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双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)

(2010-12-29 23:20:30)
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分类: 双语学习系列

双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)Best known for her role as a sharp-suited lawyer, the actress talks about battling anorexia, coming out and finding happiness.

以干练律师形象为人们熟知的的这位女演员谈起她对抗厌食症,出柜和寻找幸福的旅程。

 

Who knew, when Portia de Rossi appeared looking like a Hitchcock blonde in a tight grey lawyer’s suit in Ally McBeal, that she was anorexic? Everyone was pin-thin on that show. She didn’t stand out as being the thinnest – the press fixated on Calista Flockhart’s skin and bones – but then, fearing that she didn’t stand out was what drove de Rossi to the extremes of thinness in the first place.

当Portia de Rossi身穿灰色紧身律师西服套装出现在电视剧Ally McBeal中,看起来就像希区柯克电影里典型的的金发女郎,谁会猜到她是位厌食症患者呢?那部电视剧中所有人都出奇的瘦,她并不是其中最瘦的-但是媒体的注意力都集中在演员Calista Flockhart那皮包骨头的小身板上。可正是担心自己不够引人注目,使得Portia de Rossi把自己对于纤瘦身材的追求推向了极致。

 

Who knew when, in the same hit TV show, she pranced about in her und双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)erwear to seduce her male boss, that she was gay? Nobody knew. She went out of her way to hide it, even marrying an actor and keeping up the pretence of the happily married wife for two years.

谁曾想过,当她在Ally McBeal里大秀身材穿着内衣引诱男上司的时候,现实中的她其实是一名女同性恋呢?没人知道。她曾经想尽了法子要隐藏自己的同志身份,为此甚至还和一名男演员结婚,假装幸福地将那段婚姻维系了两年。

 

Now 37, de Rossi has written a surprisingly open memoir, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, and is married to the world’s most famous lesbian, the award-winning American talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres. She is the opposite extreme of her once closeted “don’t ask, don’t 双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)tell” self.

现年37岁的de Rossi不仅写了一本坦诚得惊人的自传-《无法承受的轻盈:得与失的故事》,而且早已经和世上最著名的拉拉,获奖无数的美国著名脱口秀主持人Ellen DeGeneres结婚了。现在的她和未出柜时的自己那种“不问,不说”的状态真是截然相反。


Today, as she orders penne with Roma tomato for lunch, she insists she is eating-disorder free. DeGeneres “saved” her from all that. We meet in a Beverly Hills hotel. She is wearing a tight, dark green and blue wool dress, thick wool tights and high-heeled ankle boots. She still looks skinny, but not skinnier than Terri Seymour, Simon Cowell’s ex-girlfriend, who has just been interviewing her for an American TV show, Extra. So let’s just say she’s regular Hollywood size.

而今,当她点意大利面和罗马西红柿当午饭,她告诉我们自己已经不再厌食了。是Ellen DeGeneres救她超脱了那所有的痛苦。我们是在贝弗利山酒店见的面。她穿着一条紧身的蓝绿相间的羊毛裙子,厚羊毛的紧身衣和一双高跟的矮梆靴子。她看起来还是很瘦,但没有Simon Cowell的前女友Terri Sermour那么夸张。Terri最近也感为美国一档电视节目-Extra而采访过Portia。所以,咱们还是说Porita看起来就是好莱坞女星的标准身材。

 

Her book is a gripping story about dealing with the combined shame, as she saw it, of gayness and fatness.In it she relates how, as a teenage model in her native Australia, she would starve herself before shoots. She started dieting at 12 and by 15 she was attending weight-loss classes at Jenny Craig, weighing less than the goal weight of most of the other people there. At one point, doctors even prescribed a diet drug called Duromine to help her keep her weight down.

书里她讲述了一个扣人心弦的故事,描写了这一路自己是怎样承受着由臃肿的身材以及自己同志身份所带来的那份羞耻感的。书中还提到,作为一个来自澳大利亚的少女模特,她会在拍摄照片前节食,而且12岁就开始节食。在15岁时她还参加了Jenny Craig的减肥班,尽管当时她的体重比班里其他人的理想体重还要轻。那时候,她的医生开了一种名叫 Duromine的减肥药帮助她控制体重。

 

“I was terrified people would find out I was average,” she says now. “I was terrified people would look at me and think I had an ordinary body. I was terrified that peop双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)le would find out I changed my name. [She invented Portia de Rossi, inspired by Shakespeare. Her real name is Amanda Rogers.] My sexuality was a very difficult thing for me to come to terms with.”

"我曾经很害怕别人认为我很平庸,害怕别人发现我的身材很平凡,害怕别人发现我改过名字.”portia采访时说。【portia原名是Amanda Rogers。她自己造出了Portia de Rossi这个名字,是受莎士比亚的影响(Portia是莎翁《威尼斯商人》中一个角色)】“我的性取向也曾经让我很难释怀。”

 

It was her mother who found The Joy of Lesbian Sex under her bed when she was 16 (her father had died of a heart attack when she was 8), but even then de Rossi didn’t know for sure. She spent the next few years at law school thinking she was bisexual and then after her first film, the successful Sirens, alongside Elle Macpherson and Sam Neill, she decided she couldn’t be gay as an actress and promptly married a man she met on her second film, Mel Metcalfe.

尽管16岁时她的母亲在她床下发现了一本《拉拉性爱之欢》。【她的父亲在她8岁时就因心脏病去世】但当时连Portia也还并不确定自己是不是同性恋,后面在法学院的那几年里她一直认为自己是双性恋,再接下去,她便第一次参演电影,与Elle Macpherson,Sam Neill合作了后来大热的影片《Sirens》。此后她便决定要当演员就不能做同性恋,随即与其在拍摄第二部电影时认识男演员Mel Metcalfe闪电结婚了。

 

“We had a good relationship. I did love him, but I realised something was missing, and what was missing was the intimacy I felt with a woman. I don’t think it is about sex; it’s about intimacy. It’s the way that, when I would feel really excited and energised with someone, it was always with a woman. And when I was very young I would get very excited to see my best friend after school vacation. Of course I didn’t think it was a crush back then. It took me a long time to figure it out.”

“我们有一段很不错的感情,我确实爱过他,但我意识到我们的关系缺少亲密感,而这种亲密感是我和女人在一起才能感觉到的。我不认为这和性有关,是缺少亲密的感觉。是那种对另一个人的兴奋,激动的感觉,对于我来说,总是和女人在一起的时候才能感觉到。我小的时候总是会对将要在假期后见到我最好的朋友感到兴奋,当然那时候我并没有意识到那时我对她的爱慕之情,后来我花了很久才弄清楚到底是怎么回事。”

 

双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)The figuring out took the form of replacing her sexual angst with body angst. It was as if the ultimate goal of thinness would bring acceptance and she wouldn’t have to worry about her sexuality making her a misfit. This convoluted way of thinking was further exacerbated by the industries she chose to throw herself into.

她对性倾向的焦虑慢慢变成了对自己身材的焦虑,她认为如果能减到最终的目标体重,就能赢得别人的认同,不必再担心自己性向会使自己不合群。而她加入演艺圈的选择也进一步加剧了她的这种极端想法。

“A lot of people were hard on me, too. It was my profession. If I was modelling and I didn’t fit into the clothes, it would be humiliating and I wouldn’t be booked into another job. I was medium-boned, not small-boned like the other girls, so I was forced to diet. The end of a job would always trigger a binge because I wanted the comfort of food and because I was starving. ‘The camera adds 10lb’ is something I’ve heard since I was a young girl, so in 1998 when I joined Ally McBeal I felt I should lose weight. When I did, everyone praised me and made good comments.”

“当时很多人对我要求也很严格。那是职业要求。如果身为模特的我穿不进样衣,那太丢脸了,并且我再也不可能接到别的工作了。我的骨架比较大,比一般当模特的女孩儿们大一些,所以我被迫要节食。一项工作结束以后总会导致我暴食,因为我一直饿着所以需要食物的安慰。我从小就听说镜头会增加10磅,所以98年我进入Ally Mcbeal剧组的时候我觉得自己应该减肥。但我减肥成功了,所有人都赞美我。”

 

Does she think that because Ally McBeal star Calista Flockhart was the focus of so many anorexia rumours people didn’t notice her own disappearing act?

“I think we have to put it in context. It was the end of the supermodelera and actresses became the new models. Actresses were on the front of magazines and had beauty campaigns. There was a lot of pressure on young actresses to be model-thin.”

Portia是否认为当时人们关注的焦点都放在Calista Flockhart那些厌食传闻上,都没人注意到Calista根本没有演技可言? 双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)

“我觉得我们应该结合当时的客观环境看这个问题。那时候是90年代,超模霸占封面的时代刚刚结束,女演员们成了新的模特。她们开始出现在杂志封面上,代言美容产品。对于年轻的好莱坞女演员而言,来自外界的诸多压力都要求她们得像模特一样苗条。

 

Insecurity about not being good enough or thin enough and carrying a big secret were a potent cocktail, but it’s still amazing to think her eating disorder went unnoticed for so long in Hollywood. The Ally McBeal wardrobe department simply kept getting suits a size smaller: 6, 4, 2. She was praised for her thinness, for her discipline, which involved getting up at 4am to run on a treadmill, and eating only 300 calories a day by consuming meals that included 1oz of yoghurt or a tiny portion of tuna fish, eaten with chopsticks so it would last longer. She didn’t even brush her teeth in case she imbibed calories through her toothpaste. For the same reason, she stopped using lip gloss.

害怕自己不够优秀,担心自己不够瘦,还要掩藏自己的性取向,她的生活自然是一颗烟雾弹,可想到她患厌食症的事情在好莱坞这样的环境里竟然真能那么多年都不被发现,依旧是令人惊讶的。 Ally McBeal剧组的服装部门把Portia的衣服尺寸做得越来越小了,6号,4号到2号。她因为苗条而受到赞美,按照她严酷的作息表,每天早上四点就起床在跑步机上跑步,每天只摄入300卡路里,喝1盎司量的酸奶或者很少一点金枪鱼,她还用筷子吃饭使进食过程延长。她甚至因为害怕牙膏或唇彩会使得自己摄入额外的卡路里而不敢刷牙或用唇彩。

 

Her whole day was dedicated to the ritual of preparing food in tiny portions that she would sometimes not even eat, and to expunging calories by ruthless exercise regimes. There would always be 105 sit-ups for the five she might not have done properly. She even had a nutritionist, supposedly to stop her yo-yo dieting.

她每天都忙着把食物装成很小份,只吃一点点,有时候甚至都不吃东西,还要通过残酷的运动来减肥。她经常会做105个仰卧起坐,多的那五个是因为她害怕其中的几个她做得不标准燃烧不了预定量的卡路里,所以要补上。还还请了一个营养学家,来帮助她防止体重反弹。 双语学习系列第三期:Portia出书后接受的专访(上)

 

“I had already relied on my 300-calorie starvation diet to get ready for a modelling job, but my nutritionist taught me how to do it properly. How to weigh my food and put it in a food journal. These were the tools I needed to become obsessed. It felt very scientific – now I had complete control over my food. It enabled me to feel powerful and I had this feeling of logic: it was given to me by a nutritionist, therefore it was healthy.” Except she drastically reduced the amount of calories and lied in her food journal.

“我已经根据自己这套300卡路里的饥饿节食法为模特工作做好准备了,但我的营养专家告诉我该怎么样做才更妥当跟健康。教我怎么称量食物并把吃的东西写进一个食物日记里,我开始对这些方法感到痴迷了,我觉得这个方法很科学,现在我已经能够完全掌握我吃的食物了。我感到更有力而且跟有据可循,因为这是营养学家教我的,所以这方法很健康。” 除了她那时偷偷地减少摄入量并在食物日记上撒谎这一点显然没那么健康。

 

Nonetheless, no one seemed to notice she was disappearing until, on the set of the first Hollywood movie in which she had a starring role, Who Is Cletis Tout?, her bones could no longer hold her up and her muscles could no longer move her. She collapsed. She weighed 5st 12lb and she looks tall for her 5ft 6in. She was diagnosed with osteoporosis, and was forced to seek help at an eating-disorder clinic.

然而,并没有人注意到她的日渐消瘦,直到在拍摄她第一部领衔主演的好莱坞电影《Who Is Cletis Tout》时,她的骨头已支持不了身躯,肌肉也不能活动自如,她晕倒了。那时候她体重只有74.4斤,对于她1.68的身高来说显然太瘦了,她被诊断为骨质疏松症,不得不在一家饮食失调诊所就诊。

 

Has she ever had any relapses?

“No, not since I stopped dieting, but it took me a while. I went from 82lb to 168lb[12st] in six months. It took another two years to realise that diets don’t work because I’m part of the 95 percent of people who can’t stick to a diet. I stopped having any kind of relationship with food.”

那么她有复发吗?

“不,自从我停止节食后就没有厌食的情况了,我六个月里从82磅增加到168磅【穿12号衣服】,我又花了两年的时间才认识到节食对我没用,因为我属于百分之九十五的那部分不能够坚持节食的人,我不会再在吃的问题上纠结下去了。”

 

 [注:文中所用图片未必与内容相关。PS.这次的小编超级HC Portia的,题外话太多请见谅。]

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