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Sense Vs. Sensibility 理智Vs.情感

(2010-12-10 23:29:52)
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杂谈

分类: MOOD

In what degree can you convince yourself to fall in love with a guy who you share no future with? That is the problem that are messing with me lately. I have come across many couples that both of them is planning future without each other but still they had wonderful time hanging out. It is true that we are not able to deal with every relationship with equal seriousness. As a result, many people, who claim that it is too exhausting to think about the future, start relationships with a couple of people, but end up nothing. I haven’t experience such kind of relationship, so I do not know whether it brings more fun or more tears. 

多大程度上你会说服自己爱上一个与你没有明确共同未来的人?这是最近困扰我一个问题。我遇到过很多情侣,他们从没有计划把对方纳入未来打算之中但这似乎并不妨碍他们享受精彩时光。我们同等重要得严肃对待每一段感情,这是真的。而正因为如此,那些觉得思考未来太累的人都经历过或正经历无疾而终的感情。从未设身处地,我不知这样的感情带来的欢乐大于悲伤抑或相反。


To be honest, I am totally not such kind of people. Too serious or too sensitive are those labels that have marked on me already. I take then and I can even  come up with more labels. But I still cannot and do not want to change. For me, a young man who do not know exactly where his or her future lies would have no chance to start any SERIOUS relationship with anyone. 

说实话,我实在不能苟同上述的观点。“过于严肃”“过于敏感”是贴在我身上的标签。我坦然接受他们,我甚至还能举出更多的定义来。但是,我不曾想要改变。对于我来说,一个连自己的未来都无法确知的年轻人是不具备合适的时机去投入到一份真正严肃的感情中的。


All because of too much uncertainties and too few certainties. Let me explain. I know what is certain. It is certain that I will be in America next year. It is certain that I am going to receive a college education. But there are too many uncertainties. I am not certain which state or which city I am going. It turns out that when a cute, charming guy shows a certain feeling for me, all I can do is turning my back on him and claiming that I am not available. Why would I resist the feeling myself and make a lie?  Why? You wanna know my answer? Because we have no certain future. What if after the sweet period of hanging out, we end up in different cities that far away form each other? What if we choose distinct path of life? What if...?

完全是因为太多的未知和太少的已知。让我举个例子。我知道什么是确定的:确定的是我明年要去美国,确定的是我明年要接受大学教育。但是有太多的不确定。我不确定我将要去哪个州,哪个城市。。。结果就是即使我遇见了一个对我示好的白马王子,我要做的只有拒之门外。为什么我要压制住自己的感觉编造一个谎言呢?为什么?原因在于我们没有共同的未来。如果对方根本没有出国的打算呢?如果对方去的地方和自己要去的地方相差千里呢?如果我们各自选择了截然不同的人生方向呢?如果。。。?

I though I was right at the beginning. But after the witness of those happy couples who have the same so called “uncertain” situation like me, I started to doubt. It is easy to doubt my believes especially when I am seem to be the only person who think that way. I then start to think about when is it the proper time for me to have the proper chance to start a serious relationship. In the college? “No” would be my answer because during the college we are still not sure about my future. Then when it is the time? The time that I already a middle-aged woman who have a stable financial source and a satisfactory job? Of course not. But to meet my standard of my principle  it seems to be the only proper time. No. I certainly do not want to be an old lady who spends her entire life dreaming about love. I want to experience it now.

我一直觉得自己很有道理。但是当看到和我有相同的我所谓的“未知未来”的同龄朋友毫无担心的向伴侣投入感情的时候,我不禁有些动摇,特别是我似乎是唯一一个这样思考的人的时候。于是乎,我开始思考什么时候才是真正合适的时机去开展一段真挚的恋情。在大学吗?不。因为那个时候我仍不能确定自己的未来。那么什么时候才是?是我已经成为了一个拥有满意工作并有稳定收入的中年妇女的时候吗?哦!当然不是了。但是要想满足我的要求,这似乎是唯一合适的时间。天那,我可不想当一个终生只能幻想爱情的老女人,呵呵。是的,我想现在就体验爱情的感觉。


Then I figure out my problem. It does not lie in the issue of “WHEN”, it lies in the issue of “WHO”. I still have not met a guy who makes me forget all my so called “proper principles”. So nothing is a problem. My principle is still true and right. But that can only applied to learning and other stuff. When it comes to LOVE, which someone calls it the “betray of sense”, nothing is right, nothing is wrong. All we have to do is to follow our hearts. I am looking forward to the moment when I meet someone that makes my heart beat fast. I am really looking forward to that moment.  Wish me luck.

之后我找到了问题之所在。关键不在于何时,而在于何人。我还没有遇到那个让我不再理会所谓的准则的那个人。那么任何事情都不再是问题了。我的准则仍然是正确的,但这种思维方式只适用于学习或其他的方面。当涉及到了情感,更具体得说爱情的时候,爱情就是对理性的背叛,无所谓对错。我们需要做的只是追随心灵,跟着感觉走。我期待着那个让我心跳加速的人的到来。我真心的期待。祝我好运吧。


Lena Mou

HONG KONG

12/02/2010  Thursday


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