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Loyalty 忠诚

(2014-04-07 22:59:21)
忠诚
写这篇博客是由于之前有人问我一个问题,这个问题让我如此困扰不解的原因是,我不懂为什么现在有些人已经没有了我一直认为是作为一个人最基本的诚心和价值。
这个问题是:为什么我每年都要花大价钱请来自巴西的Tony教练来授课,而不选择亚洲其他国家便宜的教练?当我被这样问及时,我简直不敢相信自己的耳朵!
我的每次授课,是出于我对柔术的热爱,我和我学生分享的不仅仅是我二十多年来学习柔术的技术也有人生的哲理。虽然作为一个职业柔术学者的我在经营着上海巴西柔术学院,但金钱并不是让我站在柔术垫上教学的动力,像其他一些武术教练一样,对于武术的热情才是我们真正的动力。而且事实上,作为一名柔术教练的我有着更好的职业道路,可以获得更多的收入。
我对于我学生的要求是忠诚。
这种品质不是那种仅限于某一时期或者是出于私利的摇摆不定的忠诚,而是那种患难与共,同进同出的忠诚,是那种你指望在亲人和朋友间获得的忠诚。像我们在柔术中可以学到的其他人生准则一样,忠诚是我们作为人最重要的道德标准之一,也只有在风雨中我们才能知道谁是真正忠诚的人。
世界上分三种人:第一种人,他完全没有任何的忠诚,他只关心谋取自己的利益,这种人至少你一眼就能看出来,避而远之;第二种人,他们不论风雨阳光总是忠诚地站在你身边,这些人是我们要一辈子珍惜地;最后还有种人,他们见风使舵,摇摆不定,最终他们让我们失望,让我们痛心。
我非常看中我和我学员之间的关系,我们之间最基本的关系的确是商业关系,因为他们交了学费,所以我才能开馆,才能给馆里的其他教练发工资,但是让我真正感到快乐的是我教给学员技术的同时也看到柔术给他们生活带来的改变。我尤其喜欢那些好学的学员,并且我认为和他们的关系是互利互惠的,当然也有些我曾经帮助过却选择离开消失的学员,我不得不说我很开心他们现在不在这里训练了。
请记住,柔术学院不是那些商业化的健身房,我们这不单是让你挥汗如雨的地方更是塑造人生态度的地方,就像samurai和spartans他们不仅仅是技术了得的战士,更是具有高度人生准则的人。
多年以来,我渐渐悟出,在柔术垫上最重要的是人与人之间的那种长久的关系,虽然时不时有会员加入退出,但是我们中也有一群朋友大家认识十年之久,他们已经永远成为我生命的一部分,当我们老去时我们可以一起谈笑风生,当年的那些在一起学习柔术的风风雨雨。随着你年龄的增大(当然也希望随着你越来越睿智),你会意识到武术是增加人与人之间那种长久友谊的重要途径。有些人会觉得我的想法太守旧了,但是你要知道有时候老的思想才是最经典可靠的。

Loyalty
This blog is inspired by a question asked of me some time ago, it has bothered me since as it made me wonder why people depart from what I have always considered basic integrity and value as an individual.  I was asked why do I still choose to bring Professor Tony in from Brazil every year when there are cheaper and easy options around Asia. What???!!! I couldn’t believe I was hearing that.
This (sadly) points to a deeper underlying issue in modern society; the values of loyalty, integrity and honour are disappearing.
Every time I teach, I do so out of my passion for the art of jiujitsu and to share with my students, both the techniques, and life lessons I’ve learnt over my 20+ years of martial arts practice. Although as a profession, I run a BJJ school and make my living as a professional teacher; the financial aspect is not what motivates me to step onto the mat. As with other old school martial arts teachers, I am passionate about teaching jiujitsu and the fact that money paid and received has very little to do with why I am here doing what I do. The truth is that there are much easier ways to make a lot more money given the career paths that I could have chosen.
One thing that I value and ask of my students is simply loyalty, I am not talking about the loyalty that has an expiry date and only when it is convenient to do so, I am talking about the old school loyalty which survives through good times and bad times, on a sunny day or rainy day, through convenience and inconvenience. The same that you would expect to receive and give to your family and closest friends. Like many lessons in jiujitsu, this concept of loyalty also applies off the mat in the other relationships in your life. This is a value which is an important part of a person’s moral code, and like integrity and honour, it is truly tested when times are tough, inconvenient and even dangerous; not when the sun is shining and all is smooth sailing. People can be categories into three groups, those that are not loyal and only seek only self benefit, at least you know who they are. There are those are loyal no matter what, these are the people who you need to cherish in your life. And then there are those who are only loyal when it is convenient for them to do so, these are the people who end up disappointing you and rob you emotionally.
I place great value on what I have to offer and a business relationship is the least of how I regard my relationship with my students. Sure, the students pay a fee so we can rent our space, keep the lights on and put food on the table for the instructors. But what brings me the greatest joy is witnessing my students change their lives for the better through jiujitsu. I love to teach those who are willing to learn and I view my relationship with my students as one of high value and mutual benefit. Unfortunately, there are those I’ve helped and cared for who have left and in hindsight, I am much happier at their absence.
Remember that a martial arts academy is not a commercial fitness gym. A martial arts academy is not only a place to get a good workout but is also a place to mould our character, just like how the samurai and Spartans were not only skilled warriors but lived by a code of honour. Over the years, I learnt that the most valuable thing is the long term relationships that are developed and nurtured on the mat. Although people come and go, there are a group of us that have been together for close to a decade; these are the people who will be a part of my life forever and when we grow old we can all joke and laugh about the good and bad times we shared on and off the mats. As you grow older (and hopefully wiser), you realize that the martial arts is valuable tool for us to develop long lasting and meaningful relationships. Some people might consider me old fashion but some times the old school is the better way.

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