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(2010-10-13 18:51:46)
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画廊

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分类: 画廊

昨天回到法国,除迫不及待的和孩子们分享国内的见闻外,就到处巡视画廊的每处细节。。。。。。

画廊的博客在国内就已经有了雏形,如何选放博文成了一个难题。在回法国的途中也在思考拿什么面对观注画廊的博客前辈们。由于本人没有专业特长也注定这个板块的不专业性。白菜烧罗卜,大蒜加咖啡也可能。。。既然是与画廊有关就先介绍于一道有关的文件吧

Gifts 礼物                                                               Humphrey Wou

Chinese translation by Zeng JInyan and Gu Hua

 

I think I try hard not to be religious. But when life deals you an experience that is so spiritual, you can’t help but thank the Creation.

我尽力不涉足宗教。但上天给我一段如此奇妙的经历,让我不由地感恩造化。

Seven years ago when I started to explore China’s grassroots movement, Wang Xiaogang was one of the first environmentalists I met. Within thirty minutes I felt a strong sense of kinship as if this was a person I could trust my life to. Through him, I met his wife, Isa.

七年前,我开始进入中国调查草根运动。王晓刚是我认识的第一批环保活动家之一。与他见面不到三十分钟,我就认定他是我的生死之交。进而我认识了他的妻子,伊莎。

 

Seven months ago, when Isa was visiting her brother on Reunion Island, near Mauritius east of South Africa, she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. How could this be? I was in her home in Kunming only weeks before she left China, talking to her, sharing my projects in China, and watching her read bedtime stories to her children. How could she have only months to live?

七个月前,伊莎去毛里求斯附近的团圆岛探访她的哥哥时,被诊断出肺癌晚期。这怎么可能呢!就在她离开中国前的几周,我还在她昆明家中畅谈,分享我在中国的项目,看着她给孩子念睡前故事。突然之间,她的生命就将走到尽头!

 

When it became clear that Isa was no longer able to travel back to China, Xiaogang sold everything he owned and moved with his children to Reunion, a French colony. Xiaogang, like most Chinese men I know, does not speak one word of French. His five-year-old son has become his translator. Holding his family together in a foreign environment has become a great challenge to Xiaogang.

意识到丽莎再也无法回到中国了,晓刚卖掉家中的一切,和孩子一起搬到这个法属小岛。晓刚和我认识的大部分中国男人一样,一句法语也不会说,他五岁的儿子也就当了他的翻译员。在一个完全陌生的国家,在即将失去挚爱妻子的时候,把家支撑下去,这种艰难只有晓刚自己知道。

 

On December 4th, I went to Reunion Island. It was a long journey getting there. It took me three days to fly from the U.S. to Hong Kong to Mauritius to Reunion. I couldn’t go sooner because I had a fundraiser in SF at the end of November. Xiaogang and I were not sure if Isa would be able to hold on that long, because on October 30th, Isa did die. She had no pulse, no heartbeat and was almost pronounced dead. Everyone else gave up and left the room, but Xiaogang kept calling to Isa, "Come back. Come back." And she woke up and said that she was hungry. She had no memory of her being dead. But she did see a calm place where the vague images of people were welcoming her, and she then saw a dark tunnel, and then Xiaogang's face staring down at her. Isa’s humor was very much intact. She told Xiaogang that she went over to the other side to check for good real estate.

十二月四日,我去了团圆岛。这是一次漫长的旅程,从美国飞香港再飞毛里求斯最后飞往团圆岛,一共花去三天的时间。由于十一月底我在旧金山要主持一个筹款晚会,我无法提前赶去。我和晓刚都不确定伊莎是否能撑到我抵达,因为十月三十号,伊莎差点死去。那时她已经没有脉搏没有心跳,就要被判定死亡时,大家都不抱希望,离开了她的房间,只有晓刚一直在那里呼喊:回来!回来!突然她醒过来,直叫饿。她不知道自己濒临死亡,只是看到一个宁静的地方,模模糊糊中有人在欢迎她,后来又看到一个黑乎乎的隧道,接着就看见晓刚凝视的脸。伊莎的幽默感一点也不减,她对晓刚说自己先去那边看看合适的房地产。

When I saw Isa, my first impression was her thinness. Her legs looked like baseball bats and her arms like broomsticks. There were two or three plastic tubes going into her body to drain the fluids in her lungs, most of which had already collapsed and punctured. Even with high pressure oxygen pumping into her, breathing was laborious. She refused morphine because the drug would cloud her mind. It was important for her to be present for her mother, her husband, and her children.

看到伊莎的第一眼,发现她非常瘦,两腿像棒球棍,胳膊像是笤帚柄。她的肺部大部分已经穿孔溃烂,两三个塑料管穿入她的身体以排出肺部的积液。尽管输入高压氧,她的呼吸还是非常困难。为了思想不受药物影响,她拒绝使用吗啡。伊莎要保持清醒,与她的母亲、丈夫和孩子共度最后的时光。

 

At one point, I was alone with her (thanks to Xiaogang giving me the private time). She wanted to sit up. But I couldn't help at all. All the tubes in her body caused her a great deal of pain even with the slightest movement. Her face contorted and turned purple instantly. I, all of a sudden, realized that she had been lying in one position for the entire month. But besides Xiaogang, Isa never talks about how painful she feels. The patients in the other rooms, even with pain meds, would scream, curse, or hit the nurses and doctors. Isa on the other hand greets and jokes with everybody as if she was standing in a supermarket check-out line.

感谢晓刚,让我有机会和伊莎独处。她想坐起来,但我一点忙也帮不上,眼睁睁第看着她受苦。任何轻微的移动,这些插入伊莎身体的管子都会带来剧痛,她的脸瞬间扭曲着变成紫色。突然间,我意识到她整个月都是保持一种姿势躺着。但是,除了晓刚,伊莎从来不提她有多痛。其他房间的病人,即使用着吗啡,还痛得直叫唤、咒骂,甚至打医生和护士。而伊莎和大家谈笑风生,似乎她在超市排队结算时与人闲聊。

 

One day, Lingshan, the eldest son, was having a little fit and Xiaogang raised his voice a little and asked Shanshan what was going on with him. Through tears, the five year old said he missed his mom. Xiaogang took his boy to the hospital that night and let him sleep with Isa. Shanshan spent a long time chatting about everything under the sun with his mom.

有一天,大儿子灵山闹脾气,晓刚提高声音问他究竟怎么了。这个五岁的男孩哭着说她想妈妈。那晚,晓刚把孩子带到医院让他和母亲一起睡。灵山和妈妈聊了许久,几乎说尽天底下的事情。

 

Xiaogang understands his kids. He foresees the hardship that will ensue when they lose their mother. One night after dinner and after the kids had all gone to bed, Xiaogang and I turned off all the lights on the porch. We just sat and talked. In darkness, he wept for his children.

晓刚了解他的孩子,预见到不久孩子们将承受失去母亲的痛楚。一天晚饭后,孩子们睡了,我和晓刚关掉院子里所有的灯。我们坐下来聊着。黑暗里,他为孩子们流下眼泪。

 

Xiaogang also understands me. That night, I told him about the death of my lover. We were both lucky men to have been so loved by people so wonderful. We were both lucky men in that through loss and death, we were learning the value of life.

晓刚也了解我。那晚,我告诉他我也失去了心爱的人。但我们都是幸运的人,被如此优秀的人深爱过。经历了失去和死亡,我们更加理解生命的价值。

 

How do you measure the value of life? Definitely not longevity. Not long ago, Isa had a vision. She saw a Buddha-like deity figure asking her what she would want to do if she was granted more time. Her answer was very clear that she wanted to help people through suffering. Isa told me that she would like to do the kind of work that I am doing for the rural sick.

什么是生命的价值?绝对不是长命百岁。不久之前,伊沙有过一个异象,一尊佛陀问她:如果给你更多的时间,你想做什么?她非常明确地说:我想帮助人们脱离苦难。伊莎对我说,希望和我一样,帮助农村生病的人们。

 

So her vision gave all three of us an idea. Like any idea, it evolved. It started with Xiaogang wanting to sell his collection of Tongka, Tibetan religious paintings. He knows that he would be able to get good money for them and he wanted to donate the proceeds to my organization.

这一异象使我们三人有了一个想法。然后水到渠成形成创意。一开始是晓刚想卖掉他收藏的唐卡(藏传佛教的绘画),很值钱,然后把钱捐给我的基金会。

 

said no. I thought it would be much better to create a fund under Isa's name to do what she wishes. We would call it the Isa Fund.

我说不要那样做。我建议用伊莎的名字创立一个基金会,实现她的心愿,延续她的事业。就叫做伊莎基金会

 

Xiaogang liked the idea very much and then he told me that Isa once owned a consulting firm in France. The company name in French sounded like Yi-Dao. My eyes lit up.  Yi-Dao, in Chinese, means "together." And it also implies Isa’s full name, Isabelle Daronnat.

晓刚非常赞成这个想法,并告诉我伊莎在法国曾拥有过一个咨询公司,法文名字听起来发音像Yi Dao 我眼前一亮,不就是一道吗?一道去做有意义的事情,而且它又隐示了伊莎的名字,Isabelle Daronnat

 

Lastly, it was Isa. She told us that for the last two years, she felt lost, purposeless. She had a successful business and loving family. She supported her husband’s environmental projects, but those were not her own convictions. Something was missing. Even at this final stage of her life, she was surrounded with “small conversations” about mundane affairs. It was clear to her now what she had to do. There was a reason she didn’t die a month ago. There was a reason she kept her mind clear. There was something important for her to finish. She started jotting down her ideas in a small notebook.

然后,伊莎告诉我们,生命的最后两年里,她感觉自己迷失了方向。伊莎事业成功,家庭美满,同时还支持丈夫的环保工作,可那都不是她自己的理想。伊莎总感觉到有缺憾。甚至在她生命的最后阶段,伊莎都被生活中琐碎的小话题环绕着。但是,现在,她非常清晰地知道自己要做什么。这就是一个月前她没有离开人世,至今她还保持着头脑清醒的原因:她还有未完的重要工作。她开始在一个小记事本上写下她对一道的设想。

So what did we talk about? Dao, or the way, appears in Buddhism, Daoism, and Christianity. This abstract word to us means love and compassion. The mission of Yi Dao is to call on everyone's compassion to help our next generation. We talked about hope, the future, alleviating suffering, dignity, rebuilding communities and families. We talked about launching the Foundation in Beijing in two years. Everyone who loves Isa and Xiaogang will be there to celebrate Isa's dream. Within a short while, we were fighting to finish each other’s sentences. Isa was back to the person she used to be, spirited and full of enthusiasm.

我们到底谈了些什么?,也是路,它体现了佛教、道教、基督教的共性。这个抽象的字对我们来说意味着仁爱和慈悲。一道的宗旨是唤起每个人的同情心,帮助我们的下一代。我们谈到希望、将来和如何减轻痛苦,谈到尊严,以及重建社区和家庭。我们设想在两年内在北京启动这个基金会。每个爱伊莎和晓刚的人都来见证伊莎的梦想。我们越讲越兴奋,三个人争着说话,伊沙又回到了从前的样子,充满了热情和活力。

 

I didn't take a single picture of Isa on this visit to share with you. I think you can understand why. But I do want to tell you that Isa is well in her heart and soul. Not many people can say: death is not the end but a beginning of something new. Isa surely can.

此行我没有给伊莎拍照,我想你们能理解。但我非常想告诉你们,伊莎的心灵平静、安详。并非人人会像伊莎这样说:死亡不是终点而是新的开始。

But my philosophical belief didn't prevent me from breaking down in front of Isa when I had to leave the Island. The last time I cried like a small boy whose toy had been taken was when my lover told me that he would die that night. I held Isa’s hand and didn't know how to let go of this spiritual woman, this loving mother, this compassionate soul. It was the thought of the future Yi-Dao that got me through on the long plane ride back to China. How strange that life can be so gloomy and uplifting at the same time!


 

当我不得不离开团圆岛的时候,在伊莎面前几近崩溃,此时我的哲学思想毫无帮助。上一次我也哭得像个孩子,那时我的爱人告诉我他活不过当晚。我抓着伊莎的手,不知如何放开,如何放手让这一个有情、有爱、有心的人走。在长时间的回程飞行中,唯一能使我停止流泪的事情就是思考将来的一道基金会。生命太奇妙,它能让我同时又悲又喜。

Finally, may I quote from something Xiaogang and Isa often said lately, "This is life, this is living. These, all the joy and pain, life and death, are all gifts of life."

晓刚和伊莎最近经常说:这就是生命,这就是生活。所有的欢乐和痛苦,生命和死亡,都是生活给我们的礼物!

To Isa.

 献给伊莎。

 

 

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