonny, giving in to the inevitable with a smile.He
grinned and said he'd bring the eggs. He went home soon after that,
and we spent the afternoon hiking back to the dog cemetery. Callie
was affected by the place, gently touching each gravestone with her
fingertips as she read the names aloud. On the way back to the
house, we cut through the pasture. As soon as they noticed us, the
mares and Dory set out on a path to intercept us and then followed
along like overgrown dogs. Evan ignored Dory, pushing her away when
she nudged his arm, but Callie put an arm around her neck and
talked nonsense in her furry ear as we walked along. Dinner was
fajitas -- chicken, shrimp and steak, just like the fancy Mex place
in town. We all worked in the kitchen, chopping veggies, peeling
shrimp and mashing up avocados for guacamole. Sharon had recently
cleaned out the rafters of her old garage and given us a few things
she thought we'd enjoy, including a set of old dishes that had
chili peppers on them. She said they were just tacky enough to be
fun and I agreed as I set the dining room table with them. We ate
and talked and laughed, washing the spicy food down with cold Dos
Equis, and by the end of the evening we were all pretty tanked. I
made sure Callie got down the hall to her room, gave her a
goodnight hug, then wandered back into the kitchen to help Evan get
the leftovers put away.Finally in our room, I dropped my clothes at
the foot of the bed and crawled up between Evan's
Pthc Lolita
Top legs. He was lying on his back with one arm over his eyes
and the other flung dramatically out across the sheets. I nuzzled
his balls mostly because they were there, not because I really had
any intention of doing anything, and noticed that his crotch
smelled like tea. "Mmm," I mumbled as I lifted his soft cock into
my mouth. "It's a Lipton lollipop."His belly bounced up against my
forehead as he chuckled. "I should probably shower."But he didn't.
He just lay there as I gave him a drunken but effective blow job,
and then we both conked out. At 8:45 the next morning, we were out
of the shower and pulling on our clothes when I heard Sonny's truck
rattle to a halt. I knew Callie was up already cause I'd heard the
back door squeak when she let Chewy out, so I let her greet him.
When Evan opened our bedroom door, the smell of coffee and cinnamon
rolls hit us and we almost fought each other to get to the kitchen
first. Confronted with the unmistakable evidence of our still-damp
hair, Sonny's realization that we actually shared a bedroom and
thus a bed, and apparently a shower, hit home with full force. I
watched his neck redden slightly as his thoughts took him down the
road to what we undoubtedly did in that bed, and for the next few
moments, he looked everywhere but at us. Evan didn't notice as he
poured coffee, but I watched Sonny until he looked at me, and when
our eyes met, I didn't smile. I figured he could get up and leave
if he was that freaked out, or he could decide he was cool with it.
It took a few moments, but finally one side of his mouth quirked up
and he shook his head slightly. I grinned at him then, gave Callie
a noisy smack on the cheek that she waved away with one hand as she
stirred eggs, and got myself some coffee.Breakfast was wonderful; I
was beginning to think Sonny was right
Pthc Lolita Top about
those fresh eggs, because every time we had them they tasted great.
The saut�ed squash was a nice touch, and
accompanied by cinnamon rolls and link sausage, it was a perfect
way to start the day. Sonny went home after a third cup of coffee,
and we set off for an old historic farm in the next county that was
having an antique fair and sheep dog trials. I was amazed by both
the prices on the antiques and
Pthc Lolita Top the ability
of the dogs. Using just a whistle and hand signals, the dogs made
those sheep do everything except turn back flips. I thought about
Chewy, who could sit up and shake hands, and idly wondered if Bill
had any sheep.We finally waved Callie off in the late afternoon
after loading her car with the several things she'd bought at the
antique fair. Evan stretched as we walked up the front steps. "I
think I'll read for a bit," he said, aiming for the couch as we
came in the house. "With your eyes shut?""Maybe," he laughed with a
`fuck you' look. "What are you gonna do?""Email, I guess. Probably
kill a few bad guys. I'll wake you for dinner." Evan stuck out his
tongue at me as he hit the couch and I bet he was asleep before my
ass hit my office chair. The first email on the list was from
Brendan. From: bwnfumail.com To: bytemeymail.com Yeah I got a job.
Theres a big plant place here and they always hire a bunch of kids
for the summer so yesterday I spent 4 hours!!! putting flowers in
pots and then I unloaded a truck full of dirt and then I built
fountains for the rest of the day. That part was fun or at least
funner than the dirt truck. Did Pthc Lolita Top you know they make
like 20 kinds of tomatos? I only spent a little of my first check
taking this girl for hamburgers and then I put the rest in the
bank.I cut school that day. Don't tell my mom alright? She'd shit.
It was almost the end of the year anyway so I didnt miss anything.
I'll be a junior next year yay.Send the donkey video -- I could use
a laugh.Brendan I read it a few times, trying to get a feel for
him. His punctuation hadn't improved any but I was more concerned
with the fact that he sounded unhappy. I hadn't been a barrel of
laughs at that age myself, so I could sympathize. Growing up was
just a bitch. I'd had the added conflict of coping with my
attraction to boys and wondered for the first time if Brendan was
straight. Taking a girl for a burger wasn't much of an indication
one way or the other. I sighed, and then opened up Call of Duty and
spent the next hour sneaking around corners trying not to kill my
own team mates with my twitchy trigger finger. But my mind was on
Brendan and when I was finished playing soldier, I went back and
read his email again, then hit `reply'. From: bytemeymail.comTo:
bwnfumail.com Good deal on the job. We've got a big garden this
year with lots of tomatoes. Maybe you can give me some gardening
pointers lol. I won't tell your mom but you gotta stay in school.
You'll be shoveling dirt the rest of your life without at least a
high school diploma. I know college sounds like just more school,
but you could do some kind of vocational thing like I did. Computer
stuff pays pretty well and it's easier on your back when you're old
than shoveling dirt, but there's all kinds of things you could do
with yourself.Here's the donkey. Her name's Dory and she's only got
3 legs but it hasn't slowed her down much. Turn the sound up loud
so that you get the full effect.Jeff As I read it over, I wished
there was some sort of way to sign off without just signing my
name. `Love' was way too much and `Affectionately' sounded totally
gay. `Take care' had possibilities, but I still felt weird about
it, so I finally just clicked `send' and went down the hall to wake
Evan up for dinner. The following weekend, Evan went to the city
with his dad to a meeting of the state BAR association, followed by
a formal dinner. I'd never worn a tuxedo, much less owned one, so I
insisted that Evan model his for me on Friday night. Although I
have a definite thing for scruffy construction-worker types, a hot
guy all dressed up in formal duds totally makes me think about
undressing him, so Evan indulged me. He made me go sit on the couch
while he got gussied up and then he came walking slowly into the
room. My mouth actually dropped open a little as I looked at him.
Evan had a body made for wearing clothes well -- tall, broad
shouldered, slender-hipped -- and in the stark formality of a
custom-fitted tuxedo, he was breathtaking. As he paced back and
forth, he unbuttoned his jacket, and then slid his hands into the
front pockets of his trousers. He stopped in front of me as his
hands slid toward his groin. I could see the lumps of his knuckles
moving under the black fabric, and soon I could detect the outline
of his hard cock slanted up his belly. He stood just far enough
from me that I couldn't reach him, smiling and watching me with
half-closed eyes as he played with himself, his hips moving in a
slow grind.I held out as long as I could, but finally I growled at
him,
Pthc Lolita Top "Get over here," and he stepped close
enough for me to touch him. I gripped the back of his legs and
pulled him close, burying my face into the stiff fabric, nudging
along his hard-on
Pthc Lolita Top with my nose. Things
progressed to the point where I had his dick out, but then Evan got
worried about gooing up his tux, so he pried my hands off his ass
and backed away. I watched as he stepped out of his trousers and
hung them over the back of a chair, then draped his jacket over
them and turned back to me.The fly of his gray boxers stood away
from his crotch, poking through the tails of his shirt, held there
by the weight of his erection, and as he moved closer to me, I
locked eyes with him and got to my feet. I placed my hands on his
chest and flexed my fingers into the meat of his pecs, then ruffled
my fingertips across the small pleats on either side of the
buttons. His eyes narrowed slightly and one side of his mouth
curled up when I stopped over each nipple and tapped a few times.
When I tilted my chin to kiss him, he smiled wider and moved his
head back just out of reach. Wanna play it like that?, I thought.
Fine.I slid my arms around him and went for his neck instead, my
teeth scraping on the stubble of his beard. As I nuzzled him, I
sort of stepped us around until I had his back toward the couch. I
moved up his neck to his ear, and when I had him good and relaxed,
I began to work my way lower, unbuttoning his shirt as I went. When
I had my mouth just below his breastbone, I whipped my hands down
to the back of his knees, pushed with my head, and dumped him on
his back on the couch. He scrambled to get loose, but I held his
upper arms and pressed him into the cushions with my weight and
after a moment or two of bucking underneath me, he began to roll
his hips instead, and well... I played out several of my GQ
fantasies that evening.Anyway, I'd been thinking about Sonny's
eggs, and with the entire day to myself, I decided to tackle the
old chicken coop as a first step toward having our own hens. I
figured if we had a ready-to-go place for them to live, Evan would
have a tougher time arguing me out of it. As I walked slowly around
the coop, studying what might be salvageable and what had to come
down, I heard a truck come up the drive. After a moment or two, Raf
came into view, parked and ambled toward me dressed in work clothes
similar to mine -- cutoff jeans, snug t-shirt, sturdy work boots --
as Elvis scampered to meet Chewy. Raf's cutoffs were old and faded
over parts of the crotch, and since I'd recently seen him in the
yellow speedo, it took zero effort to imagine what had worn the
denim white. The sight of him made me start thinking about other
things than a ramshackle chicken coop. "Need a hand?" he asked as
he got closer, grinning at me from under the brim of a John Deere
cap when he saw where my eyes were.I dragged my gaze up to his face
and tried to get my mind back on the coop. "You look like one of
the boys down to the feed store," I drawled in Sonny's voice. "Know
anything `bout chickens?""I know I like 'em on the grill with lots
of barbeque sauce." When I smirked at him, he laughed and
continued. "Not really, but this might help."He tossed me a small
book titled Sheds Coops. I looked up to see him smiling at me and I
grinned back. "Thanks. How'd you know I'd be doin' this?""Evan," he
replied. "Told me to keep you company."So Evan had figured I might
be thinking about chickens. "Where's Kenny?""Drove over to visit
his mom for the weekend. I guess it's his uncle's birthday or
something. His mom's ok but the rest of the family think I'm a
degenerate, so I begged off.""A degenerate, huh? Just my type."I
sat down on a bale of hay to leaf through the book. Rafael joined
me, sitting close so he could see the book, close enough that his
dark thigh lay along mine. I got sidetracked looking at the black
hair that drifted along his thigh, the contrast it made against my
own paler leg with its brown hair, but I got a grip and opened the
book."That's a cool one," Raf said, pointing. The photo showed
three fat, contented-looking chickens pecking around in a pen with
a rustic little coop behind them. It looked like an old farm house
in miniature, and I nodded."Yeah, it is. Think we can build
it?""Prolly, but if we get totally stuck we'll get my dad out here.
He can build anything."We poked and prodded the existing coop, but
finally decided there was nothing worth saving and pulled it down
by the simple expedient of tying one end of a rope completely
around the coop, the other around the hitch on Raf's truck, and
easing it over. The coop trembled for a moment, and then gave way,
tumbling to the ground in a cloud of dust, chicken shit, and
fifty-year-old feathers. We loaded it all into the bed of the
truck, cleared the site, and made a shopping list from the book.By
then it was early afternoon, so I dished out some of Maggie's
never-fail tuna casserole, sipping a Dr. Pepper while Raf chatted
with me from the table. I no longer had odd moments around him when
I wondered what the hell he was thinking. Not that he told me what
he was thinking now; more like he didn't try to hide his thoughts
and feelings from me any longer. I put the plates in the microwave
and leaned my butt against the counter. Raf got a beer from the
fridge and took a sip, looking down at the bottle for a moment,
then up at me. I held his eyes as he crossed the room, setting his
beer on the table as he passed it. I put my can on the counter
behind me, feeling a little flutter in my gut. I had thought about
kissing this guy since the day I'd seen his picture in Evan's
bedroom, and it looked like he might
Pthc Lolita Top be
about to make my fantasy come true.But did I really want that to
happen? Evan's words as he'd told me goodbye this morning popped
into my head. "Have a good
Pthc Lolita Top day," he'd said.
"Do something fun." While I was damn certain that kissing Rafael
would be fun, I figured it probably wasn't quite what Evan'd had in
mind. Although, he had sent Raf to keep me company. What the fuck
was going on here? Would Evan even be mad if I kissed Rafael? He'd
kissed him plenty of times, long before I came on the scene, but
still... Raf put a foot on either side of my crossed ankles, linked
his hands loosely behind my neck, and settled his crotch against
mine, gazing at me with those dark chocolate eyes. We looked at
each other for several moments, and I could see that he was still
thinking about it too, weighing the possible consequences against
the attraction we both felt. I finally made the decision for both
of us, gripping his hip with my right hand, lifting my left to his
scarred cheek, and bringing his mouth to mine. The first time Evan
kissed me, it had begun with an electric jolt that zinged through
me, sizzling at every nerve ending and taking my breath for a
second. Now, more than a year into our relationship, his kisses
felt like home to me, familiar and comfortable, and arousing at
least in part because I knew where they usually led.Raf's mouth was
cold from the beer, but his kiss started as a slow burn in my chest
that curled its way south. Before I could register more than that
initial feeling, he broke the kiss and turned away to grab his
beer, gulping at the bottle as he walked to the back door. I pulled
my tongue back in my mouth and went after him."Don't walk away,
Pthc Lolita Top man. That was gonna happen eventually. You know it
as well as I do." When he turned to me, his face was carefully
neutral, no hint of the emotion I'd felt from him a moment ago. We
stared each other down for a few seconds. "Why the fuck are we
always ready to deck each other?" I asked him.He shrugged, holding
my eyes for another few seconds, but then sighed and looked out the
back door. I stepped close enough to pull him into a hug, and after
a moment he put his arms around me."You kiss good," he murmured
into my neck. "Different than Evan or Kenny."Different than Evan?
How long had it been since he'd kissed Evan like that? "Yeah, you
too," I agreed with a sigh.I held him loosely in my arms, enjoying
the feel of his hard body against mine. Raf was a rock, all steely
tendons and granite muscles. We embraced for a minute or so until
the microwave's ding interrupted us. As he eased away, he smiled at
me - the sweet, affectionate smile that he normally reserved for
Kenny and, occasionally, Evan. We ate, then loaded up the dogs and
drove off in his truck for the dump, where we got rid of the old
coop, and then to the lumberyard, where we bought ingredients for
the new improved coop. Back home, we unloaded everything into the
barn in case it rained, leveled the ground, and measured and cut
boards. We each stirred up a tub of quick-setting concrete, then
shoveled it into the frame we'd built for the floor. No more was
said of the kiss, although I thought about it quite a bit, stealing
a look at Rafael now and then as he worked.We decided to keep going
while the light lasted, so after we leveled the concrete, I went in
and made us a couple huge sandwiches which I took to the barn.
There were a lot of parts to the new coop, and since neither of us
were accomplished carpenters, we worked slowly, checking off each
piece as we cut it, numbering and stacking it all up for assembly
the next time we had a chance to work on it. Raf finally stood up
and rubbed his lower back. "Ok, all the boards are cut; let's knock
off."That was fine with me so we washed up with the hose and headed
for the kitchen for cold beers. As I was twisting the top off mine,
Dory started up her evening chorus, startling both Rafael and
Elvis. As they stared out the door, Raf said, "My uncle kept a
couple donkeys when I was a kid. Goofiest noise I ever heard." We
took a bag of carrots out to the fence and spent half an hour
feeding the mares and Dory. It had become a normal part of my day,
one that I looked forward to. I'd never been around farm animals
before and was really enjoying having them in the back yard. Elvis,
once he'd gotten over his initial shock at Dory's racket, bounced
over to the fence to greet her, touching noses with her between the
rails. Chewy stared apprehensively from a few feet away, certain
that Dory was going to bite his head off. Raf watched Dory hop
around on her three legs and shook his head a little."What?" I
asked him."Nothing really. Just wishful thinking." He stopped for a
moment, but continued when I prodded him with an elbow. "Kenny. I
wish..." Deep sigh. "We didn't get together until after he was
hurt, and sometimes I really wish that we could still do some of
the stuff we used to do when we were kids, now that we're... a
couple." His gaze roamed over the pasture, back to the shadows of
the tree line. "But we can't, so no point thinking about it."He
took a long pull on his beer, then turned away from me and walked
back to the porch, and after a moment of watching him, I followed
along. Raf took the chair on the left, which put the bad side of
his face toward me, another sign that he and I had gotten past me
being simply Evan's friend. The peepers down by the creek started
their nightly song as we sat there watching the tail end of the
sunset over the meadow, thinking our own thoughts, mostly at ease
with each other after months of wariness and distrust. He continued
to look at the darkening field as he began to talk to me. "I've
never cheated on Kenny, not in all the time we've been together,
almost ten years. Thought about it a time or two..." He glanced at
me as he said, "But I been wantin' to do that." I nodded slowly.
"Me, too, but..." I blew out a heavy sigh. "Fuck, this is gonna
make me sound like Mary Poppins or something, but I gotta tell
Evan."He snorted out a laugh and took a hit off his beer. "You
won't have to. You look guilty as fuck." I felt guilty as fuck, so
I wasn't surprised it showed, but I felt myself flush at his words
and hoped the shadows of the porch hid my face a little. "I think
they've been expecting it anyway, him and Kenny," Raf added.I
stared at him. "Expecting it? I never gave it a serious thought
until you got in my face in there. Why the hell would they be
expecting it?"He looked away off across the yard as he lifted one
shoulder in a shrug. "They aren't blind..." He was silent for a
long time and I followed his gaze as I waited him out. Finally he
started talking again. "If you knew they'd never find out... would
you?"Jesus. How do you answer something like that? With the truth,
I guess, if you don't want to fuck up the best thing that's ever
happened to you. I may be uneducated, but I ain't stupid. I let out
a long, slow breath before I replied. "No. Evan means too much to
me. And so does your friendship -- you and Kenny. And I sure as
hell wouldn't be able to hide it. So, no, I wouldn't." He turned to
look at me then. "But you are a temptation," I added with a grin.He
gave me an ironic smile, the good side of his mouth curling up.
"Ditto," he said.I got us another beer and we were still sitting
there when Evan pulled in around nine. We listened to the front
door open and close, then Evan's footsteps through the house. Raf
gave me a look and leaned forward in his chair. "My cue to leave?"I
grabbed his arm. "No. Sit your ass down. We're gonna talk about
this."A moment later, Evan, resplendent in his tux, came out the
back door with a beer in one hand. "Talk about what?" he asked.
Many thanks to David of Hope who always offers good suggestions
every time he proofs a chapter. And thanks to everyone who reads
this story. Not many of you comment, but I really appreciate those
who do.
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