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Cornell 学生申请 ESSAY 辅导--生命科学类

(2011-03-22 14:44:12)
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杂谈

分类: 美国留学

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences:

How have your interests and related experiences influenced your selection of major?

When I was a little girl, I used to keep small animals at home. I had keep not only some normal pets like dog, rabbits, chick, gold fish, and hamster, but also some strange creatures like several different kinds of crabs, frogs, crowds of small stream fish, hermit crabs, lizards, spider, a white jade snail, garden snail, baby dragonfly and mantises in my childhood. And, as I lived in a small city which was closed to country side, I always caught butterflies and made specimens by myself. These experiences made me feel interested in the animals of the nature.

I realized my interests in this field since my middle school. When I was very new in approaching science, I felt the natural organisms were so incredible that I devoted all my spare time in reading books about them, such as The Marvels of the Insect World and The Animal Sketch. Also, I watched some documentaries, for example, Traveling Birds, and TV shows like Wild Planet and Men and Nature. I kept a white jade snail as my birthday present from my science teacher. The snail, which was much bigger than the species’ normal size, began to lay eggs on a Saturday afternoon a month later. It was a fancy time for me that I evident the whole process by chance. The bright-yellow colored eggs came out of the soft white body gently from a hole on the snail’s back. I tried to count the amount of the eggs, but there were too much of them. So I used a small graduate for help. I found that the graduate, which could hold 20ml liquid, could put about 15 eggs, and I filled it 12 times while there were still 9 left. In conclusion, the total number of the eggs is about 189, incredible! Since I was shocked by the giant number of eggs that the snail produced, I gathered much information about the life of the snails’ and why they produced so many eggs.

After I entered high school, I joined a group study for competition in biology subject. During the two years in the group, I spent most of my spare time studying the biology textbooks for college students by my self. Finally, I won a prize in the competition. After the period of learning, I learned more about the subject, but as I knew more, I felt biology more fascinating and mystery. I still feel that biology is my favorite. Thus, I decided to devote my life in it, though I knew it would not be an easy road to work on.

 

胡嘉西点评:

如果是普通的学校申请,我觉得也就是阐述自己兴趣爱好的形成,这篇文章也就马马虎虎,没什么亮点可言。要过也能过。但是如果是Cornell 大学,我个人认为是不够的,虽然题目很简单什么样的兴趣和经历让你选择了这个专业。 如果是我写,我会只写一件事情,并且从头描述这个事情的细节,无须任何铺垫,把事情写的丰满,比如开头就切入主题;举个例子吧!中国有句古话,“七十三八十四,阎王不请自个去”,是什么样的原因会对于人的生命描述会在七十三和八十四两个年龄段那么的悲观,是什么样的生活环境或人体机能为什么在这两个阶段那么的脆弱,你可以提出你的想法,你可以展开你的联想,如果你的思考生命的进化有相关联的地方,那么你就会写出好文章。兴趣是可以从对一件事情的好奇开始,从中感觉生命的奇迹以及在生物星球中感受多样性带给你的人生感悟。

Cornell 不是一个很容易对付的学校

 

 

 

 

 

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