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2009年05月30日

(2009-05-30 22:05:10)
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杂谈

A Clean, Well-Lighted Place  一个干净明亮的地方

 Ernest Hemingway 海明威

 

It was very late and everyone had left the cafe except an old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light. In the day time the street was dusty, but at night the dew settled the dust and the old man liked to sit late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the difference. The two waiters inside the cafe knew that the old man was a little drunk, and while he was a good client they knew that if he became too drunk he would leave without paying, so they kept watch on him.
時間很晚了,大家都離開餐館,只有一個老人還坐在樹葉擋住燈光的陰影裡。白天裡,街上盡是塵埃,到得晚上,露水壓住了塵埃。這個老人喜歡坐得很晚,因為他是個聾子,現在是夜裡,十分寂靜,他感覺得到跟白天的不同。呆在餐館裡的兩個侍者知道這老人有點兒醉了,他雖然是個好主顧,可是,他們知道,如果他喝得太醉了,他會不付帳就走,所以他們一直在留神他。

"Last week he tried to commit suicide," one waiter said.
"Why?"
"He was in despair."
"What about?"
"Nothing."
"How do you know it was nothing?"
"He has plenty of money."

"
上個星期他想自殺,"一個侍者說。
"
為什麼?
"
"
他絕望啦。
"
"
幹嗎絕望?
"
"
沒事兒。
"
"
你怎麼知道是沒事兒?
"
"
他有很多錢。
"

They sat together at a table that was close against the wall near the door of the cafe and looked at the terrace where the tables were all empty except where the old man sat in the shadow of the leaves of the tree that moved slightly in the wind. A girl and a soldier went by in the street. The street light shone on the brass number on his collar. The girl wore no head covering and hurried beside him.
他們一起坐在緊靠著餐館大門牆邊的桌旁,眼睛望著平臺,那兒的桌子全都空無一人,只有那個老人坐在隨風輕輕飄拂的樹葉的陰影裡。有個少女和一個大兵走過大街。街燈照在他那領章的銅號碼上。那個少女沒戴帽子,在他身旁匆匆走著。


"The guard will pick him up," one waiter said.
"What does it matter if he gets what he's after?"
"He had better get off the street now. The guard will get him. They went by five minutes ago."
The old man sitting in the shadow rapped on his saucer with his glass. The younger waiter went over to him.
"What do you want?"
The old man looked at him. "Another brandy," he said.
"
警衛隊會把他逮走,"一個侍者說。

"
如果他到手了他要找的東西,那又有什麼關係呢?
"
"
他這會兒還是從街上溜走為好。警衛隊會找他麻煩,他們五分鐘前才經過這裡。
"
那老人坐在陰影裡,用杯子敲敲茶託。那個年紀比較輕的侍者上他那兒去。

"
你要什麼?"
老人朝他看了看。"再來杯白蘭地,"他說。


"You'll be drunk," the waiter said. The old man looked at him. The waiter went away.

"你會喝醉的,"侍者說。老人朝他看了一看。侍者走開了。


"He'll stay all night," he said to his colleague. "I'm sleepy now. I never get into bed before three o'clock. He should have killed himself last week."
"
他會通宵呆在這裡,"他對他的同事說。"我這會兒真想睡。我從來沒有在三點鐘以前睡覺過。他應該在上星期就自殺了。"


The waiter took the brandy bottle and another saucer from the counter inside the cafe and marched out to the old man's table. He put down the saucer and poured the glass full of brandy.
侍者從餐館裡的櫃檯上拿了一瓶白蘭地和另一個茶託,大步走了出來,送到老人桌上。他放下茶託,把杯子倒滿了白蘭地。

"You should have killed yourself last week," he said to the deaf man. The old man motioned with his finger. "A little more," he said. The waiter poured on into the glass so that the brandy slopped over and ran down the stem into the top saucer of the pile. "Thank you," the old man said. The waiter took the bottle back inside the cafe. He sat down at the table with his colleague again.
"
你應該在上星期就自殺了,"他對那個聾子說。老人把手指一晃。"再加一點,"他說。侍者又往杯子裡倒酒,酒溢了出來,順著高腳杯的腳流進了一疊茶託的第一隻茶託。"謝謝你,"老人說。侍者把酒瓶拿回到餐館去。他又同他的同事坐在桌旁。

"He's drunk now," he said.
"He's drunk every night."
"What did he want to kill himself for?"
"How should I know."
"How did he do it?"
"He hung himself with a rope."
"Who cut him down?"
"
他這會兒喝醉了,"他說。

"
他每天晚上都喝醉。"
"
他幹嗎要自殺呀?
"
"
我怎麼知道。
"
"
他上次是怎樣自殺的?
"
"
他用繩子上吊。
"
"
誰把他放下來的?
"

"His niece."
"Why did they do it?"
"Fear for his soul."
"How much money has he got?" "He's got plenty."
"He must be eighty years old."
"Anyway I should say he was eighty."
"
他侄女。
"
"
幹嗎要把他放下來?
"
"
為他的靈魂擔憂。
"
"
他有多少錢?
"
"
他有很多錢。
"
"
他准有八十歲嘍。
"
"
不管怎樣,我算准他有八十歲。
"

"I wish he would go home. I never get to bed before three o'clock. What kind of hour is that to go to bed?"
"
我真希望他回家去。我從來沒有在三點鐘以前睡覺過。那是個什麼樣的睡覺時間呀?
"

"He stays up because he likes it."
"
他因為不喜歡睡覺所以才不睡覺。
"

"He's lonely. I'm not lonely. I have a wife waiting in bed for me."
他孤孤單單。我可不孤單。我有個老婆在床上等著我呢。
"

"He had a wife once too."
"
他從前也有過老婆。
"

"A wife would be no good to him now."
"
這會兒有老婆對他可沒好處。
"

"You can't tell. He might be better with a wife."
"
話可不能這麼說。他有老婆也許會好些。
"

"His niece looks after him. You said she cut him down."
"
他侄女會照料他。你剛才說是她把他放下來的。
"

"I know." "I wouldn't want to be that old. An old man is a nasty thing."
"
我知道。" "我才不要活得那麼老。老人邋裡邋遢。
"

"Not always. This old man is clean. He drinks without spilling. Even now, drunk. Look at him."
"
不一定都是這樣。這個老人乾乾淨淨。他喝啤酒來並不滴滴答答往外漏。哪怕這會兒喝醉了。你瞧他。
"

"I don't want to look at him. I wish he would go home. He has no regard for those who must work."
"
我才不想瞧他。我希望他回家去。他並不關心那些非幹活不可的人。
"

The old man looked from his glass across the square, then over at the waiters.
那老人從酒杯上抬起頭來望望廣場,又望望那兩個侍者。

"Another brandy," he said, pointing to his glass. The waiter who was in a hurry came over.
"
再來杯白蘭地,"他指著杯子說。那個著急的侍者跑了過去。

"Finished," he said, speaking with that omission of syntax stupid people employ when talking to drunken people or foreigners. "No more tonight. Close now."
"
沒啦,"他不顧什麼句法地說,蠢漢在對醉漢或外國人說話時就這麼說法。"今晚上沒啦。打烊啦。
"

"Another," said the old man.
"
再來一杯,"那老人說。


"No. Finished." The waiter wiped the edge of the table with a towel and shook his head.
"
不,沒啦,"侍者一邊拿塊毛巾揩揩桌沿,一邊搖搖頭。

The old man stood up, slowly counted the saucers, took a leather coin purse from his pocket and paid for the drinks, leaving half a peseta tip. The waiter watched him go down the street, a very old man walking unsteadily but with dignity.
老人站了起來,慢慢地數著茶託,打口袋裡摸出一隻裝硬幣的起夾子來,付了酒賬,又放下半個比薩斜塔作小帳。那個侍者瞅著他順著大街走去,這個年紀很大的人走起路來,雖然腳步不挺穩,卻很有神氣。

"Why didn't you let him stay and drink?" the unhurried waiter asked. They were putting up the shutters. "It is not half-past two."
"
你幹嗎不讓他呆下來喝酒呢?"那個不著急的侍者問道。他們這會兒正在拉下百葉窗。"還不到二點半呢。
"

"I want to go home to bed."
"
我要回家睡覺了。
"

"What is an hour?"
"
一個鐘頭算啥?"


"More to me than to him."
"
他無所謂,我可很在乎。"

"An hour is the same."
"
反正是一個鐘頭。
"

"You talk like an old man yourself. He can buy a bottle and drink at home."
"
你說得就象那個老人一模一樣。他可以買啤酒回家去喝嘛。
"

"It's not the same."
"
這可不一樣。
"

"No, it is not," agreed the waiter with a wife. He did not wish to be unjust. He was only in a hurry.
"
是呀,這是不一樣的。"那個有老婆的侍者表示同意說。他不希望做得不公道,他只是有點兒著急。

"And you? You have no fear of going home before your usual hour?"
"
那麼你呢?你不怕不到你通常的時間就回家嗎?
"

"Are you trying to insult me?"
"
你想侮辱我嗎?
"

"No, hombre, only to make a joke."
"
不,老兄,只是開開玩笑。
"

"No," the waiter who was in a hurry said, rising from pulling down the metal shutters. "I have confidence. I am all confidence."
"
不,"那個著急的侍者一邊說,一邊拉下了鐵百葉窗後站了起來。"我有信心。我完全有信心。
"

"You have youth, confidence, and a job," the older waiter said. "You have everything."
"
你有青春,信心,又有工作,"那個年紀大些的侍者說,"你什麼都有了。"

 
"And what do you lack?"
"
那麼,你缺少什麼呢?
"

"Everything but work."
"
除了工作,什麼都缺。"


"You have everything I have."
"
我有什麼,你也都有了。"


"No. I have never had confidence and I am not young."
"
不,我從來就沒有信心,我也不年輕了。"

"Come on. Stop talking nonsense and lock up."
"
好啦,好啦,別亂彈琴了,把門鎖上吧。
"

"I am of those who like to stay late at the cafe," the older waiter said.
"With all those who do not want to go to bed. With all those who need a light for the night."
"
我是屬於那種喜歡在餐館呆得很晚的人,"那個年紀大些的侍者說。"我同情那種不想睡覺的人,同情那種夜裡要有亮光的人。
"

"I want to go home and into bed."
"
我要回家睡覺去了。
"

"We are of two different kinds," the older waiter said. He was now dressed to go home. "It is not only a question of youth and confidence although those things are very beautiful. Each night I am reluctant to close up because there may be some one who needs the cafe."
"
我們是不一樣的,"那個年紀大些的侍者說。這會兒,他穿好衣服要回家了。"這不光是個年輕和信心的問題,雖然青春和信心都是十分美妙的。我每天晚上都很不願意打烊,因為可能有人要上餐館。
"

"Hombre, there are bodegas open all night long."
"
老兄,開通宵的酒店有的是。
"

"You do not understand. This is a clean and pleasant cafe. It is well lighted. The light is very good and also, now, there are shadows of the leaves."
"
你不懂。這兒是個乾淨愉快的餐館。十分明亮。而且這會兒,燈光很亮,還有飄渺的樹影。
"

"Good night," said the younger waiter.
"
再見啦,"那個年輕的侍者說。

"Good night," the other said. Turning off the electric light he continued the conversation with himself, It was the light of course but it is necessary that the place be clean and pleasant. You do not want music. Certainly you do not want music. Nor can you stand before a bar with dignity although that is all that is provided for these hours. What did he fear? It was not a fear or dread, It was a nothing that he knew too well. It was all a nothing and a man was a nothing too. It was only that and light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it all was nada y pues nada y nada y pues nada. Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee. He smiled and stood before a bar with a shining steam pressure coffee machine.
"
再見,"年紀大些的侍者說。他關了電燈,繼續在自說自話。亮固然要很亮,但也必須是個乾淨愉快的地方。你不要聽音樂。你肯定不要聽音樂。你也不會神氣地站在酒吧前面,雖然這會兒那裡應有盡有。他怕什麼?他不是怕,也不是發慌。他心裡很有數,這是虛無縹緲。全是虛無縹緲,人也是虛無縹緲的。人所需要的只是虛無縹緲和亮光以及乾乾淨淨和井井有條。有些人生活于其中卻從來沒有感覺到,可是,他知道一切都是虛無縹緲的,一切都是為了虛無縹緲,虛無縹緲,為了虛無縹緲。我們的虛無縹緲就在虛無縹緲中,虛無縹緲是你的名字,你的王國也叫虛無縹緲,你將是虛無縹緲中的虛無縹緲,因為原來就是虛無縹緲。給我們這個虛無縹緲吧,我們日常的虛無縹緲,虛無縹緲是我們的,我們的虛無縹緲,因為我們是虛無縹緲的,我們的虛無縹緲,我們無不在虛無縹緲中,可是,把我們打虛無縹緲中拯救出來吧;為了虛無縹緲。歡呼全是虛無縹緲的虛無縹緲,虛無縹緲與汝同在。他含笑站在一個酒吧前,那兒有架閃光的蒸氣壓咖啡機。

"What's yours?" asked the barman.
"
你要什麼?"酒吧招待問道。


"Nada."
"
虛無縹緲。"


"Otro loco mas," said the barman and turned away.
"
又是個神經病,"酒吧招待說過後,轉過頭去。

"A little cup," said the waiter.
"
來一小杯,"那個侍者說。

The barman poured it for him.
酒吧招待倒了一杯給他。


"The light is very bright and pleasant but the bar is unpolished," the waiter said.
"
燈很亮,也很愉快,只是這個酒吧沒有擦得很光潔,"侍者說。


The barman looked at him but did not answer. It was too late at night for conversation.
酒吧招待看看他,但是,沒有答腔,夜深了,不便談話。


"You want another copita?" the barman asked.
"
你要再來一小杯嗎?"酒吧招待問道。

"No, thank you," said the waiter and went out. He disliked bars and bodegas. A clean, well-lighted cafe was a very different thing. Now, without thinking further, he would go home to his room. He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it's probably only insomnia. Many must have it.
"
不,謝謝你,"侍者說罷,走出去了。他不喜歡酒吧和酒店。一個乾淨明亮的餐館又是另一回事。現在他不再想什麼了,他要回家,到自己屋裡去。他要去躺在床上,最後,天亮了,他就要睡覺了。到頭來,他對自己說,大概又只是失眠。許多人一定都失眠。

 

I am not as old as the older waiter

or the old man,

but there are moments

in my life

that I do feel

loneliness and futility in this world...

 

sometimes,

it's dreadful than death itself

and I can do nothing but drunk myself

where can I find

this clean and well-lighted place

to free and escape my  fresh and soul?

0

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