Encourage Your Children - Encourage Yourself!(2012-01-02 15:13:00)
Have you ever felt like you are a pretty good mom or dad, and that things are going along ok and then you read an article on 'how to be a better parent' which leaves you feeling like a bad one?
I have. And I look at that and think why I am like that?
Why don't I take the intended messages and apply them to becoming a better mom? Why do I get the message about what I am not doing well instead, and end up feeling discouraged?
I think it's because I wanted very badly to be a 'great parent' and I was already flat out. If I added too much more to my 'plate', I wouldn't be able to keep it up and I may fail more.
My children have grown up now and I get to look at motherhood differently and I have to say it is a lot easier as a grandparent.
Being a mom is such a 24/7/365 role that can feel like one big list of 'things to do'. And sadly, for some moms and dads it's a list of things they feel they are failing at. A list of things that they 'don't do' or 'don't do often enough or consistently enough to be effective'.
I don't think parents should feel like it's a matter of failing or succeeding. But it's true our kids only get one childhood and we parents don't want to mess it up.
This is why I believe that consciously working with your child to help them develop self-confidence is one of the best starting places for parents to gain real encouragement themselves. This is because when you help your child develop confidence, you gain a more communicative, cooperative, helpful, happy and peaceful child who has problem-solving skills.
Imagine how different every part of your parenting day could be, (morning routines, after school and evenings, dinner times and car time), if your child felt enough confidence in him/herself to explain their feelings to you?
But then even if they do have the confidence, they would need to have the understanding of their emotions and also have an emotional vocabulary so they could describe their feelings. And they would have to have confidence in you as well, that you would respect and value their feelings.
Developing 'confidence' touches so many parts of a child's life...and a parent's. It can feel too complicated to actually 'do'.
So, how could it become 'do-able'?
The solution lies in embedding the parenting activities that you are already doing with a philosophy that if your actions as a parent encourage your child, then your child will develop confidence.
Think about that word 'encourage'. It means to 'give courage to'. As a parent wouldn't you feel bad if your actions actually took ugg boots sale your child's courage away from them, leaving them feeling inadequate to the challenges that they face daily?
Imagine daily life from your child's point of view. I mean really put yourself in your child's shoes. How many times in one day is your child's ability stretched and how many incidences of perceived failure does your child experience every single day in play or at school or at home?
It is a series of 'learning experiences' and 'personal challenges'. Can you imagine yourself experiencing even one day like your child's?
And how does your child view you? Are you the 'safe haven' the 'sanctuary' where he/she is safe and valued and 'restored'. Or are you the main source of your child's feelings of failure and discouragement? Unintentionally, of course!
Now, there's a GREAT word. INTENTION!
What if you, as a parent decided INTENTIONALLY to be the source of your child's COURAGE!!! The source of his/her CONFIDENCE!
If a parent were to come from a place of 'How can I make sure that every interaction I have with my child leads to him/her building self-confidence?' then children would begin to ugg boots sale blossom and family life would be a lot easier for parents as a result.
What if we, as parents would label our own parenting actions
with only one of two labels:
oThis action leads to building my child's confidence
oThis ugg boots women action leads to destroying my child's confidence
If we did view our actions in terms of building or destroying our child's confidence, what effect would that have on our parenting?
I think it simplifies things for moms and dads and doesn't add more 'to do' things to the list.
I think it would save time for moms and dads and give them a chance to feel empowered in their role as a parent.
I developed this philosophy not only as a mom but also as a school teacher.
Whenever I have felt my classroom is not running smoothly, I have reflected on the areas that are the most aggravating and that are clearly not working well. In each case I found that it was only a couple of little things that needed tweaking and then the whole thing ran more smoothly.
In each case it came down to 'someone's lack of confidence. So the answer was to build that person/s up. Instantly, the classroom would change. There would be co-operation instead of chaos, and communication instead of accusations.
Wouldn't it be great if moms and dads could read an article on how to be a better parent and find themselves ticking off all the things that they are doing right!
Vicki Jardine is the founder of 'Highly Successful Kids' an organization dedicated to providing guidance to parents ugg boots store who want to raise happy, self-confident and fulfilled children.
Vicki is a parent of 4 children , a school teacher and a family coach. She values making a difference to the lives of children and families in a way that's relevant to today's busy lifestyle.
Having spent years working with children in many different countries, as a Teacher, Life/Success Coach and a parent, there are two things underpinning Vicki's work with families and children: ?Self-Confidence plus Self-Belief equals ugg boots outlet store michigan hit bg higher performance and happier children. ?Self-Confidence and Self-Belief more strongly determine success than 'natural ability' does.
Vicki's experience as a teacher (in Australia, China, UK, Singapore) and her research into child development, combined with those two beliefs inspired her to design the Permission To Shine Program.
Vicki has ugg boots for women seen so many children open up and embrace their own potential confidently as a result of the processes and activities that are used in the Permission to Shine Program.
Parents were so pleased with the results as they saw their children blossom that they asked Vicki to design a program they could do themselves at home.
This is how Vicki became the founder of Highly Successful Kids, a membership website where parents can take courses (such as The Permission to Shine Course for Parents), read and listen to articles, interviews and forums. The site is a community of parents and professionals in the education and child development arenas.
Go to http://www.permissiontoshine.com to receive your FREE AUDIO explaining how you can further help your child to develop self-confidence.
To engage Vicki Jardine as a guest speaker or to become an affiliate or to be interviewed by Vicki just email: firstname.lastname@example.org