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Monologue精选:短时间内不会走的很远

(2011-07-26 21:13:38)
标签:

洪博培

犹他

共和党

金里奇

时代广场

杂谈

分类: Monologue精选

"Former governor of Utah, Jon Huntsman, is running for president. He's one of those guys that can do everything — he speaks Chinese. In a couple of years we'll all be speaking Chinese, so who cares?" –David Letterman

前犹他州长洪博培宣布竞选总统。他是那种什么的都会的人,他会说汉语,不过那没什么,过几年我们都会说汉语。

"Jon Huntsman is so little known, when he announced for the Presidency he had his name written on his hand." –Jay Leno

洪博培是如此的不为人所知,以至于他宣布参选时,将自己的名字写在了手上。

Yesterday a Delta airlines flight made an emergency landing at a wildlife refuge in Hawaii. When the lions saw the passengers they said, “Do you believe this? Delta’s actually serving food!” –Jimmy Fallon

昨天三角航空公司的一架航班在夏威夷的野生动物避难所紧急迫降。当狮子看到机上乘客的时候说:你们敢相信吗,三角航空公司居然提供食物了。

“New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English." –David Letterman

共和党总统候选人洪博培能说流利的中文。短短的时间内共和党进步如此之大,上一个共和党总统连英语都说不明白。

"According to new polls, 66 percent of Americans believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news is, gas is so expensive and traffic is so bad that we won't get there for a long time." –Jay Leno

根据新的民意调查,66%的美国人认为国家正在走向错误的方向。不过好消息是,油价如此之高,交通如此之堵,我们短时间内不会走很远。

"More bad news for Newt Gingrich. One week after his campaign staff quit, his campaign finance team quit. In fact, newt was going to pull out of the race, but today the guy who writes his concession speeches quit. He can't do anything." –Jay Leno

金里奇遭遇更多麻烦,一周前他的竞选团队集体辞职了,现在他的财政团队也辞职了。实际上,金里奇本想退出竞选,但是负责写退选声明的职员也辞职了。

"Did you see that video where a crying baby is handed to President Obama? As soon as the president holds the baby it stops crying. Do you know how rare that is these days; that a politician is handed a baby from a crowd and it's not his?" –Jay Leno

你们看到那个录像了吗?一个哭泣的孩子被交到奥巴马手上后停止了哭叫。你知道这种事现在有多罕见吗?一个政治家从人群中接过一个孩子,这个孩子却不是他的。

"President Obama was in New York today. There was an awkward moment in Times Square when he saw the Naked Cowboy and said, 'Please tell me you're not a Democratic Congressman.'" –Jimmy Fallon

奥巴马今天在纽约市。当他看到时代广场的赤裸牛仔时说:不要告诉我你是个民主党的议员。

A first-edition Charles Darwin book was returned to a library in Australia, 122 years late. You could tell it was a Darwin book because it actually evolved into an iPad. –Jimmy Fallon

在澳大利亚,一本第一版的达尔文著作被返还到图书馆,迟了122年。你能看出来那是一本达尔文的著作因为它已经进化成了一部iPad。

"We're celebrating our independence from the British. I hope that in a couple years, we'll be able to celebrate our independence from the Chinese." –David Letterman

今天我们庆祝脱离英国独立的纪念日。我希望几年后的有一天,我们能够庆祝脱离中国而独立。

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