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【康知了】Maysoon Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

(2017-12-06 10:27:10)
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康知了

讲者:Maysoon Zayid

演讲简介:“我患有脑瘫。我无时不刻不在颤抖,“这是梅逊·扎伊德(Maysoon Zayid)振奋人心而又诙谐幽默的演讲的开场白。(的确,这个演讲很搞笑) ”我就像夏奇拉遇到了穆罕默德·阿里。” 这位优雅机智的阿裔美国人将带领我们回顾她所曾做的一切,她呈现给我们的却是生命的活力,阳光,不仅自强,还能给予他人欢乐!深深祝福你!同时感慨其父母亲的满满爱心,永不放弃和一直鼓励;感慨美国社会的包容给予这个不幸女孩良好的成长环境和生活机会。我们有很多潜能并未发挥,有很多需要努力的地方却退缩了。

感谢这篇TED的启迪

演讲全文

Hello, TEDWomen, what's up.

各位女同胞们,大家好! 你们还好吗?

Not good enough. Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?

再大声点,各位女同胞们,大家好!你们还好吗?

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

My name is Maysoon Zayid, and I am not drunk, but the doctor who delivered me was. He cut my mom six different times in six different directions, suffocating poor little me in the process. As a result, I have cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time. Look. It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali.

我叫Maysoon Zayid,虽然接生我的医生当时喝醉了,但我可清醒着呢!他从六个不同的方向切了我妈的肚皮六次,差点闷死我。就这样,我得了脑瘫,每天无时不刻地都在颤抖。这很精疲力竭,我就像夏拉奇遇上了默罕默德·阿里。

CP is not genetic. It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it. No one put a curse on my mother's uterus, and I didn't get it because my parents are first cousins, which they are.

脑瘫不会遗传,这不是生来就有的病。你根本无法预料。没人诅咒我妈的子宫,我有这个毛病,也不是因为我的父母是表兄妹,实际上他们是。

It only happens from accidents, like what happened to me on mybirth day.

(这个病)是意外发生的,就像在我出生那天也发生了一场意外。

Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational. And I don't want anyone in this room to feel bad for me, because at some point in your life, you have dreamt of being disabled. Come on a journey with me. It's Christmas Eve, you're atthe mall, you're driving around in circles looking for parking, and what do you see? Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.

我得提醒你们,我可不是什么励志人物。也不希望在这个房间里的任何人觉得我可怜,因为在你生命中的某些时刻,你们会希望自己有点残疾。我们来一起看看吧。圣诞前夜你开车在超市转来转去,想找个停车位,猜猜你会看到什么?十六个空的残疾人停车位。

And you're like, "God, can't I just be a little disabled?"

你会想,“ 天哪!我怎么就不能有点残疾呢?”

Also, I've got to tell you, I've got 99 problems, and palsyis just one.

我得告诉你们,我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中之一。

If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal.I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey.

如果有什么类似受压迫奥运会,我肯定能拿金牌。我是巴勒斯坦人,穆斯林,女性,残疾人,还有,我住在新泽西。

If you don't feel better about yourself, maybe you should.

如果你自我感觉不太好的话,(听到我的情况后)或许你应该觉得自己很好。

Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown. I have always loved the fact that my hood and my afflictions hare the same initials. I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City, I could.

新泽西的Cliffiside Park是我的家乡。我感到高兴的是,我的家乡和我的残疾有着相同的首字母。我还感到高兴的是,我可以从家步行到纽约市。

A lot of people with CP don't walk, but my parents didn't believe in"can't." My father's mantra was,"You can do it, yes you can can."

很多有脑瘫的人根本走不了,但是我的父母相信一切皆有可能。我父亲的口头禅是“ 你可以做到。是的,你一定行!”

So, if my three older sisters were mopping, I was mopping. If my three older sisters went to public school, my parents would sue the school system and guarantee that I went too, and if we didn't all get A's, we all got my mother's slipper.

如果我的三个姐姐在拖地,我也得和她们一块儿拖。如果她们去上公立学校,而我去不了的话,我的父母就会起诉学校。如果我们的成绩不是全A,我妈就会用拖鞋砸我们。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old by placing my heels on his feet and just walking. Another tactic that he used is he would dangle a dollar billin front of me and have me chase it.

我五岁时,父亲开始教我如何走路,通过将我的脚后跟踩着他的脚,就这样走着。他曾在我面前晃着一美元钞票,让我追着跑。

My inner stripper was very strong.

那时我跳脱衣舞的欲望非常强烈。

Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten, I was walking like a champ who had been punched one too many times.

的确如此。第一天去幼儿园时,我走路的样子像是被打了好几下的拳击冠军。

Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town, and they were all my family.

在我成长的小镇上,原来只有六个阿拉伯人,而且他们都是我的家人。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

Now there are 20 Arabs in town, and they are still all my family.

现在有二十个阿拉伯人了,他们仍然都还是我的家人。

I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.

我想没人注意到我们不是意大利人。

This was before 9/11 and before politicians thought it was appropriate to use "I hate Muslims" as a campaign slogan. The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.

那是在911事件发生前,那时候政客们还没拿“我憎恶穆斯林”作为竞选口号。和我一起长大的小伙伴们对我的信仰没什么意见。但是他们担心我会在斋月期间饿死。我会和他们说我的脂肪足够多,可以熬过整整三个月,所以整个白天不吃饭对我来说不是什么难事。

I have tap-danced on Broadway. Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy.

我在百老汇跳过踢踏舞。百老汇!这感觉太棒了!

My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I.

我的父母付不起理疗费用,所以送我到舞蹈学校。我学会如何踩着高跟鞋跳舞,这样我也能踩着高跟鞋走路了。我来自泽西岛,这儿的人都希望自己看上去很时髦,如果我有朋友穿高跟鞋,我也会和她们一样。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations on the Jersey Shore, I did not. I spent my summers in a war zone, because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna.

当朋友们都去泽西海岸度假时,我却没跟着去。我在一个战区度过了自己的暑假, 因为我的父母担心,如果我们每个夏天都不回巴勒斯坦,我们以后就会变成麦当娜。

Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me,so I drank deer's milk, I had hot cups on my back, I was dunked in the Dead Sea, and I remember the water burning my eyes and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"

每个暑假我的父亲都在尝试帮助我,让我喝鹿奶,在我的后背绑着滚烫的杯子让我浸泡在死海中。我还记得,海水灼烧着我的眼睛,当时我在想,“啊!起作用了!起作用了!”

But one miracle cure we did find was yoga. I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian whocan't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. My parents reinforced this notion that I could do anything, that no dream was impossible, and my dream was to be on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."

最后我们发现,唯一有效的治疗方法是瑜伽。我不得不说,瑜伽实在是太无聊了。在我做瑜伽前,我是一个站不起来的单口相声演员,但是现在我可以倒立了。我的父母不断向我灌输没有我做不到的事情、没有实现不了的梦想这样的思想,而当时我的梦想是能够上日间肥皂剧《综合医院》。

I went to college during affirmative action and got a sweet scholarship to ASU, Arizona State University, because I fit every single quota.

在反歧视运动中,我在亚利桑那州立大学获得了一份数目可观的奖学金,并去上了大学,这是因为我百分之百符合学校的要求。

I was like the pet lemur of the theater department. Everybody loved me. I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework, I got A's in all of my classes, A's in all of their classes.

我就像剧院里的狐猴,每个人都喜欢我。我做了其他一些不太聪明的孩子的功课,我不但自己获得了全A,还帮他们获得了全A。

Every time I did a scene from "The Glass Menagerie," my professors would weep. But I never got cast. Finally, my senior year, ASU decided to do a show called "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson." It's a play about a girl with CP. I was a girl with CP. So I start shouting from therooftops, "I'm finally going to get apart! I have cerebral palsy! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" I didn't get the part.

每次当我排演话剧《玻璃动物园》教授们都会感动得泪流满面。但我从来没得到过一个角色。终于大四那年,亚利桑那州立大学准备排练一个节目叫做《在杰克逊翩翩起舞》。这个戏剧是关于一个患有脑瘫的女孩,那不就是我吗!我在屋顶大叫大嚷,我终于有机会表演啦!真高兴我患有脑瘫!自由万岁!自由万岁!感谢万能的上帝!自由万岁!可是我没得到那个角色。

Sherry Brown got the part. I went racing to the head of the theater department crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat, to ask her why, and she said it was because they didn't think I could do the stunts. I said, "Excuse me, if Ican't do the stunts, neither can the character."

Sherry Brown 成为了那个女孩。我一口气跑到戏剧系的主任那儿,哭的死去活来,好像有人打死了我的猫似的,问她为什么,她说:“戏剧部认为我演不了那些动作。”“拜托!要是我演不了,她也一样。”

This was a part that I was literally born to play they gave it to a non-palsyactress. College was imitating life. Hollywood has a sordid history of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled onscreen.

这是我一生下来就开始扮演的角色,但他们却给了一个健全的人。大学只不过是在模仿生活而已,让健全的演员饰演残疾人。在这一点上好莱坞有着不堪回首的历史。

Upon graduating, I moved back home, and my first acting gig was asan extra on a daytime soap opera. My dream was coming true. And I knew that I would be promoted from "Diner Diner" to "Wacky Best Friend" in no time.

毕业后,我搬回家,我的第一个表演机会是作为一名日间肥皂剧的临时演员。我的梦想快要实现了。我知道自己不久将会从《路边小饭馆》走到《奇葩好友》。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture that you could only recognize from the back of my head, and it became clear to me that casting directors didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors. They only hired perfect people. But there were exceptions to the rule. I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, and all of these women had one thing in common: they were comedians. So I became a comic.

然而,我仍是那个徒有虚名的小演员,你只能从我的后脑勺认出我。显而易见,导演们不会用那些肤浅的患有残疾的少数民族,他们只会任用那些完美无瑕的人。但是凡事都有例外。我从小是看着乌比•戈德宝罗西妮•巴尔和艾伦长大的,这些女人都有一个共性:她们都是喜剧演员。所以后来我成为了其中一员。

My first gig was driving famous comics from New York City to shows in New Jersey, and I'll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike with a chick with CP driving him.

我的初次亮相是带着那些著名的喜剧演员,开车从纽约市到新泽西的表演场地。我永远忘不了,当驶过新泽西高速公路时,我第一位乘客意识到他的司机是一位患有脑瘫的女孩所流露出的表情。

I've performed in clubs all over America, and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East, uncensored and uncovered.

我在全美的各种俱乐部中表演,我还在中东用阿拉伯语表演过,没有审查,也没有报道。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

Some people say I'm the first stand-up comic in the Arab world. I never like to claim first, but I do know that they never heard that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny, and they find us hysterical.

有人说我是第一个在阿拉伯国家表演的单口相声演员。我从不承认,但是我知道他们肯定没听过像女人一点儿也不幽默、他们觉得我们神经过敏之类的荒唐的言论。

In 2003, my brother from another mother and father Dean Obeidallah and I started the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival,now in its 10th year. Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media, while also reminding casting directors that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.

在2003年,我的异父异母的哥哥Dean Obeidallah和我举办了一个活动,叫做“纽约市阿裔美国人喜剧节”,现在已经是第十个年头了。我们的目标是改变媒体上阿拉伯裔美国人的负面形象,同时也告诉那些导演们,南亚人和阿拉伯人并不一样。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easierthan conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability.

相比战胜对残疾人的诽谤,阿拉伯的主流人群要简单得多。

My big break came in 2010. I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show "Countdownwith Keith Olbermann." I walked in looking like I was going to the prom, and they shuffle me into a studio and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.

我职业生涯的突破是在2010年。我去一家有线新闻台做《Keith Olberman 倒计时》节目的嘉宾。我走了进去,感觉像是去参加舞会,他们拖着我进了演播室,让我坐在一个不停旋转晃动的椅子上。

So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like, "Excuse me, can I have another chair?" And she looked at me and she went, "Five, four, three, two..." And we were live, right? So I had to grip onto theanchor's desk so that I wouldn't roll off the screen during the segment, and when the interview was over, I was livid. I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it, and I knew I would never get invited back. But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back, he made me a full-time contributor, and he taped down my chair.

看着舞台监督“请问一下,能给我换个椅子吗?"她看着我,说道”五,四,三,二...."而且我们正在直播,不是吗?所以我只能紧紧地抓住主持人的桌子来确保不会从镜头中突然消失。访谈结束后,我气炸了,我得到自己梦寐以求的机会,却又搞砸了,我知道自己再没有机会了。但是Olbermann不仅再次邀请我,而且全程都非常尊重我,给我讲话的机会,并把我的椅子用胶带固定住了。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.

在和Keith Olbermann做节目的过程中,我学到了一个有趣的事,那就是网络上的人总是丑陋的。

People say children are cruel, but I was never made fun of as achild or an adult. Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game. I would look at clips online and see comments like, "Yo,why's she tweakin'?" "Yo,is she retarded?" And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist. What does she suffer from? We should really pray forher." One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits: screen writer, comedian, palsy.

人们总是说,孩子有时候会很残忍,但在成长的过程中,我从来没受过别人的嘲笑。突然,我的残疾却在网络上遭到攻击。我会看看网上的一些片段,再看些评论“ 哇,为什么她在不停地扭动身体?”“哇,她是不是智力有问题啊?”我喜欢的是,“这个可笑的恐怖分子,她到底怎么回事?我们该为她祈福祷告。”一个评论家甚至建议我把自己的残疾视为一种荣誉:剧作家,喜剧演员,瘫痪。

Disability is as visual as race. If a wheel chair user can't play Beyoncé, then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user. The disabled are the largest —Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on.

残疾如同一个人的肤色一样明显。如果腿脚不便的人演不了碧昂斯,那么碧昂斯也演不了坐轮椅的人。残疾人是最大部分的——为此鼓掌吧,大家!

People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world, and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment.

残疾人是世界上最大的少数群体,在娱乐节目中几乎看不到残疾人的身影。

The doctors said that I wouldn't walk, but I am here in front of you. However, if I grew up with social media, I don't think I would be. I hope that together, we can create more positive images of disability in the media andin everyday life. Perhaps if there were more positive images, it would foster less hate on the Internet. Or maybe not. Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well.

医生曾说我走不了,但我现在就站在你们面前。但是,如果我生长在一个社交媒体的时代,我可能就真的走不了。我希望能在媒体以及人们的日常生活中,为残疾人营造更多的积极形象。或许通过这种更积极的形象,互联网会少些诋毁。或许什么改变都没有。或许教育好我们的孩子,还是需要全村人的努力。

My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places. I got to walk the red carpet flanked by soap diva Susan Lucciand the iconic Loreen Arbus. I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews. I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild. I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey at the 2008 DNC. And I founded Maysoon's Kids, a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children as liver of the chance my parents gave me. But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got -- before this moment –

我坎坷的经历却把我带到了一些美妙的地方。我曾和肥皂剧的女主角Susan Lucci以及偶像Lorraine Arbus一起走过红地毯。我将和Adam Sandler出演一部电影,并和我的偶像Dave Matthews 一起工作,作为《狂野的阿拉伯人》的主演。我环游世界,我代表新泽西州出席了2008年的民主党全国委员会。我成立了Maysoon儿童基金会,希望能给巴勒斯坦难民营的儿童一点点我当初父母曾给我的希望,但是最重要的时刻是当我得到的时候----在此之前。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got to perform for the man who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, has Parkinson's and shakes just like me, Muhammad Ali.

最重要的时刻是,当我将要为一个身手敏捷、出手直击要害的人表演,他有帕金森病,也像我一样会不停地颤抖,他就是穆罕默德•阿里。

【康知了】Maysoon <wbr>Zayid:我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中一个

It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live, and I dedicate this talk to his memory. Allah yerhamak yaba.

这是唯一一次我父亲看我的现场表演,我把这个演讲献给他——Allah yerhamak yaba。

My name is Maysoon Zayid,and if I can can, you can can.

我的名字叫Maysoon Zayid如果我可以,你一定也行。

( 原文及译文来源于TED官网http://www.ted.com/)

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