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Humour about marriage 婚姻的幽默

(2010-04-21 14:42:48)
标签:

杂谈

Humour about marriage


Wife:
   'What are you doing?'  
Husband:
    Nothing.
Wife:
  'Nothing?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband:
  'I was looking for the expiry date.'  

 妻子:你在干嘛?

丈夫:没啥。

妻子:没啥?你一直在看我们的结婚证书都一个小时了。

丈夫:我是在看它几时过期。---------------------------------------------


Wife
:   'Do you want dinner?'  
Husband:
  'Sure! What are my choices?'  
Wife: 
  'Yes or No.'

妻子:需要吃晚饭吗?

丈夫:肯定!我有什么选择的吗?

妻子:是或否。
____________________________________



Wife:
'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why dear?'
Hubby:
'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'  
Wife:
 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you.'
Hubby:
'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'  
妻子:亲爱的,为什么你总是把我的相片放在你的皮夹里?

丈夫:一旦出现问题,无论事情有多大,我一旦看了你的相片,所有的问题就迎刃而解了。

妻子:瞧瞧,我对你而言是多么重要和神奇啊!

丈夫:是啊!我看着你的相片问自己,有比这个人更麻烦的问题存在吗?

--------------------------------------------------------  

Stress Reliever

Girl:  'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 
Boy:
  'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'  
Girl:
  'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
解压

女孩:当我们结婚后,我愿意分担你所有的烦恼、麻烦和负担。

男孩:亲爱的,你太善良了,可是我没有任何烦恼和麻烦。

女孩:原因是因为我们还没有结婚嘛。

--------------------------------------------------------  

Son:
  'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  
Mom:
  'Well, you have done the right thing.'  
Son:
  'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'  

 儿子:妈妈,今天早晨和爸爸坐公交车时,爸爸让我把座位让给一位女士。

妈妈:你是应该作这种恰当的事情。

儿子:可是妈妈,当时我是坐在爸爸的大腿上的。


A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'  
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'  
一位刚结婚的男子问妻子:‘如果我父亲没有给我留下一笔财产你仍然会和我结婚吗?’

‘亲爱的’,女人甜美地回答:‘我会的,无论谁给你留下了这笔财产。’
----------------------------------------------------------  
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
女孩对男朋友说:给我一个吻,我将永远成为你的。
那家伙回答:谢谢你这么早的警告。
-------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'  
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

 一妻子问丈夫:‘你最喜欢我什么,我漂亮的脸蛋还是我性感的身材?’

他从她头看到脚回答:‘我喜欢你的幽默感!’

Husbands are husbands
丈夫是丈夫
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
head with a frying pan.

一男人正在看报他妻子用平底锅打了他的头。
'What was that for?' the man asked.

 ‘干嘛打我呢?’男人问。

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

妻子回答:‘那是因为我在你的裤子口袋里发现了一张写着珍妮这个名字的纸条。’
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week and Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.'

 男人说:‘那是上星期我去马场时赌马用的马名。’

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
妻子致歉继续做家务。
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

 三天以后男人正在看电视,妻子用一口更大的平底锅砸在丈夫的头上,把他打得失去了知觉。

Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

恢复知觉以后男人问她为什么又来打人。

 

Wife replied: 'Your Horse phoned!!!'

 妻子回答:‘你的马打来了电话。’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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