加载中…
每次记录博文，得到博友们的讨论和留言，是美美和外面世界最好的交流；每次看到评论，姐妹们总是会谈一谈自己的亲身经历，感悟体会，也是美美心灵成长的营养；美美经历的很多母亲都在经历，或者曾经经历，天下做母亲的，都是一样伟大，我们爱孩子，怎么爱是一门学问，美美一直在学习和领悟，也希望和姐妹们一起，做一位孩子们都欣赏和热爱的好妈妈！
中国农历正月十五
中国农历正月十五
（我们早餐吃汤圆，晚餐吃西餐！儿子第一次钓到四条鲈鱼，成为了盘中餐！）
这是农历新年之后，美美和儿子之间爆发的一次大冲突！算一算日子已经过去半个月，如果今天再不记录，美美就会很快忘记了！美美的记性不好，特别是对于不愉快的事情，很快会被喜悦的瞬间掩盖，找不到痕迹！但是如果不愉快一次又一次重复的话，美美不喜欢烦恼的生活，就会放弃努力，离开伤心的环境，回避喜欢制造不愉快的人！
美美自己是善解人意，将心比心的女人，也希望生活在懂得感恩，懂得珍惜的人群之中！很庆幸的是在美国大家庭中，美美找到了这种感受，这种氛围！儿子六年没有和美美生活在一起，六年中偶尔相聚，一些矛盾来不及爆发，一些冲突不容易发现！真正生活在一起了，又加上儿子正是青春期，对于妈妈的不屑一顾，逆反争执一触即发！
每个家庭过日子，衣食住行，吃喝拉撒，这些事情每天重复着，购物是日常生活中经常的事情！美美以前在国内不下厨房，想得多的只是自己的日用品；来美国也是两人世界，饮食用品简单，也不用考虑太多！儿子来到美国，做妈妈的非常关注健康饮食，日常用品，做妈妈的女人最清楚家里需要准备什么食物，日用品又需要补充什么了！
中国农历正月十五
男人购物思想简单，单子开着照着拿，拿完之后想要很快离开！女人思想细腻，男人想不到的方面，女人需要补充；男人看不到的方面，女人需要照顾！老公已经习惯性的说美美是购物狂，儿子听到了，也说妈妈是购物狂，妈妈说：采购一些日用品和食物是生活需要，不然怎么过日子？！儿子继续说：妈妈你就承认错误吧，你难道从来没有错？你为什么从来不认错？妈妈为这个家操心，为这个家准备食物，妈妈哪里做错了，DAD这样说，是一种习惯，不是对于妈妈购物不满意和责备！
第二天，我们家里又需要补充一些食物，儿子不愿意下车，美美采购时，特地购买儿子喜欢的几种巧克力还有玉米片，回到家里，儿子埋怨妈妈耽误时间，还鹦鹉学舌讥讽妈妈的英语发音，碰巧美美的生理期，身体不适的美美，心情脆弱！当时老公在准备晚餐，美美很伤心，止不住的泪水，坐在餐桌也停不下来，美美说自己生病了，离开了餐桌！老公也清楚我们母子之间的冲突，儿子也感觉事情的严重，嚷嚷着：妈妈，我错了！你赶快来吃饭吧！美美勉强的小试几口，大家都不再说话！晚餐之后，儿子邀请老公玩游戏，老公拒绝了，和美美浏览了最近的几篇博客，很早的回到了卧室！
亲子游戏之后，儿子和妈妈都开始健身了！
又过了两天，我们需要为儿子购买新床，邀请儿子去选择，儿子说想要在家里，又埋怨美美总是喜欢购物，喜欢指挥。。。美美说：你说不去就可以了，不需要又埋怨我！我们去商店为他定制了新款的床，我们一路上讨论着儿子在美国的事情，最近几次和妈妈的冲突（还有很多次的小矛盾，美美也不记得了。）老公说他也是感觉儿子不懂得尊重母亲，几次在我们之间协调和交流，儿子还是过两天就忘了，不礼貎的言行又溢于言表...回家之后，老公写下了一封信：孩子你为什么来美国？！
Son, we
discussed this several days ago. Today, I say
that you must understand, and you must understand now.
There are
many things different in America. One thing is
that in America, you will obey your mother. And I
mean you will obey your mother today, tomorrow, next week, next
year, and forever as long as you live with us. I
will not tolerate your actions like today.
I do not know
what you have been taught in China about women.
And I am not saying that what you know is wrong,
in China. I do say that your actions are not
correct in America. I do say that you will not
be disrespectful to any woman in America. I say
that you will never be disrespectful to your mother again.
NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!
Please
understand that I do not criticize China or Chinese ideas, or
Chinese teaching. I am saying that it is not the
same here, and you will learn these differences, if you want to
remain in America. You must make a choice, and
you must choose now. Do you want to become
American? Or do you want to remain
Chinese?
Son, if you
want to remain Chinese, you must return to China.
I do not want you to go, and your mother does not
want you to go. But if you choose to remain
Chinese, if you want to continue to act as a Chinese boy, then you
should return to China. It is unacceptable for
you to continue to act as you act now.
If you choose
to become American, then you must think before you speak.
You must think before you speak every time!
So long as you are here, you will do several
things that are different than what you know:
You will be
respectful to all women. Yes, all women.
You will show respect to the girls in school,
teachers, old women on the street, my sisters, your cousins, and
most important, you will respect your mother. I
do not want to hear you argue with her again.
Never! You do not have to agree
with what she says, but you must comply with her instructions.
Remember that you are still a young boy, and I
realize that you are smart and think you know much, but the fact is
that you are a boy, and you do not know very much about life and
life lessons.
I want you to
think about this for a while, and we will discuss tomorrow.
Do you love
your mother?
Do you know
that your mother is a very good woman?
Do you
respect your mother?
Why did you
choose to come to America?
What are the
reasons for this choice?
What were
your expectations of moving here?
I will gladly
teach you how to act and how to behave in America.
But you must understand that learning these
things is not a choice, it is a requirement if you remain here.
You must understand that some of your behaviors
are not acceptable here.
I can teach
you how to present yourself to the world, so other teens don't
think you are crude or uncouth. I can teach you
how to think, so you can become successful in America.
But you must choose to open your mind and learn
many, many new ideas. You must choose to change
your philosophy, and it must be your choice! If
you do not choose, then you will not learn, and you will not be
successful.
Son, I only
say these to make you think, and to make you choose.
And you must choose.
You choose
one of the following:
You choose to
learn to behave as an American, with American values, and American
responsibilities, OR you choose to remain Chinese.
I want you to
think about this choice. You are a very smart
boy, so I know you will understand that this is serious, not a
joke, not for fun.
You choose,
and tell me and your mother your choice. And tell
us what your plan is based on your choice.
有些妈妈说：等待吧，等孩子大一些，会懂得尊敬和孝顺！美美微笑面对每一天，珍惜生活每一天！也希望身边的每个人都是如此，大家生活在一起开开心心，和和美美！美美知道有一天儿子也会懂事，也会懂得珍惜，美美只是希望这一天早日来到，早一些把我们的人生感悟让他了解和理解，年轻时就获得成功和幸福，很好的享受人生！
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