Unit 2 The Virtues of Growing Older

I. Main idea

This piece of writing is an attempt to subvert the “traditional” view and convince the reader that growing older is not necessarily that dreadful. The author points out a number of advantages

of growing older. These advantages are enumerated on the basis of the experiences of her brother and her own. By means of contrast (being young and being old) the author reveals true happiness and contentment in old age, which have often been overlooked.

 

II. Structural analysis

1. Divide the text into parts by completing the table.

Paragraphs	Main ideas
1-2	The writer airs her view about growing older.
3-5	The writer discusses three distinct advantages of growing older.
6	The writer winds up her discussion with reference to her parents’ life to reaffirm that growing older would be “a better phase” of her life.

2. What techniques does the author adopt to present the advantages of growing older?

The author illustrates them with examples and by contrast (being young and being old).

Text I

The Virtues of Growing Older

Carol Siskin¹

 

1             Our society worships youth. Advertisements convince us to buy Grecian Formula and Oil of Olay² so we can hide the gray in our hair. Middle-aged folks work out in gyms and jog down the street, trying to delay the effects of aging.

2             Wouldn’t any person over thirty gladly sign with the devil just to be young again³? Isn’t aging an experience to be dreaded? Perhaps it is un-American to say so, but I believe the answer is “No.” Being young is often pleasant, but being older has distinct advantages.

 

Questions

1. Why do people want to hide their gray hair and delay the effects of aging? (Para. 1)

They worship youth and are afraid of growing older, so they try every means to look young.

2. What does the writer mean when she says “it is un-American to say so” in Para. 2? (Para. 2)

She means these questions seem contrary to the values commonly held by most Americans. And the American people would do anything possible to delay aging.

3. Does the writer deny the virtues of being young? (Para. 2)

No, she does not. The writer admits the virtues of being young, but what she really wants to talk about is the advantages of growing older, which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. So the last sentence is both thematic and transitional.

 

Words and Expressions

1. convince: To bring by the use of argument or evidence to firm belief or a course of action. persuade

 

2. work out: To engage in strenuous exercise for physical conditioning.

 

3. jog: To run in such a way for sport or exercise.

 

4. delay: To cause to be later or slower than expected or desired.

 

5. aging n. the process of becoming old

e.g. People want to figure out whether doing sports can influence aging in the body.

Comparison:

  elderly a. a polite word meaning old

e.g. The building has now been converted into a retirement home for the elderly.

senior citizen a polite expression meaning old people

 

6. devil: In many religions, the major personified spirit of evil, ruler of Hell, and foe of God.

 

7. un-American: Considered contrary to the institutions or principles of the United States.

 

8. distinct a. noticeable, unmistakable

Derivation:

  distinction n.

  distinctly ad.

 

Sentences

1. Advertisements convince us to buy Grecian Formula and Oil of Olay so we can hide the gray in our hair. (Paragraph 1)

Translation: 广告使我们相信，只要购买了希腊处方染发剂和玉兰油就能使我们青春永驻。

 

3. gladly sign with the devil just to be young again (Paragraph 2)

Explanation: Literally, the phrase means to sign a contract with the devil, so that the devil would help you become young again in exchange for your soul. In the text the phrase is metaphorically used to mean be willing to do anything (even bad) to become young again.

 

3             When young, you are apt to be obsessed with 容易被外貌问题困扰（总爱纠结于外貌问题）our appearance. When my brother Dave and I were teens, we worked feverishly to狂热地修炼我们的体格 perfect the bodies we had. Dave lifted weights, took megadoses 大剂量维他命of vitamins⁴, and drank a half-dozen milk shakes 奶昔a day in order to turn his wiry adolescent frame 瘦长的青春体格into some muscular ideal某种肌肉的样榜. And as a teenager, I dieted constantly我不断地控制饮食（节食）. No matter what I weighed, though, I was never satisfied with我总不满意我的模样 the way I looked. My legs were too heavy, my shoulders too broad, my waist too big. When Dave and I were young, we begged and pleaded 乞求和争辩要买适合的衣服for the “right” clothes. If our parents didn’t get them for us, we felt our world would fall apart. How could we go to school wearing loose-fitting blazers蓬松的夹克 when everyone else would be wearing smartly tailored 精心剪裁的leather jackets? We would be considered freaks怪异. I often wonder how my parents, and parents in general, manage to tolerate容忍 their children during the adolescent years. Now, however, Dave and I are beyond such adolescent agonies青春期苦恼了. My rounded figure seems fine, and I don’t deny myself a slice of pecan pie if I feel in the mood. Dave still works out, but he has actually become fond of his tall, lanky 瘦长的frame. The two of us enjoy wearing fashionable clothes, but we are no longer slaves to style⁵. And women, I’m embarrassed 很难为情地承认to admit, even more than men, have always seemed to be at the mercy of 受时尚的支配fashion⁶. Now my clothes are attractive yet easy to wear. We no longer feel anxious about what others will think. As long as we feel good about how we look, we are happy.

 

Questions

1. According to the writer, what is the first advantage of growing older? (Paragraph 3)

Not being obsessed with one’s appearance.

2. Why are adolescents apt to be obsessed with their appearances? (Paragraph 3)

Because they feel anxious about what others will think.

 

Words and Expressions

9. apt: Having a natural tendency; inclined.

 

10. be obsessed with: have an unreasonably strong and continuous interest in particular things or persons

e.g. The new president was obsessed with the thought of being watched.

    新主席总觉得受人监视而心神不宁。

Derivation:

  obsession n.

  obsessive a.

Translation:

  她童年时一直害怕父母离异。

  The fear of her parents’ divorce obsessed her throughout her childhood.

Synonym:

  preoccupy, haunt

 

11. teens: children at the age of 13 to 19.

 

12. feverishly: Marked by intense agitation, emotion, or activity.

 

13. perfect vt. make sth. perfect

e.g. Nowadays, more and more foreigners come to China to perfect their Chinese.

Derivation:

  perfection n.

  perfectible a.

Comparison:

  improve vt. cause sth. to become better

refine vt. improve sth. by removing defects and attending to details

 

14. megadose: A large quantity of a therapeutic agent, such as a drug or medicine.

 

15. milk shake: A beverage made of milk, flavoring, and ice cream, shaken or whipped until foamy.

 

16. wiry adolescent frame: Sinewy and lean young body structure.

 

17. muscular: Having well-developed muscles.

 

18. diet: To eat and drink according to a regulated system so as to lose weight.

Collocation:

a diet of sth. so much of sth. that you feel boring or unpleasant

  e.g. a constant diet of soap operas on TV 多得令人腻烦的电视连续剧  

 

19. though: Despite the fact that; although.

 

20. waist: The part of the human trunk between the bottom of the rib cage and the pelvis.

 

21. plead vi. make an urgent, emotional statement or request for sth.

Collocation:

  plead with sb. for sth. make repeated urgent requests to sb. for sth.

 

22. loose-fitting blazers: A lightweight, often striped or brightly colored sports jacket, loosely fitting the body.

 

23. freaks: A thing that is markedly unusual or irregular.

 

24. tolerate vt. be willing to accept sth. unpleasant or difficult, even though one does not like it or

approve it

e.g. As newcomers, they had to tolerate the awful weather and the tough living conditions.

Comparison:

stand vt. accept or be forced to accept an unpleasant situation

  endure vt. accept or be forced to accept an unpleasant situation for a long time

  bear vt. accept or be forced to accept an unpleasant situation that makes one angry, sad, or upset

put up with accept or be forced to accept an annoying situation or unpleasant behavior as

part of one’s daily life

 

Derivation:

tolerant a.

toleration n.

  

24. agony: The suffering of intense physical or mental pain.

Derivation:

  agonize v.

agonizing a.

agonizingly ad.

Synonym:

  distress, anguish

 

25. slice: A thin, broad piece cut from a larger amount.

 

26. pecan: The smooth, thin-shelled oval nut of a pecan tree.

 

27. lanky: Tall, thin, and clumsy.

 

28. beyond prep. outside the range or limit of

Collocation:

  be beyond sb. be impossible for sb. to imagine, understand or calculate

  e.g. It’s beyond me why she wants to marry Burton.

  我不明白她为什么想嫁给伯顿。

Antonym:

  within

 

29. deny oneself：not do sth. that one enjoys doing or have sth. one desires to have, because he thinks that will be good for him

e.g. He denied himself all small pleasures and luxuries in his effort to live a holy life.

Comparison:

do without be able to manage without sth. one really wants to have

  e.g. No one can do without drinking water for a long time.

Translation:

  为了省钱给女儿治病，他戒烟了。

  In order to save money for his daughter’s medical treatment, he denied himself smoking.

Activity：

Fill in the blank in each sentence with a word taken from the box in its appropriate form.

 

plead         beyond        obsess         diet           satisfy          perfect       deny oneself     turn into       agony         tolerate

1.       Mozart’s _______ with piano started when he was a baby. (obsession)

2.       The shy girl in former days has _________ a pretty lady. (turned into)

3.       The _______ toothache tortured me a whole night. (agonizing)

4.       Seeing the interesting toys from the window, the little boy _____ with his mother for buying some back home. (pleaded)

5.       Shakespeare’s wife had nothing _____ Shakespeare’s second best bed. (beyond)

6.       Her parents’ marriage portion really _____ her. (satisfied)

7.       He moved to his grandfather’s home so as to _______ his Latin. (perfect)

8.       The headmaster _______ those naughty students’ behavior. (tolerated)

9.       The nurse says Richard has got to go on a _____. (diet)

10.   In order to find an expected job, she ________ all the entertainments in her internship.  ( denied herself)

 

Sentences

4. megadoses of vitamins (Paragraph 3)

Explanation: very large doses of vitamins

 

5. If our parents didn’t get them for us, we felt our world would fall apart. (Paragraph 3)

Translation: 如果父母不给我们买我们想要的衣服，我们就觉得世界末日到了。

 

6. we are no longer slaves to style (Paragraph 3)

Explanation: we no longer follow the fashion blindly

 

7. at the mercy of fashion (Paragraph 3)

Explanation: completely controlled by fashion

 

4             Being older is preferable to being younger in another way. Obviously, I still have important choices to make about my life, but I have already made many of the critical decisions that confront those just starting out. I chose the man I wanted to marry. I decided to have children. I elected to return to college to complete my education. But when you are young, major decisions await you at every turn. “What college should I attend? What career should I pursue? Should I have children?” These are just a few of the issues facing young people. It’s no wonder that, despite their carefree façade表面, they are often confused, uncertain, and troubled by all the unknowns in their future.

 

Questions

1. Is it accurate to say that older people are totally free from uncertainty? (Paragraph 4)

No, because they still have important choices to make. However, they have already made the major ones, while young people will meet theirs at every turn.

2. What is the meaning of “at every turn”? (Paragraph 4)

The phrase means “on every occasion”.

 

Words and Expressions

30. preferable a. more desirable or suitable

e.g. For me, teamwork is preferable to single action.

Synonym:

  better, superior

Antonym:

  inferior

Derivation:

  preferably ad.

  preference n.

 

31. critical a. extremely important, crucial

e.g. Facing the enemy’s invasion, the nation is at a critical time in history.

   This document is critical for all the citizens living in this area.

Antonym:

  insignificant, uncritical

Derivation:

  critically ad.

  criticize v.

  criticism n.

 

32. confront vt. deal with sth. in a brave and determined way; bring face to face

e.g. The problems confronting us are knotty.

   Confronted by a black bear, the hunter retreated.

Synonym:

  oppose, encounter

Derivation:

confrontation

 

33. await vt. wait for

e.g. A large party awaited him on his birthday.

   A big decision awaits him to make.

Synonym:

  be ready for, wait for 

Translation:

  对于这个罪犯而言，等待他的将是法律的严惩。

  For this criminal, severe punishment of the law awaits him.

 

34. pursue: To be engaged in a career or vocation.

 

35. carefree a. cheerful and without worries

e.g. Our childhood, those carefree days have gone for ever.

Synonym:

  lighthearted, untroubled

Collocation： 

keep a peaceful and carefree mind 悠闲自在

 

36. unknown n. an unknown person or thing

Antonym:

  celebrity

Collocation： 

  content unknown

  identity unknown

 

Sentences

8.    … but I have already made many of the critical decisions that confront those just starting out. (Paragraph 4)

Translation: 但是当刚刚踏入社会的年轻人在为生活中的每个重要决策感到焦头烂额之时，我已经做过很多重要的决断。

 

5             But the greatest benefit of being forty is knowing who I am. The most unsettling aspect of youth is the uncertainty you feel about your values, goals, and dreams. Being young means wondering what is worth working for. Being young means feeling happy with yourself one day and wishing you were never born the next. It means trying on new selves by taking up with different crowds.⁷ It means resenting your parents and their way of life one minute and then feeling you will never be as good or as accomplished as they are. By way of contrast, forty is sanity. I have a surer self-identity now. I don’t laugh at jokes I don’t think funny. I can make a speech in front of a town meeting or complain in a store because I am no longer terrified that people will laugh at me; I am no longer anxious that everyone must like me. I no longer blame my parents for my every personality quirk or keep a running score of everything they did wrong raising me. Life has taught me that I, not they, am responsible for who I am. We are all human beings — neither saints nor devils.

 

Questions

1. What is the meaning of “wishing you were never born the next”? (Paragraph 5)

It is related with the first half of the sentence and the complete structure is “feeling happy with yourself one day and wishing you were never born the next day (because you feel so miserable).”

2. Try to explain the phrase “keep a running score of everything they did wrong raising me.” (Paragraph 5)

It means “constantly remind myself of all the unhappy things that my parents did to me in the process of raising me.” Here “score” means “record.”

 

Words and Expressions

37. unsettling aspects: something that make people nervous.  

 

38. take up with: get along well with.

 

39. accomplished: Skilled; expert.

 

40. contrast: The state of being contrasted.

 

41. sanity: n. the state of being mentally healthy; the ability to think and behave normally and reasonably

Synonym:

  reasonableness, rationality

Antonym:

  insanity

Derivation:

  sane a.

  sanely ad.

 

42. quirk: n. a strange or unusual habit or part of sb.’s character

e.g. One of her quirks is that she is always doubtful about being watched by somebody.

   Many scientists have quirks in their life or work.

Synonym:

  oddity, eccentricity

Translation:

  他很怪，把自己的妻子称作史密斯夫人。

  He had a strange quirk of addressing his wife Mrs. Smith.

 

43. keep a score: keep a record.

 

44. saints: An extremely virtuous person.

 

45. benefit n. anything that brings help, advantage, profit

e.g. All the 11 countries get benefit from China-ASEAN Free Trade Area.

Derivation:

beneficial a.

benefit vt.

Synonym:

profit, advantage

 

46. worth a. deserving of

e.g. The football game between England and Germany is worth watching.

   The scheme is well worth a try.

这个计划倒值得一试。

Collocation: 

  not worth a straw worthless

  worth its weight in gold extremely helpful, useful, etc; invaluable

Translation:

  他觉得他的生命已经没有继续下去的意义了。

  He felt that his life was not worth a straw to continue.

 

47. make a speech speak formally to a group of listeners

e.g. Jack’s friend pleaded with him for making a speech at a wedding reception.

Synonym:

  give a lecture, lecture

Comparison:

  make a face 做鬼脸

  make a fortune 发大财

  make a fool of oneself / sb. 使自己/某人出丑

 

Sentences

9. It means trying on new selves by taking up with different crowds. (Paragraph 5)

Explanation: It means trying behaving differently from their usual selves by associating with different people.

 

6             Most Americans blindly accept the idea that newer is automatically better. But a human life contradicts this premise. There is a great deal of happiness to be found as we grow older. My own parents, now in their sixties, recently told me that they are happier now than they have ever been. They would not want to be my age. Did this surprise me? At first, yes. Then it gladdened me. Their contentment holds out great promise for me as I move into the next — perhaps even better— phase of my life.⁸ 

 

Questions

1. What evidence does the writer cite to back her view in this paragraph? (Paragraph 6)

Her parents’ example.

2. What does “this premise” refer to? (Paragraph 6)

It refers to “newer is automatically better.”

 

Words and Expressions

48. contradict vt. be opposite in nature to

e.g. The document contradicts what we heard in the conference last week.

Synonym:

  oppose, disagree

Derivation:

  contradictory a.

  contradiction n.

 

49. premise: A proposition upon which an argument is based or from which a conclusion is drawn.

 

50. contentment: The state of being contented; satisfaction.

 

51. phase n. stage of development

e.g. Usually, spring is a significant phase of a lot of illness.

   Childhood is an enlightening phase for a child.

Synonym:

  stage, period

Collocation:

  in phase being in the same state at the same time

  out of phase not being in the same state at the same time

e.g. The two subsidiary corporations’ operations were out of phase so that the headquarters could not handle the problems timely.

这两个子公司的业务活动不同步，总部因而没能及时地解决一些问题。

 

Sentences

10. Their contentment holds out great promise for me as I move into the next — perhaps even better — phase of my life. (Paragraph 6)

Explanation: Their contentment makes me believe that I’ll be as happy as they are when I am their age.

Translation: 在我迈向生命的下一个阶段，或许是更好的一个时期时，我父母的幸福感给我提供了这样一个保证：我也许会幸福的。

 

IV Exercises for integrated skills

1. Dictation

I think / that a successful old age is easiest for those / who have strong impersonal interests / leading to suitable activities. / It is in these activities / that long experience is really fruitful, / and that the wisdom born of experience / can be used / without becoming a burden. / It is no use telling grown-up children / not to make mistakes, / both because they will not believe you, / and because mistakes are an essential part of education. / But if you are one of those / who are incapable of / impersonal interests, / you may find that / your life will be empty / unless you concern yourself / with your children and grandchildren. / In that case / you must realize / that while you can still help them / in material ways, / you must not expect / that they will enjoy your company.

 

 

2. Cloze

Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded (1) against in old age. One of these is too great an absorption in the past. One should not live in memories, in regrets (2) for the good old days, or in sadness about friends who are dead. One’s thoughts must be directed to the (3) future, and to things about which there is something to be (4) done. This is not always easy; one’s own past is gradually increasing weight. It is easy to think that one’s   emotions used to be more vivid than they are, and one’s mind more keen. If this is true it should be forgotten, and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true.

The (5) other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth in the hope (6) of finding strength in its vitality. When your children grow up they want to live (7) their own lives, and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young, you are (8) likely to become a burden to them, unless they are unusually insensible. I do not mean that one should be without interest in them, but one’s interest should be considerate and, (9) if possible, charitable, but not too emotional. Animals become indifferent to their young as soon as their young can look after (10) themselves, but human beings, owing to the length of infancy, find this less easy.

 

    Hints:

       1) A preposition collocates with “guard” to mean “prevent something from happening”.

       5) Refer to the first two sentences in Para. 1.

       6) A preposition is needed to collocate with “in the hope”.

       8) Which word can mean “probable”?

 

VII Listening Exercises

You are going to hear a short speech on our aging society.

A.     1. Listen carefully. All the words and phrases in Column A will appear in the listening material. Guess their meanings and match them with their definitions in Column B.

           Column A                    Column B

 1) numerous                              A. very happy or excited

         2) preface                                 B. expectation

         3) prospect                                C. cut off completely

         4) traumatic                              D. vocabulary

         5) limb                                     E. very upsetting or difficult

         6) severed                                 F. a part of the body, like an arm or leg

         7) lexicon                                 G. introduce or begin

         8) bode well for                        H. many

         9) elated                                          I. throw away, dispose of

         10) discard                                J. be a good sign for the future for

 

2. Complete the following sentences with proper forms of the words or phrase in Column A. These sentences will help you better understand the listening material.

1) The manager   prefaced   his presentation with the minutes from last meeting.

2) Because of air pollution, we have seen some very traumatic changes in the environment.

3) There were   numerous   articles in the paper on that problem.

4) They were   elated   to hear the good news.

5) The prospect of leaving her children terrified Mary.

6) Expanding your   lexicon   in this technical field will help you a great deal.

7) The two businesses   severed   negotiations as they couldn’t agree on any of the

important issues.

8) The fish in this river are dying because local industries have been reckless in discarding 

their waste materials.

9) Many artificial   limbs__ have been prepared.

10) These early sales figures   bode well for   the success of the book.

 

B. Listen again. Complete the statements and answer the questions.

1. Statements

1) The family is a group of people related by   blood or law  , living together or associating  with one another for   a common purpose__.

2) The purpose of a family is usually to provide   shelter and food__, and to   bring up children__.

3) There are mainly two different kinds of views on family life: some could not do without   the support and love__ of their families; others say it is the source of most of our   problems and anxieties__.

4) Sociologists divide families into two general types: the   nuclear__ family and the extended__ family.

5) The nuclear family consists of   two__ generations while the extended family may

include   three or more__ generations.

 

2. Questions

1) What is the main topic of Dr. Miller’s speech?

The need to reevaluate our attitudes towards senior citizens.

2) What was Dr. Miller’s purpose in sharing the story about his grandfather?

To illustrate the worries of older citizens.

3) Why are the so-called “golden years” not so pleasant at times for older citizens?

Because this period can mean not only the decline of one’s health but the loss of identity and a sense of self-worth.

4) What do you think Dr. Miller will talk about in the next part of his speech?

The contributions the elderly can make to our societies.

5) Where does this speech most likely take place?

At a conference center.

 

Script

Moderator:

There is no definition of a “normal” family. Broadly speaking, the family is a group of people related by blood or law, living together for a common purpose. That purpose is usually to provide shelter住所 and food, and to bring up养育 children.

There are many different views on family life. Some people could not do without the support and love of their families. Others say it is the source of most of our problems and anxieties忧虑. Whatever the truth is, the family is definitely a powerful symbol. Turn on the television or open a magazine and you will see advertisements with happy, balanced安稳的 families. Politicians often try to win votes by standing for “family values”: respect for parental父母的威信 authority, stability in marriage, chastity and care for照顾/赡养 the elderly.

Sociologists divide families into two general types: the nuclear核心家庭/小家庭 family and the extended扩大的家庭/大家庭 family. The nuclear family usually consists of two parents and one or two children while the extended family may include three or more generations living together. Conflicts among generations in extended families sometimes can be extremely penetrating尖锐的. How to take care of the older generation has become a very knotty棘手的难题 problem.

Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest speaker today, Dr. Howard Miller. Dr. Miller, Professor of Sociology at Washington University, has written numerous articles and books on the problems facing older Americans in our graying渐变灰色的 society for the past 15 years. Dr. Miller.

 

Dr. Miller:

Thank you for that introduction. Today, I’d like to preface my remarks with a story from my own life, which I feel highlights our common concerns that bring us here together. Several years ago when my grandparents were well into their eighties, they were faced with the reality of no longer being able to adequately care for themselves. My grandfather spoke of his greatest fear, that of leaving the only home they had known for the past 60 years. Fighting back the tears, he spoke proudly of the fact that he had built their home from the ground up, and that he had pounded every nail and laid every brick in the process. The prospect of having to sell their home and give up their independence, and move into a retirement home was an extremely traumatic受创伤的 experience for them. It was, in my grandfather’s own words, like having a limb severed off. He was quite emphatic exclaiming that he felt he wasn’t important anymore.

For them and some older Americans, their so-called “golden years” are at times not so pleasant, for this period can mean not only the decline of one’s health but the loss of identity and self-worth. In many societies, this self-identity is closely related with our social status, occupation, material possessions, or independence. Furthermore, we often live in societies that value what is “new” or in fashion, and our own usage of lexicon in the English language often does not bode well for older citizens. I mean how would your family react if you came home tonight elated兴高采烈的, exclaiming, “Hey, come to the living room and see the OLD black and white TV I brought!” Unfortunately, the word “old” calls up images of the need to replace or discard.

Now, many of the lectures given at this conference have focused on pension reform, medical care, and the development of public facilities for senior citizens. And while these are important problems that must be dealt with, I’d like to focus my comments on an underlying根本的问题 issue that will affect the overall success of the other programs mentioned. This has to do with与……有关 reevaluating our views on what it means to be a part of this group, and finding meaningful roles the elderly can and should play in our societies.

First of all, I’d talk about ...

 

Section Five Further Enhancement

I. Text II

1. Lead-in Questions

1. Do you find it more pleasurable to be with the people of similar age? Why or why not? 

2. What do you think about living with your grandparents?

 

2. Text II

Closing the Gap

Mary Pipher

Until late this century, we spent time with people of all generations. Now many baby boomers生育高峰的孩子们 may not have much contact with old folk until they’re relatively old themselves.

That’s because we group people by age. We put our three-year-olds in day-care centers, our 13-year-olds in schools and sports activities, and our 80-year-olds in senior-citizen homes. Why?

We segregate the old for many reasons: prejudice, ignorance无知, a lack of good alternatives. Younger people sometimes avoid the old to evade fears of ageing and dying. Death is easier to bear in the abstract. It’s much harder to watch someone we love fade before our eyes. Sometimes it’s so hard that we stay away from the people who need us most.

But there are problems with the age-segregation experiment. Ten 14-year-olds grouped together will form a Lord of the Flies 蝇王文化culture — competitive and mean. But ten people aged 2 to 80 grouped together will fall into a natural age hierarchy that nurtures and teaches them all. For our own mental and social health, we need to reconnect重新结合 the age groups.

Fortunately, some of us have found our way to the old. And we have discovered that they often save the young.

 A reporter moved her family into a block filled with old people. At first her children were disappointed. But the reporter baked banana bread for the neighbors and had her children deliver it and visit. Soon the children had many new friends, with whom they shared food, stories and projects. “My children have never been less lonely,” the reporter said.

The young, in turn, save the old. Once I was in a rest home when a visitor showed up with a baby. She was immediately surrounded. People who hadn’t got out of bed in a week were suddenly ringing for a wheelchair. Even those who had seemed comatose昏睡的 woke up to watch the child. Babies have an amazing power to comfort and heal.

Grandparents are a special case. They give grandchildren a feeling of security and continuity连贯 As my husband put it, “My grandparents gave me a deep sense that things would turn out right in the end.” Grandchildren speak of attention they don’t get from harried受折磨的 parents. “My parents were always telling me to hurry up, and my grandparents told me to slow down,” one friend said. A teacher told me she can tell which kids have relationships with grandparents: they are quieter, calmer, more trusting.

 There was an artist I’ll call Mauve who sought truth far from home in ashrams修行地 and workshops. Just as Mauve was leaving for Europe one summer, her grandmother fell ill, and the family asked Mauve to care for her. She protested, but there was no one else. Mauve moved in with her grandmother for six months — handling her medical needs, cooking for her and bathing her — until she died. For the first time in Mauve’s life, her concern for another person became as great as her concern for herself. The experience changed her life more than her therapy and gurus老师.

My life is richer, too, because of the time that I’ve spent with my elders. Over the past three years I’ve interviewed my five aunts, listened to family stories, looked at photos and eaten home-cooked meals. As a result I better understand my own parents and our history. I’ve also learned the art of ageing. I’ve come away feeling more accepting, more grateful. And I have witnessed the incredible难以置信的 calculus算法/结石 of old age: as more is taken there is more love for what remains.

To learn from the old, we must love them — not just in the abstract but in the flesh beside us in our homes, businesses and churches. We must work together to build the kinds of communities that allow us to care for one another.

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 Questions for discussion

1. Do you believe in the reconnection of age groups? Explain your opinion.

 No, I don’t. This can be easily seen from the history of our society. The generation gap has always been there. This, of course, does not mean that we cannot narrow the gap through education.

 

2. Do you think senior-citizen homes are a good place for the aged? Why / Why not?

 Senior-citizen homes may not be a good place for the aged, but this is probably the only way out in our society today since young couples are finding it increasingly difficult to take care of their parents and parents-in-law because they have their own work to do and their own children to care for.

 

3. Can you tell something from your memory about your grandparents?

 Open.