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(2)-Cindy's cherished and tearful memory

(2010-01-16 16:57:04)





分类: 家庭婚姻(Famliy/Marriage)

In 1984, I arrived in Chengdu for my 4-year study life in Chengdu Aeronautic Vocational and Technical College. (CAVTC) And after graduation, I was assigned with a technician's job in a factory, where I had my field practice. When I was for the very first time paid my 60-odd RMB yuan, I was unspeakably excited, for I knew, I wouldn't be the burden to my family any longer. When that Spring Festival approached, I got my 120 yuan bonus. Without any hesitation, I dashed to the department store to buy my mother a dark green coat, and her sweet smile in my mind accompanied me back home on the train.
        As time went by, I became busier and busier, with my family, my baby, my own business, and my study engaging almost all my time. I didn't have too many chances to visit my mother, only communicating with her through letters, and everything I put into my envelopes was about my progress and success, for the last thing I wanted was to add any sorrow or pain to the mind of my faraway mother.
        One year when I was still at the Vocational College, I was appointed as the conductor of our class choir for the Dec. 9 Singing Contest by my mentor, which was a huge challenge to me, for I could barely read any music score! In the first few rehearsals, some classmates were not satisfied with my performance and made some complaints. When I pleaded to my mentor for quitting, she reassured me that I was the best choice for this task. With no other choices, I compelled myself to make a million more efforts than anybody else. On hearing the final announcement that our class won the second prize, I secretly shed my tears, letting all my pressure and greviance out. As the delegate of my class, I parcipated in numerous speaking contests, peom recitals, dance shows, and parties, which demanded too much of my spare time. Who could see the sweat and tears hidden behind my numerous honorary titles and medals?


(2)-Cindy's <wbr>cherished <wbr>and <wbr>tearful <wbr>memory

        Thanks to my mother's persistence and insistence, I never gave in when in difficulty. Because every time, her encouraging gaze emerged in my mind, which supported me through, till the final success.
        When I recalled that singing contest many years later, I couldn't help exclaiming, "Life sometimes demands us of too much. Even though we only wanted to face what we'd planned for, we could not escape from our fate. What we could do then is to try our uttermost to embrace our obligation with qualified strength."
        Later on, my business went onto the right track, and our living condition started improving. I set my first goal – to bring my parents to Chengdu, offering them a quality old age. In 1997, I made it, buying them a two-bedroom apartment so that they might stay in Chengdu for the rest of their life.
        My mother's pure and kind heart was never polluted by the dazzling metropolis. Whenever she came across some beggars in street, she would give them some changes, and even more to those old, young and disabled ones. Though I reminded her many times of the complicated reality, she never believed that there be so many liars.
        Deeply rooted in my memory was one scene I witnessed when I went to her apartment. There was a building under construction beside her house. When she went out at lunch hour, my mother saw some migrant laborors crouching on the construction site, having their plain meal. She came back, sighing that they were too poor to afford any meat. Then, she took out one bowl of freshly cooked meat to spare them from their mere rice and pickeled pepper.
        Once when my middle school classmate, Mr. Chen's mother was dangerously ill at home, my mother carried her from the third floor to the ground so that she could get emergency treatment in time, regardless of the possibility of being infected. Luckily the aunt was saved, while my lean mother was terribly exhausted and coughed some blood out in bed.
        In fact, I could impossibly list out all details about my mother’s benignancy.
        When I was nine, my mother was in hospital for some pulmonary disease in another city. My father had to take care of her, leaving me alone at home. It was my neighboring aunts and uncles who taught me how to cook for myself. Some of her colleagues even took me back to their home in turn, letting me have meals with their family.
        Always keeping a grateful heart, this, I guess, should be my mother's ceaseless motivation for offering others her helping hand.
        Afterward, my mother got in contact with her oldest sister who worked in Xinjiang. After being separated for 30 years, all sisters and brothers of her family reunited for the very first time in their hometown.
        Thereafter, letters of love and life details were sent between them.
        In the meanwhile, I was too busy with the development of my business and study, while my spare time was taken by my kid. Pitifully, I did not visit my mother often enough. However, my mother never blamed me for that. Instead, she always stewed some chicken soup and cooked some Hunan-style dishes for me every time before I went to her apartment in holidays, and sat beside me, watching me devouring her love.
        Those days were too sweet to last long. When I was consolidating my business and planning to improve my parents' living condition, my mother's health became worse and was diagnosed as having nephropathy instead of anaemia. The continuous treatment could not reverse the worsening of her health, and my mom was aware of that. She made the last request – to visit her hometown one more time and sweep my grandparents' tomb in case there's no more chancne.
        Though my mother was rather weak at that moment, we could not say no to her. Having my business arranged, my father and I accompanied her back to Hunan. Together with our relatives, we visited the tombs of both her natural parents' and her foster parents'. When my mother saw the fixed-up tomb stones, a relieved smile appeared in her yellowish face. Before her arrival, she had asked some relatives to restore them for her – she must have regareded it as the last thing she could do for her two pairs of parents. Regardless of her killing disease, my mother insisted in finishing all rituals and feasting all helpful relatives on her own, even though she had to be supported or carried by my father and the relatives.

(2)-Cindy's <wbr>cherished <wbr>and <wbr>tearful <wbr>memory
        As soon as we went back to Chengdu, my mother was sent to hospital, and passed away one month later for uraemia, at the age of 55. When I watched my mother's breath becoming weaker and weaker until it finally stopped in the ICU, I could only kiss her face again and again, hoping that she could be woken up by my desperate desire. In my tear-blurred eyes, my dearest mother left me forever.
        Oh, my beloved mother, you surely have gone to Heaven, the only place a benevolent person like you goes to. In there, you don't have to be troubled by your diseases any more. In there, you can be surrounded by flowers you've always liked – such light purple, light blue, light pink, tiny flowers which scatter ordinarily around and look extraordinarily sweet! In there, you may stroll around, be hugged and kissed by flying angels, and hear melodious music echoing all the time.       
        The next year, my eldest aunt, in her sixties, came all the way from Xinjiang to observe my mother's first death anniversary. In front of her tomb stone, my aunt told me about their natural family.
        My mother's oldest uncle, Mr. Xiang Longzhang, devoted himself to the revolution when he was young. He studied in Huangpu Military Academy in Guangzhou, and joined the Northen Expedition. He sacrificed in a battle in Henan Province, and was rewarded by the KMT Government with an annual pension till 1949. My mother's natural father was a brave and smart young man, too. He once worked for the CPC as an underground messenger. One year, his body was curiously covered with festers. When he heard about the curing effect of snake flesh, my bold grandpa boiled a snake in a shrine. Afterwards, all festers disappeared, but all toxin gathered in one leg. When my grandpa was dying, my buddhist grandma sent him to Changsha Xiangya Hospital, a hospital founded by a church, with the help of one Christian friend. Finally, his life was saved, while that poisoned leg was amputated.
        Since my mother got in touch with her natural family, she had mailed them some subsidy in some special occasions while she was still supporting her foster parents. When her father died, she rushed back for his funeral with my father. My aunt kept sighing that my mother was really a filial daughter, and a devoting person.
        Since my mother's passing away, my aunt has been mailing me specialties of Xinjiang, like walnuts, date fruits, every autumn or winter. On every holiday and my birthday, she calls me. The love from my faraway aunt is as warm as my mother's.
        For numerous times, I want to say,
(2)-Cindy's <wbr>cherished <wbr>and <wbr>tearful <wbr>memoryDear Mama, I can never meet you in my life, but in my dream, you are always there. The last yellow sweater you wove for me is well kept in my wardrobe, being the most precious gift from you, no matter how many new dresses I will get.
        Dear Mama, I'm sure we'll one day meet in Heaven. Then, I'll be with you all the time, catching up with all details we missed about each other. We'll stroll in the grasslands, and live happily ever after.
        Dear Mama, I know you were born on a snowy day. It's now snowing in your hometown, with all flakes flying around like crystal angels. You must be one among them. Your whole life is a piece of music which comes down fron Heaven and never ends.
        Dear Mama, my weepy yearning is dancing with those flying snowflakes, forever and ever!


        This article is dedicated to my beloved mother, Ms. Qin Xueyuan.


        p.s. My grandfather, Mr. Qin Gao, used to live near Baishiyi Airport, Chongqing. It's said that he had an older sister. I'd be extremely grateful for anybody's help to offer some clue to her.


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