Roman Holiday Script
A Paramount Picture
presenting GREGORY PECK
and introducing AUDREY HEPBURN
in WILLIAM WYLER'S Production
with EDDIE ALBERT
HARTLEY POWER HARCOURT WILLIAMS MARGARET RAWLINGS
and TULLIO CARMINATI PAOLO CALINI CLAUDIO ERMELLI PAOLA
BORBONI ALFREDO RIZZO LAURA SCOLARI GORELLA GORI
Screenplay by IAN McLELLAN HUNTER and JOHN DIGHTON Story by
IAN McLELLAN HUNTER
This film was photographed and recorded in its entirety in Rome,
Directors of Photography
FRANK F.PLANER A.S.C HENRI ALEKAN
HAL PEREIRA WALTER TYLER
Edited by ROBERT SWINK A.C.E.
Costumes. . . . . . . . . . . . .EDITH HEAD
Assistant Directors . . . .HERBERT COLEMAN PIERO MUSSETTA
Make-up Supervision. . .ALBERTO DE ROSSI WALLY WESTMORE
Sound Recording by . . .JOESEPH DE BRETAGNE
Associate Producer ROBERT WYLER Music Score by GEORGES AURIC
Produced and Directed by WILLIAM WYLER
Roman Holiday, Transcribed by Graham (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A newsreel begins: -PARAMOUNT NEWS- NEWS FLASH A commentator
describes the newsreel showing Princess Ann at several ceremonies
in various European locations.
NEWSREEL. Paramount News brings you a special coverage of
Princess Ann's visit to London, the first stop on her much
publicised goodwill tour of European capitals. She gets a royal
welcome from the British as thousands cheer the gracious young
member of one of Europe's oldest ruling families. After three
days of continuous activity and a visit to Buckingham Palace, Ann
flew to Amsterdam where Her Royal Highness dedicated the new
International Aid Building and christened an ocean liner. Then
went to Paris where she attended many official functions designed
to cement trade relations between her country and the Western
European nations. And so to Rome, the eternal city, where the
Princess' visit was marked by a spectacular military parade
highlighted by the band of the crack Piersa Yeri Regiment. The
smiling young Princess showed no sign of the strain of the week's
continuous public appearances. And at her country's embassy that
evening, a formal reception and ball in her honor was given by
her country's ambassador to Italy.
fanfare sounds. The Master of Ceremonies appears and the people
clear a path down the middle of the hall in front of him. The
Master of Ceremonies announces "Her Royal Highness"-first in
Italian, then in English. The orchestra starts playing as the
Master of Ceremonies walks down the newly-formed aisle. Princess
Ann, resplendent in her ballgown, diamond tiara, and necklace,
appears at the door accompanied by the Ambassador in formal
military dress. Behind them follow together the Countess Vereberg
and General Provno, and others. As the company walks slowly down
the aisle, Princess Ann smiles and nods her head to acknowledge
the guests who line their path. They bow as the Princess walks
past them. As they reach the front, the Princess and the others
step onto the dais as the orchestra finishes playing. The dais is
furnished with chairs-a large one in the center. The Princess and
the others stand, facing the guests. Princess Ann is about to sit
when the Ambassador discreetly stops her with a hand on her arm.
As they stand waiting, the guests form in a line in front. The
Master of Ceremonies announces them as they walk forward to greet
her, in turn.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES. His Excellency, the Papal Nuntius,
Monsignor Altomonto. Ann greets him warmly in Italian, shaking
his hand; he replies, in Italian.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES. Sir Hugo Macy de Farmington.
ANN [he bows to her] Good evening, Sir Hugo.
SIR HUGO [shaking her hand] Good evening, Your Royal Highness.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES. His Highness, The Maharajah of Kalipur; and
ANN [shaking the Rajkumari's hand] I'm so glad that you could
THE RAJKUMARI. Thank you.
THE MAHARAJA [shaking Ann's hand] Thank you, madame. [The Master
of Ceremonies announes the next couple, in German].
ANN [hidden beneath her dress, she takes her right foot out of
its shoe and stretches it] Guten aben.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES [as Ann puts her foot back] Prince Istvan
ANN. How do you do? [he kisses her hand] The Master of
Ceremonies announces the long German name and title of the next
ANN [holding the woman's hand as she curtsies] Guten aben. [She
greets the man as he kisses her hand]. The Master of Ceremonies
announces the next couple. As she greets them, Ann rubs her tired
right foot against her leg. Much later on and Ann is still
greeting the guests.
ANN [greeting another couple] So happy.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES. The Count and Countess von Marstrand.
ANN. Good evening, Countess [holding her hand the woman curtsies.
To the Count]. Good evening.
COUNT [kissing her hand] Good evening. [Suddenly, Princess Ann
loses her balance as her foot slips over her shoe, knocking it
over. The Count's eyeglass pops out in surprise and he smiles
back as she regathers herself. The Ambassador looks down in
disappointment at her error. The Master of Ceremonies introduces
the next couple-a Senor and Senora].
ANN [she tries to manipulate her shoe back into position which
has been knocked over and she greets the couple, disguising her
discomfort] Good evening [the man kisses her hand]. The Master
of Ceremonies announces the next guest as Ann pushes her shoe
again in an effort to right it.
ANN [as the man bends, gesturing with his hand in greeting] How
do you do? As the last guest moves back Ann looks around
anxiously, trying again to right her shoe, resulting in her
pushing it further away. The Ambassador then motions her to sit
down. As she sits back into the chair with the Ambassador and the
Countess on either side her dress pulls back, revealing the shoe.
The orchestra starts playing a waltz. Ann tries as
inconspicuously as possible to drag her shoe back with her foot.
The General, standing behind her frowning, motions to the
Countess to look at the shoe. She looks down at it and closes her
eyes in horror. The Princess stirs in her seat trying to get her
shoe back, fiddling with her gloves as cover. A man standing
behind the Ambassador motions to him and he shrugs and gets up,
bowing and presenting his arm to the Princess. The Princess rises
and, pausing for time to regather her shoe, is lead onto the
ballroom floor by the Ambassador. Taking her up to dance he looks
at the area in front of the eat and, relieved that the shoe isn't
to be seen, continues dancing with her as the other guests watch.
Later on and the dance floor is filled people. Princess Ann
dances with a short, lively gentleman who rattles off rapid
Spanish phrases to her. She listens, nodding and smiling
politely. Still later and she dances with a short, elderly
gentlemen. They smile and nod to each other silently. Later again
and Ann dances with a somewhat remote gentlemen. She almost
speaks so as to strike up a conversation, but thinks better of
bed dressed in her nightgown, her hair let down. She picks up the
skirt of her nightgown and drops it.
ANN [brushing her hair] I hate this nightgown. I hate all my
nightgowns. And I hate all my underwear too.
COUNTESS [coming over to tend to her bed, dressed in a bedrobe
and wearing glasses] My dear, you have lovely things.
ANN. But I'm not two hundred years old! [Dropping down on the
bed] Why can't I sleep in pyjamas?
COUNTESS [looking up as she folds the sheets into place] Pyjamas!
ANN. Just the top half. [The Countess takes off her glasses,
shocked, then walks over to the window. Ann pulls the covers over
her, sitting up] Did you know there are people who sleep with
absolutely nothing on at all?
COUNTESS [opening the window] I rejoice to say that I did not.
ANN [lying against the headboard, smiling as she hears distant
music coming in through the window] Listen. [She jumps up out of
bed and runs over to the window, looking out].
COUNTESS. Oh, and your slippers. [She goes to fetch them from
beside the bed as Ann looks out with pleasure at the dancing
going on far below in the distance] Please put on your slippers
and come away at the window. [Ann walks back to the bed,
dejected, as the Countess shuts the window. The Countess holds a
tray] Your milk and crackers.
ANN [taking the tray; as the Countess helps her pull the covers
over her] Everything we do is so wholesome.
COUNTESS. They'll help you to sleep.
ANN [stubbornly] I'm too tired to sleep-can't sleep a wink.
COUNTESS [putting on her glasses, taking a diary from the
bedtable] Now my dear, if you don't mind: tomorrow's schedule-or
schedule [(skedule)], whichever you prefer-both are correct.
[Running through the items with a pen] Eight thirty, breakfast
here with the Embassy staff; nine o'clock, we leave for the
Polinory Automotive Works where you'll be presented with a small
ANN [disinterested; absently playing with a napkin] Thank you.
COUNTESS. Which you will not accept.
ANN. No, thank you.
COUNTESS. Ten thirty-five, inspection of food and agricultural
organisation will present you with an olive tree.
ANN. No, thank you.
COUNTESS. Which you will accept.
ANN. Thank you.
COUNTESS. Ten fifty-five, the Newfoundling Home For Orphans. You
will preside over the laying of the cornerstone; same speech as
ANN. Trade relations?
ANN [chewing a cracker] For the orphans?
COUNTESS. No, no, the other one.
ANN. 'Youth and progress'.
COUNTESS. Precisely. Eleven forty-five, back here to rest. No,
that's wrong... eleven forty-five, conference here with the
ANN. 'Sweetness and decency' [she rolls her eyes].
COUNTESS. One o'clock sharp, lunch with the Foreign Ministry. You
will wear your white lace and carry a small bouquet of (& ANN)
very small pink roses. [The Countess looks up, unimpressed.
Continuing, as Ann drinks her milk from a glass] Three-o five,
presentation of a plaque. (ANN [to an imagined guest] Thank you.)
Four-ten, review special guard of * Police. (ANN. No, thank you.)
Four forty-five (ANN. How do you do?) back here to change (ANN
[becoming distressed] Charmed.) to your uniform (ANN. So happy.)
to meet the international-.
ANN [screaming at the Countess] STOP!!! [Looking away, her hair
covering her face] Please stop! stop...!
COUNTESS [retrieving the tray] It's alright, dear, it didn't
spill [she places the tray on the table].
ANN. I don't care if it's spilled or not. I don't care if I
[throws her head into the pillow] drown in it!
COUNTESS [putting her hands on her shoulders to comfort her] My
dear, you're ill. I'll send for Doctor Bonnachoven.
ANN [turning over, facing the opposite way] I don't want Doctor
Bonnachoven; please let me die in peace!
COUNTESS. You're not dying.
ANN [facing the Countess] Leave me. [Sitting up, shouting at her]
COUNTESS. It's nerves; control yourself Ann.
ANN [throwing herself on the pillow, beating it with her fist] I
don't want to!
COUNTESS [standing up straight, speaking with authority] Your
Highness [Ann continues blubbing]. I'll get Doctor Bonnachoven
[she heads for the door].
ANN [looking up as she leaves] It's no use; I'll be dead before
he gets here [she gives a defiant blub]. Later, the Countess
enters the bedchamber, followed by Doctor Bonnachoven and the
General. They walk to her bed and the doctor looks at Ann, who
DOCTOR [to the Countess, puzzled] She is asleep.
COUNTESS. She was in hysterics three minutes ago, Doctor.
DOCTOR [he puts his Doctor's bag on the table and bends over to
her; quietly] Are you asleep, ma'am?
ANN [without moving] No!
DOCTOR. Oh. [He feels her forehead then takes a thermometer from
his bag] I'll only disturb Your Royal Highness a moment, ah?
ANN. I'm very ashamed, Doctor Bonnachoven; I-[the Doctor places
the thermometer in her mouth] suddenly I was crying.
DOCTOR [reassuring] To cry-a perfectly normal thing to do.
GENERAL. It most important she be calm and relaxed for the press
ANN. Don't worry, Doctor: I-[takes the thermometer out] I'll be
calm and relaxed and I-I'll bow and I'll smile and- I'll improve
trade relations and I, and I will...[she throws herself onto the
pillow, in hysterics again].
COUNTESS. There she goes again. Give her something, Doctor,
DOCTOR [holding up a syringe from the bag] Uncover her arm,
please, hmm? The Countess uncovers her arm as the General looks
ANN [calming down; without looking up] What's that?
DOCTOR. Sleep and calm. This will relax you and make Your
Highness feel a little happy. It's a new drug, quite harmless.
[As he injects her the General faints behind them, unnoticed]
ANN. I don't feel any different.
DOCTOR. You will; it may take a little time to take hold. Just
now, lie back, ah?
ANN. Can I keep just one light on?
DOCTOR. Of course. Best thing I know is to do exactly what you
wish for a while.
ANN [smiling] Thank you, Doctor.
COUNTESS [the Countess looks round at the General on the floor]
Oh, the General! Doctor, quick!
ANN [sitting up] Hah! [she puts her hand over her mouth, covering
GENERAL [embarrassed; straightening his bedrobe] I'm perfectly
alright. [To the Princess] Goodnight, ma'am. [He bows and
DOCTOR [bowing, smiling at the Princess] Goodnight, ma'am.
ANN. Goodnight, Doctor. The Doctor leaves, followed by the
Countess, who turns off the light and, looking back at the
Princess, shuts the door behind her. Alone, the Princess looks
around the large room at the lavish, ancient ornamentation on the
ceiling and the huge sculpted headboard. She lies back, and then,
remembering, eagerly climbs out of bed and runs to the window.
She looks out longingly at the dancing below, the breeze blowing
in her face then out over the city, the buildings lit up in the
night far in the distance. Thinking, she looks back at the door
and then back out the window, then she runs to her wardrobe, and
starts rummaging in the clothes hung there.
her gloves from the dresser, she peers out the door of the
bedchambers. She sees a guard sat at the end of the wall stir in
his semi-sleep. Pausing as she closes the door, she goes out of
the side window onto the balcony outside. She walks along to the
edge of the adjacent balcony, jumping down with a slight noise
onto the ground. Glancing furtively around she goes inside to a
large, empty room. She pauses for moment to look around on either
side and then continues. Going through the door she finds herself
on a corridor upstairs, encircling the large central area. She
runs along to the end, turning the corner and then onto the other
side. She continues on, reaches a staircase and goes down it
towards the exit. Outside, still in the grounds of the Embassy,
she runs along a courtyard area. The shadow of a man walking
appears where she has just come from but she reaches safety at
the other end before he can see her. Running through the
buildings further she pauses, her back against a wall. Looking
round the corner she sees a man jump out of a small supply truck.
While he is gone she runs over and quietly hops into the back of
the truck. The man comes back and throws a couple of bags into
the back where she is hiding. He then gets in, starts the motor,
and drives off. Guards at the entrace of the Embassy grounds open
the doors and the little truck drives out. Ann peers back over
the top of a bag to see the guards closing the doors again as the
Embassy recede into the distance. She looks round with delight,
moving the bag out of the way, leaning her arm on some goods to
see out the back better. She watches the truck go past a sidewalk
cafe, busy with people, then waves to a couple driving behind on
a scooter; the woman waves back at her. The goods rattle in the
back as the truck bounces around, and Ann rests on a box, closing
her eyes. The truck continues through the city but Ann is
awakened when the truck stops for a couple walking across the
street in front. As it is stopped she hops out, running to the
footpath as the truck screeches away. She leans against a tree,
yawning then continues on. Crossing a street, she walks straight
across the passenger cabin of a horse-drawn carriage parked
alongside the pavement, to the bewilderment of the passengers and
driver. The cab drives away as Ann continues on. A light pours
from the window of a room on the second floor of the building the
carriage was parked in front of...
Inside the room are sat Joe Bradley, Irving Radovich, and several
other men around a poker table.
CARD PLAYER 1. Bet five hundred.
JOE [placing his bet down, firmly] Five hundred. How many?
IRVING [placing his bet] One. The others still in the game place
CARD PLAYER 1. I'll take one.
CARD PLAYER 2. Three.
JOE. Fool, boy. [Checks his cards; bets more] Two for papa.
CARD PLAYER 1 [places a note in the pool] Five hundred more.
JOE [following] Without lookin'.
IRVING. Five hundred; and, er [clears his throat], raise you a
thousand. Joe looks at him suspiciously. Irving rubs his beard
but stays unemotional. Joe places his money in the pool.
CARD PLAYER 1 [laying his cards down] Two pairs.
JOE. Oh, well I got three shy little sevens.
IRVING. Er, a nervous straight [lays his cards down; Then, with
relish] Come home, you beauties. [Counting his money as he picks
it up; Joe looks on grimly] Now, look at that: six thousand five
hundred-ah, not bad, that's ten bucks. [As the dealer gathers the
cards back and Joe does up his tie] Er, one more round and I'm
gonna throw you gents right out in the snow... The remaining
players objective to his leaving: Say-; what-; wait a minute-,
IRVING. I got to get up early: date with Her Royal Highness who
will [dramatically] graciously pose for some pictures.
JOE. What do you mean, early? My personal invitation says eleven
CARD PLAYER 1. Couldn't be anything to do with the fact that
IRVING [smiling] It could.
JOE. It works out fine for me: this is my last five thousand and
you hyenas are not gonna get it. [Putting his money in his
pocket, patting Irving on the back] Thanks a lot, Irving.
JOE [getting up] See you at Annie's little party in the morning.
IRVING. Ciao, Joe.
JOE [picking up his jacket off the back of the chair] Yeah, ciao.
[The other men say goodbye: Goodnight, Joe; Ciao; Stay sober,
IRVING [as Joe leaves] Alright! a little seven card stud.
CARD PLAYER 1. Ok with me.
down by a park bench. Princess Ann is lying on it and Joe glances
at her curiously as he walks by.
ANN [sounding drunk because of the drug's effect] Sooooo happy.
[Joe stops, turning round to look at her. Interrupting, as Joe
almost walks on] How are you this evening? [She stirs on the
bench, luxuriously] Mmmmmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... mmmmmmmmmmm..."
JOE [rushing over to prevent her from falling off] Hey! hey, hey,
hey. [Turning her on her back] Hey, wake up!
ANN. Thank you very much, delighted.
JOE. Wake up.
ANN. No, thank you. [Raising her gloved hand to him] Charmed.
JOE [tentatively, shaking her hand] Charmed too.
ANN [after a pause] You may sit down.
JOE. I think you better sit up; much too young to get picked up
by the police.
ANN [as he straightens her] Police?
JOE. Yep, po-lice.
ANN. Two-fifteen and back here to change. Two forty-five...[she
wavers slightly, not fully awake].
JOE [putting a foot up on the bench] You know: people who can't
handle liquor shouldn't drink it.
ANN [she looks up at him] If I were dead and buried and I heard
your voice beneath the sod my heart of dust would still rejoice.
Do you know that poem?
JOE. Huh, what do you know? [Sitting down] You're well-read,
well-dressed; you're snoozing away in a public street. Would you
care to make a statement?
ANN. What the world needs is a return to sweetness and decency in
the souls of its young men and-[unable to support it, her head
falls on his shoulder] mmmmmhhhhhhhhmmmmm.....
JOE [he takes his money from his breast pocket and puts it into
his trouser one] Yeah, I er, couldn't agree with you more, but
erm-[hears a car approaches and whistles. A taxi pulls up. Joe
gets up, pats her on the shoulder]. Get yourself some coffee;
you'll be alright. [He goes over to the cab, looks back to see
her lying back down. The driver notices too and looks away
innocently when he sees Joe looking at him. Joe goes back over to
Ann, trying to stir her] Look: you take the cab.
ANN [without stirring] Mmmmm. Joe looks back at the driver who
rests his arm against the window, impatiently.
JOE. Come on; [takes her up by the arm] climb in the cab and go
ANN [as she drags herself to her feet, helped by Joe]
Mmmmm...mmmmmm, so happy.
JOE. You got any money?
ANN. Never carry money.
JOE. That's a bad habit.
JOE. Alright, I'll drop you off; come on. [He leads her to the
ANN [brightly; noticing it for the first time] It's a taxi!
JOE. Well, it's not the superchief. [He follows her into the
CAB DRIVER [says something in Italian] Where are we going?
JOE [to Ann] Where do you live?
ANN. Mmmmmm? [Closing her eyes] Colliseum.
JOE. Now, come on, you're not that drunk.
ANN [laughing] If you're so smart I'm not drunk at all. I'm just
being [her head falls against his chest] verrrrry haaaappy......
JOE. Hey, now, don't fall asleep again.
CAB DRIVER [first speaks something in Italian] Where are we- we
going? [Joe says something in Italian, impatiently.] Ok. [Turns
JOE. Look, now where do you wanna to go? Hmmm? Where shall I take
you? [Holding her jaw, shaking her head; Ann moans in annoyance]
Where do- where do- where do you live? Huh? huh? Come on. Come
on, [lightly slapping her face with his hand] where do you live?
[The driver looks back, unimpressed] Come on, where do you live?!
ANN [mumbling, half-asleep] I....ohhhhh....Colliseum.
JOE [hopelessy; to the cab driver] She lives in the Colliseum.
CAB DRIVER [shakes his head] It's wrong address. Now look, senor:
for me it is very late tonight ... [some Italian] ... wife ...
[more Italian] ... I have three bambinos-three bambinos, you
know, bambino? [he pretends to cry like a small child] My- my
taxi go home, I- I go home er to- together. Senor-.
JOE [giving up, sitting back] Villa Marguta, fifty-one.
CAB DRIVER [pleased, finally] Villa Marguta, fifty-one. [Pleased]
Oh, [some Italian]! The taxi drives off. The cab arrives outside
CAB DRIVER. Yes, Villa Marguta fifty-one. [some Italian] I am
very happy. [Joe looks grimly at Ann, asleep beside him] Thousand
lira [some Italian]. Joe responds in Italian. He reaches into
his breast pocket then, remembering, his trouser one and gives
the driver the money].
CAB DRIVER. One, two, three, four mila*. [Gives him back some].
JOE. Ok. [Says something in Italian then gives him back the
money. The driver thanks him in Italian]. Ok, ok. Now look: take
a little bit of that; take her wherever she wants to go. [The
cabbie thinks for a moment, unsure] Hmmm? Capito? Capito. [Some
Italian. The driver nods and they say goodbye to each other. The
driver takes one look at Ann sitting asleep and quickly calls out
to Joe as he leaves].
CAB DRIVER. Oh- no, no; moment, moment, moment! No, no, no [the
cabbie pulls him over by the arm] (JOE. Alright). No, no, no.
JOE [leaning down to the window] Alright, alright; look: as soon
as she wakes up, see? she tell you where she want to go. Ok.
CAB DRIVER. Moment, moment: my taxi not for sleep; my taxi-no
sleep. You understand? you understand?
JOE. Look, look, pal: this is not my problem, see? I never see
her before. Huh? Ok.
CAB DRIVER. It's not your problem, it's not my problem. What you
want: you don't want girl, yeah? Me don't want girl-. Police:
maybe she want girl.
JOE [he relents] Stay calmo, stay calmo, ok, ok, ok. [some
Italian, reassuring him as he opens the cab door and drags Ann
to keep awake. He arrives at the front door. As he stops, leaning
forward to open it, Ann rests her head on his shoulder. Before
going through he straightens causing her to stand up, balancing
herself, and then goes through; Ann follows. He shuts the door
behind her, taking her by the hand up the steps. Without thinking
she walks around the outside of the small spiral stairwell
instead of following him up so Joe turns her around with his
hand, leaning over the railing from above (ANN [blissfully
unaware as he leads her around] So happy.), and leads her back
around to the bottom of the steps (ANN. So happy.) and up the
right way. She staggers up steps after him, stopping by a door
as Joe goes to unlock his one a few steps up. In her stupor, she
raises her hand and is about to knock on the neighbour's door
when Joe sees her, running over to catch her hand just in time.
He leads her to the door and unlocks it. He goes in and turns on
JOE [muttering as Ann follows him in] Out of my head. [He shuts
the door behind her].
ANN. Is this the elevator?
JOE [offended] It's my room. [He turns on a lamp at the other end
of the room, by the bathroom door].
ANN [she almost topples over, walking to the bed and putting a
gloved hand on the endboard to steady herself] I'm terribly sorry
to mention it, but the dizziness is getting worse. [Looking
around] Can I sleep here?
JOE. That's the general idea. [He walks over and opens a wardrobe
on the landing next to the front door].
ANN [poetically] Can I have a silk nightgown with rosebuds on it?
JOE [walking over to Ann, presenting her with some pyjamas] I'm
afraid you'll have to rough it tonight-in these.
ANN [with delight, taking them] Pyjamas!
JOE. Sorry, honey, but I haven't worn a nightgown in years. [He
goes over to open another cupboard by the lamp].
ANN. Will you help me get undressed, please? [she stands ready,
head raised expectantly].
JOE [pauses, unsure, then goes to her] Er...ok. [He undoes her
necktie, sliding it away fom her neck; presenting it to her] Er,
there you are; you can handle the rest. [She looks at it,
blankly, then takes it]. Joe walks over to the table by the
front door, pouring a drink into a glass from a bottle, and
ANN [just putting down her last glove] May I have some?
JOE [firmly] No. [Puts his glass down, going over to her] Now
ANN [shaking her head] This is very unusual. [Unbuttoning her
cuffs, then the bottom button of her blouse] I've never been
alone with a man before, even with my dress on. [Pulling up her
blouse out of her skirt] With my dress off it's most unusual.
[With a half-laugh] Hm, I don't seem to mind. [Smiling at him as
she starts to open the remaining buttons] Do you?
JOE. I think I'll go out for a cup of coffee.
ANN [amused] Hm.
JOE [pulling out a pillow from the bed] You'd better get to
sleep. [She starts to sink onto the bed (ANN. Hm?); he catches
her] Oh, no, no; [pointing to the ottoman at the side, leading
her over] on this one.
ANN [still working on her buttons] How terribly nice.
JOE. Hey, hey: [bringing the pyjamas from the bed, presenting
them to her] these are pyjamas; they're to sleep in; you're to
climb into them, you understand?
ANN [taking them] Thank you.
JOE. And you do your sleeping on the couch, see?-not on the bed,
not on the chair: on the couch; is that clear?
ANN. Do you know my favorite poem?
JOE. Ah, you already recited that for me. [He goes to get some
blankets from the bed].
ANN [as he lays them out on the ottoman] I refuse a* rose from a
couch of snows in the Aquasaromian* Mountains. Keats.
JOE. If you just keep your mind off the poetry and on the
pyjamas, everything'll be alright; see?
ANN. It's Keats.
JOE. I'll be- it's Shelley. I'll be back in about ten minutes.
ANN [to her back as he goes to the door] Keats. [She shakes her
head, looking at the pyjamas slightly confused. Thinking better
of it, Joe takes the bottle and places it on top of the tall
cupboard on the other side of the door. He opens the door and
goes through. Ann turns to face him] You have my permission to
[her skirt slides down] withdraw.
JOE [stopping in the doorway] Thank you very much. [He goes out;
Ann resumes her task of getting undressed].
At the Embassy. The Ambassador is sat at a table, the Countess in
a chair in front and the General standing next to her. All are in
their bedclothes. A man marches to the desk.
SERVANT. No trace, Your Excellency.
AMBASSADOR. Have you searched the grounds?
SERVANT. Every inch, Sir, from the attics to the cellar.
AMBASSADOR. I must put you on your honor not to speak of this to
anyone. I must remind you that the Princess is the direct heir to
the throne. This must be classified as top-crisis secret. Have I
SERVANT. Yes, Sir.
AMBASSADOR. Very well. [The man turns and marches out. He turns
to the other two]. Now we must notify Their Majesties. The
General looks up at him, worried; the Countess looks up at the
General, standing, and turning to the Ambassador who looks at
them, waiting for an affirmation. Receiving none, he stands up
himself and walks from behind the desk.
Joe arrives back at his apartment building, closes the outside
door, and walks up the stairwell. He unlocks the front door and
JOE [about to say something] A-. [Disappointed on seeing her
asleep in his bed] Oh... Looking at her, he slams the door shut,
hard, but she doesn't move a muscle. He goes over to the other
side of the bed and moves the table out of the way, making room.
Then brings the ottoman over and places it next to her. He takes
off his jacket, puts it down and loosens his tie. Then he grabs
the undersheet beneath her and then, calculating, lifts it up
quickly, throwing her from the bed and onto the ottoman. She
stirs slightly after the disturbance, resuming her comfortable
ANN [muttering] So happy.
JOE. The pleasure's mine. [He puts the pillow on the other end of
the bed, muttering as he goes to get undressed] Ah, screwball.
following bulletin: "A SPECIAL EMBASSY BULLETIN REPORTS THE
SUDDEN ILLNESS OF HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCESS ANN."
Daytime. A clock in the city strikes 12 noon. Waken by the clock,
Joe stirs in his bed. As the clock continues to ring he rises in
bed, looking out the window as the sunlight streams in. He grabs
an alarm clock, looking at the time, and shaking it.
JOE Holy smoke, the Princess interview-[Ann stirs, half-asleep,
with a questioning "hmmm?"] eleven forty-five. [Ann makes annoyed
noises as she buries herself back into the pillow] Oh, shut up.
Joe jumps up, pulling the curtain back to see outside. He rushes
to the wardrobe but stops, going through his clothes laid over
the chair, retrieving a piece of paper. He puts it back as goes
back to the wardrobe to get his clothes.
Outside the window of an American News Service office. Mr.
Hennessy comes to the window, looking down onto the street
several stories down to see Joe getting out of a taxi, hurriedly
paying the driver. He then sits at his desk, looking through the
morning papers. The headline of the Rome American article,
accompanied by a picture of the Princess, reads: "Princess Ann
Taken Ill: Press Interview Cancelled". Another paper, in Italian,
has an article, also with a picture of the Princess. Joe arrives
in the newsroom, reaching for a phone on a desk.
NEWSMAN. Hi, Joe.
SECRETARY. Good morning, Joe.
JOE. Hello, honey. [He goes over to the secretary, borrowing a
drink of her coffee as she holds it].
SECRETARY. Mr. Hennessy has been looking for you.
JOE. Uh-oh. [He takes some bread from her desk, ripping off a
piece and giving it to her, keeping the rest] Thanks a lot, hon.
[He knocks on the door behind the secretary].
HENNESSY [from inside, angrily] Come in. Joe braces himself,
exchanging a worried glance with the secretary, and then marches
confidently into the office.
JOE [taking a mouthful as he shuts the door behind him; walking
to Hennessy's desk] You've been looking for me?
HENNESSY. Just coming to work?
JOE [innocently] Who, me?
HENNESSY. We start our days at eight-thirty in this office; we
pick up our assignments-.
JOE. I picked up mine last night.
HENNESSY. What assignment was that?
JOE. The Princess, eleven forty-five.