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要当心黑曼巴!!!

(2009-05-29 13:22:08)
标签:

杂谈

Beware The Black Mamba!!!

要当心黑曼巴!!!

Of all the African snakes, 

the Black Mamba is the most feared 

and is known for being aggressive when agitated 

and will strike with deadly precision.

 在所有的非洲蛇种中,黑曼巴蛇是最让人惧怕的,而且它一遭外界激怒而显示出杀伤力的特性为众人所知,并且能以极为致命的精度准确出击。

 

You can always tell when it’s springtime in America:

the cherry blossoms are blooming.

the daisies are blooming.

the Octomom’s uterus is blooming.

 在美国,你总是能很容易发觉春姑娘来了:

樱花在开放着,野雏菊也长得旺盛,万物都充满生机。

 

It is at this time, in sports, when we say hello to MLB and we begin the long, arduous process of saying goodbye to the NBA.  The playoffs start this weekend for the National Basketball Association and there are two things you need to know. 

在这个时间里,是我们向美职棒大联盟问好的时候,也是我们开始一段长久艰苦的向NBA告别的过程。NBA季后赛将在本周末打响,有两件事你需要了解。

 

1. Out of all the major sports, it’s the one that’s easiest to predict.

1.在所有主流的体育运动中,它是最容易预测的一个。

 

2. The playoffs are really, really long.

2.季后赛的过程是真的真的很长一段时间。

 

What makes the start of the playoffs so much fun is that there’s always a bunch of subplots and storylines.  This year is no different.  LeBron James, the best player on the planet, has a real shot of bringing a championship to Cleveland.  Dwayne Wade has a real shot of averaging 40 points a game on a terrible Miami Heat team.  The Portland Trail Blazers have a young and exciting team.  And the defending champs, the Boston Celtics, have to try to win the title again without their best player, Kevin Garnett.  But I think the biggest storyline is coming out of L.A.  The Lakers are the favorites and I suspect that no other player in the league has more riding on winning the championship than Kobe Bryant, a.k.a. the Black Mamba.

是什么使得季后赛变得那么有趣味呢?那是因为总是有一些情节与故事。本赛季也并无例外。詹姆斯,这个星球上最好的球员,很有机会将总冠军带给骑士队。韦德,在一支糟糕的热火队中也很可能得到场均40分的表现。波特兰开拓者拥有一批年轻有活力的球员。而卫冕冠军—波士顿凯尔特人,不得不在缺少他们最好的球员—加内特的情况下去再次抢夺冠军。但是,我认为最为重大的故事情节还是出自于洛杉矶。湖人是人们的最爱,而我也觉得联盟中没人比科比更渴望去赢得总冠军,他就是我们所说的黑曼巴。

 

Many snake experts have cited the Black Mamba as the world’s most aggressive snake, 

actively aggressive and attacking without provocation.

许多蛇专家指出黑曼巴是世界上最具有侵略性的蛇,争强好斗,在没有挑衅的条件下也会攻击。

 

I have always found Kobe Bryant utterly fascinating.  He came into the league in 1996 as a precocious 17 year-old with a world of potential.  He had flashy moves, he spoke Italian, and he took R&B starlet Brandy to his high school prom.  In 13 years he has had an incredible, Hall-of-Fame career winning 3 titles, 2 scoring titles, 1 MVP award, with 11 All-Star appearances.

我总是觉得科比是极具有吸引力的人物。他在1996年作为一个才华横溢的17岁少年步入NBA。那时他的动作华丽,他讲意大利语,他曾带R&B小天后布兰迪去参加高中的舞会。在13年的时间里,他拥有一个不可思议的名人堂级别的职业生涯,赢得过3次总冠军,2次得分王,1次MVP还有11次的全明星入选。

 

But for all his success, his career has experienced more turbulence than Oceanic Flight 815 (the fateful and fictional plane on LOST).  He publicly feuded with former teammate Shaquille O’Neal.  He gained the reputation of being a selfish ball-hog, a malcontent, and a prima donna.  And he was publicly excoriated by coach Phil Jackson in the bestselling book “The Last Season.”  But of course, that paled in comparison to the sexual assault charge that was levied against him in 2003.  At the time, Bryant was the league’s most popular and marketable player, earning more money in endorsements than anybody else.  Although the charges were later dropped, his meticulously crafted image was decimated and he was never looked at the same.

但是相对于他所有的成就,他的生涯中经历的涡流比起大洋航空815还要多(电视剧《迷失》中的虚拟的飞机)。他与前队友奥尼尔的长期不和众所皆知。以前他给人们的印象就是自私的粘球者,一个野心者和首席女主角。他也被教练菲尔杰克逊在其畅销书《上赛季》中被公开解剖。但是,这些比起他在03年的丑闻就不足为提了。在那个时候,科比是联盟中最出名和最有销路的球员,在代言收入方面比谁都要多。即使最终指控撤销,但是他认真专注的形象受到损害,而人们从此也对他另眼相看。

 

When O’Neal left town in 2004, the city was Kobe’s to own.  And what he wanted more than anything was to prove to the world that he could win a title without the big fella.  The relationship between he and Shaq was like the relationship between the United States and the Soviet Union during the Cold War.  So we would be correct to assume that he was livid when O’Neal went to Miami and won a championship playing second-banana to Dwayne Wade. While Kobe played on dreadful Laker teams, Shaq flourished, validating himself after his acrimonious split with L.A.  It also helped that Shaq was infinitely more likable that Bryant.  O’Neal was (and still is) a big goof, with the ability to charm anyone with his playful demeanor.  On the flip side, Bryant is more frosty than a blizzard from Dairy Queen.  One of the more interesting dynamics of this current Lakers team is how his teammates are wary of pissing him off, lest they face the wrath of the Black Mamba.

当鲨鱼在04年游走时,洛杉矶就是科比一人的天下了。而他最想要的就是向全世界证明没有胖子他也可以得到总冠军。他们之间的关系就像是冷战时期苏联与美国的关系。我们可以很合理地推测当鲨鱼在热队焕发第二春并与韦德夺得总冠军时科比是郁闷的。当科比在一支状况糟糕的湖人队时,鲨鱼却在与湖人分道扬镳后还能发光发亮。这也使得鲨鱼又得到更多人的喜爱。以前奥尼尔是个大活宝(现在依然是),总能以其好玩的本性娱乐大众。而另一方面,科比比起冰雪皇后的冰淇淋还要冰冷。目前这支湖人队有一个更为有趣的动态就是科比的队友都避免去惹怒老大,免得他们要面对黑曼巴的怒斥。

 

When in the striking position, 

the Black Mamba flattens its neck, hisses very loudly, 

and displays its inky black mouth and deadly fangs. 

当黑曼巴要发起攻击时,它伸出脖子,发出响亮的嘶嘶声,露出他黑漆漆的嘴还有那致命的牙齿。

 

Last season started out a little iffy.  During the summer of 2007, Kobe publicly berated General Manager Mitch Kupchak and chastised his young teammate, Andrew Bynum.  Then he demanded a trade.  A few hours later, he recanted.  Then he surprisingly brushed off media day at the start of training camp. Then he dropped hints that he would opt out of his contract.  And to cap it all off, the Laker fans who stood by him during the dark days of his assault case, booed him on opening night.  But a funny thing happened to the Lakers on their way to purgatory.  team no one considered a threat, they finished the season with the best record in the Western Conference.  They received help along the way thanks to the infamous lop-sided trade that brought Pau Gasol to L.A.  But no matter.  The Lakers were relevant once again.  They returned to the NBA Finals but were ultimately defeated by the Boston Celtics.

 上赛季开始时的情况不大安稳。在07年夏天科比痛斥总经理米奇库普切克和他年轻的队友安德鲁拜纳姆。之后他要求被交易。几个钟头后,他改变了主意。然后他出人意料地出现在训练营开营时的媒体日招待会。然后他又暗示要跳出合同。这样子种种事情的发生,就连在性丑闻黑暗时期默默支持他的球迷们在揭幕战时也给了科比嘘声。但是在湖人炼狱的路上发生了一件有趣的事。不被人当作威胁的湖人队,最终以西部最佳战绩结束常规赛。他们通过那个“丑恶的,不平衡的”交易将加索尔弄到洛杉矶。但是无论如何,湖人又一次成为聚焦点。他们回到了总决赛,但是最终败给波士顿凯子队。

 

For me personally, I've always enjoyed going to the barbershop, not just for the haircuts, but to listen to those guys talk about basketball.  I always listen first.  And then, inevitably, I join the fray.  Last week the conversation went like this:

 对于我自己来说,我总是喜欢去理发店,不仅仅是为了理发,而且也为了听听人们谈论篮球。我总是先听听别人说什么然后不可避免地会加入讨论中去。上个星期那讨论是这样的:

 

Anonymous Customer #1: “I don’t care what you say, LeBron gon’ take it this year.”

顾客甲:“无论你说啥都好,这赛季詹姆斯会得到总冠军。”

Anonymous Customer #2: “Man, I don’t know.  Dwight Howard is a beast.”

顾客乙:“大哥,我可不是这样想的,要知道霍华德是魔兽呀。”

Anonymous Barber: “Dwight Howard???  Man, you smoke crack.  Howard won’t get out of the first round.  Who ya’ll need to be talking about is my boy D-Wade.”

理发师丙:“霍华德???你不是脑进水了吧?魔术队第一轮都过不了。你们需要注意的还是我家闪电侠呀。”

My Barber: “I still like them Celtics.  They the champs until somebody beats em.”

我的理发师:“我还是喜欢凯子他们,在他们的对手出现之前,他们会始终是总冠军。”

My Barber speaking to me: “Who you think gon’ win it this year?”

我的理发师对我说:“你认为谁会赢得今年总冠军?”

 

Me: “The Lakers.  I think everybody is going crazy over Cleveland and LeBron.  He may be the most dominant guy out there but I think his teammates aren’t ready.  You have to have your ass handed to you before you become a champion.  Last year, the Lakers got their ass handed to them.  It made them a better, more defiant team.  This time around they're more focused.  I’ll say this slowly.  Ya’ll . . . better . . . beware . . . of the Black Mamba!”

我说:“湖人。我认为大家对于骑士和詹姆斯太发狂了。他也许是最有统治力的人,但是我认为他的队友还没准备好。想赢得总冠军你得上紧所有发条。去年,湖人做到了,他们成为更棒,更敢于挑战的球队。而这个赛季他们更为专注。我慢慢说出来吧,你们最好得当心黑。。曼。。。巴。”

 

Everybody: “WHO IN THE HELL IS THE BLACK MAMBA???”

所有人都说:“哪根葱是黑曼巴呀?”

 

When warding off a threat, 

the Black Mamba delivers multiple strikes 

injecting large amounts of potent neuro-and-cardiotoxin with each strike, 

often landing bites to the body and the head.

当抵挡威胁时,黑曼巴使出多重还击,每一击都向心脏和神经大量注射威力极大的毒液,而且常会咬身体以及头部。

 

The Black Mamba is the nickname Kobe Bryant gave himself a couple of years ago.  And unlike all those silly nicknames that Shaq has given himself over the years, this one fits Kobe to a tee.  He has a vicious competitive streak that rivals the bounty hunter known as Michael Jordan.  But for all of his success, he is one of the most polarizing figures in American sports history.  The love affair for Kobe Bryant in Los Angeles is obvious.  But outside of L.A., he is more loathed than loved.  In fact, I’m willing to argue that he is the single most hated professional athlete.  Who can forget in 2002 when he was loudly booed at the NBA All-Star Game after he was named the game's MVP.  And the worst part?  The game was played in his hometown of Philadelphia.

 黑曼巴这个昵称是科比前些年给自己取的,不像奥尼尔这么多年给他的取的绰号,这一个真的非常适合科比。他跟有赏金猎人之称的飞人乔丹有着残酷的竞争。但是在他一切的成功背后,他又是美国体育史上最为两极化的人物之一。洛杉矶人对他的爱是显而易见的,但是在洛城外,他得到的更多是憎恨而不是爱戴。事实上,我可以说他是唯一最不被人喜欢的职业运动员。谁能忘记在2002年全明星赛中他获得比赛的MVP却遭到现场球迷的嘘声呢?最糟糕的是,那比赛是在他的家乡费城举行的。

 

If you ask a Kobe-hater why they dislike him so much, the answers are all the same:

 如果你问下科黑为什么他们那么不喜欢科比,答案总是一个样的:

“He’s arrogant.”

 “他傲慢自大。”

“He’s selfish.”

 “他自私。”

“He’s an adulterer.”

 “他是个通奸者。”

“He broke up the Laker dynasty.”

 “他毁了湖人王朝。”

 

Notice how these comments have nothing to do with what he does on the court?

要注意到这些言论跟他在场上的表现是毫无关联的。

 

And you know what?  With the exception of that last statement, you could say the exact same thing about the much-adored Michael Jordan.  Yes, he was the greatest and most successful player ever, but that other stuff (the commercials, the Nike sneakers, Space Jam) was all image.  The real Jordan was a mean and cruel SOB who terrified his teammates, slept around with various women, and gambled with highly shady people.  But the media LOVED the guy.  And the last thing they wanted to do was to anger him by asking him questions that made him uncomfortable.

你知道吗?除了上面那些言论外,你完全可以对万人敬仰的飞人乔丹也说出这样的言论。没错,他是目前最伟大最成功的球员,但是其他一些东西(广告,NIKE鞋,电影空中大灌篮)也都是形象的一部分。真正的乔丹是一个自私的,SOB (=son of a bitch)恐吓着他的队友,到处跟女人上床,还跟背景不可靠的人赌博。但是媒体爱戴着他。他们唯一会做的就是通过问一些让他不舒服的问题来激怒他。

 

Kobe gets no such treatment, not from the media and definitely not from the fans.

但是科比就没有这样的待遇了,在媒体方面没有,球迷方面就更没有了。

 

My dad, Sam, absolutely despises him.  Every since he came into the league 13 years ago, my dad has bashed him like a piñata.  And when the rape allegations came to light, my dad (and quite a few of my friends) seemed oddly satisfied, as if those charges justified what they already suspected about the guy. 

我的父亲山姆完全BS他,打从科比在13年前进入NBA以来,我的父亲就抨击他为皮纳塔。而当性骚扰案件曝光时,我的父亲(还有相当一部分我的朋友)貌似很奇怪地满意,好像那指控就应证了他们对这个人的不信任。

 

But here’s what I believe.  The guy was raised in Italy.  Then he moved to Philadelphia, one of the toughest cities in the country.  I don’t think the black kid with the Italian accent necessarily fit in with his classmates.  The critics who've been the most vocal over the years have come from the black community who never thought Kobe was “real” or “street”, like the more popular Allen Iverson.  But I think that his European/American upbringing stunted his social growth.  I’m not making excuses for the guy. But I do think that experience, combined with what Phil Jackson hinted at in his book (Bryant had a rocky childhood) created the lightning rod that we have today. 

但是我的想法是这样的:他是在意大利长大的,之后才搬到费城去,这是国内最糟糕的城市之一。我不认为一个带着意大利口音的黑人小孩子就必定能融入到他的同学圈里。这些年来,黑人社团中的评论家最响亮的说法就是称科比不够‘纯’不是‘街头的’,不象那个更红的街头男孩阿伦艾佛森。但是我认为是他的欧\美冲击抑制了他的社交成长。我不是为他找借口。但是我真的认为经验,结合菲尔杰克逊在他书中暗示的(科比的童年是动荡不安的)就造就了我们今日的避雷针。

 

But Kobe Bryant, unlike that other much-maligned superstar Alex Rodriguez, doesn’t care what you think of him.  He’s more worried about his legacy and he believes a championship without Shaq will vindicate him too.  And he’s right.  This is my personal list of the 10 all-time greatest players in NBA history:

但是科比并不像另外一个备受诽谤的超级巨星—亚历克斯罗德里盖斯(棒球界),他才不理别人是怎么看待他的。他更注重的是他的成就,而且他也相信在没有鲨鱼的条件下拿到总冠军可以证明自己的能力。他想得没错。下面是我个人列出的NBA历史上最伟大的10个球员:

 

1. Michael Jordan乔丹

2. Wilt Chamberlain张伯伦

3. Bill Russell拉塞尔

4. Shaquille O’Neal奥尼尔

5. Magic Johnson魔术师

6. Larry Bird大鸟伯德

7. Oscar Robertson奥斯卡罗宾斯

8. Jerry West杰里韦斯特

9. Elgin Baylor贝勒

10. Tim Duncan邓肯

 

I have Bob Cousy, Julius Erving and Kobe on the outside looking in.  But if Kobe wins it all this year, doesn’t he have to be legitimately placed on everybody’s top 10 list?

我还有库西,欧文和科比在候选名单中。如果科比这个赛季拿到总冠军,难道他不应当合理地成为所有人心中的十佳吗?

 

I don’t care how much you may hate him, you have to at least give him that respect.

我不管你们有多么恨他,但是你们至少得给予他尊重。

 

I’m a die-hard fan of the UNC Tarheels.  My hatred for the Duke Blue Devils is on par with the hatred Heather Locklear has for Denise Richards.  But I respect Coach K and I think he’s arguably the best coach in college basketball.

我是北卡大学篮球队的铁杆粉丝。我对于杜克蓝魔的憎恨可以跟海瑟·洛克莱尔对丹尼斯理查兹的怨恨相媲美。但是呢,我尊敬老K教练,我也认为他毫无疑问是大学篮球最棒的教练。

 

And that’s how I feel about Kobe.  He’s one of the greatest players of all-time but he is also one of the most underappreciated players of all-time.  On Facebook, there’s an application in which you can select the best five players in the NBA and display it on your profile page.  My friend LaDontae selected his five and left Kobe off the list.  When I asked him why, he said that he thought Kobe was good but he “just didn’t like him”.  In a jokingly manner, I started singing the lyrics to Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.”

而那正是我对于科比的看法。他是历史上最伟大的球员之一,同时也是历史上最不被赏识的球员之一。在facebook你的个人资料页面里,你可以选出NBA最强的5位球员。我的朋友LaDonta选了5个人,但其中却没有科比。当我问他原因时,他回答说,“科比的确很不错,但是我就是不喜欢他。”我以开玩笑地方式唱起艾瑞莎富兰克林的“尊重”这一首歌。

 

In Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” movies, Uma Thurman memorably played the role of Beatrix Kiddo, the bride who was left for dead by her former allies.  In the end, she avenged those who tried to kill her and presumably lived happily ever after.  Her codename was “the Black Mamba.” I don’t know about the happily ever after part but I do know one thing.  When the dust finally settles in June, a vindicated Kobe Bryant will be the last man standing, . . . just like Uma.

在昆汀塔伦蒂诺的电影《杀死比尔》中,乌玛苏曼扮演的角色贝娅特丽克丝的形象深入民心,这个新娘被同伴们抛弃。最终,她向那些试图杀死她的人报了仇,从那以后据猜测应该是快乐无忧无虑地生活下去。她的代号就是“黑曼巴”。我不确定快乐生活下去那个部分,但是我知道的是:当6月结果尘埃落定之时,得到证明的科比会是笑到最后那一个人,就像乌玛苏曼那样。

 

The Black Mamba’s bite is potentially fatal.  

Without treatment the mortality rate is 100%, 

the highest among all venomous snakes in the world.

黑曼巴的咬伤是极其致命的,没有进行治疗,其死亡率为100%,这是世界上在所有毒蛇中最高的。

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