加载中…
个人资料
北斗第一星
北斗第一星
  • 博客等级:
  • 博客积分:0
  • 博客访问:603,059
  • 关注人气:706
  • 获赠金笔:0支
  • 赠出金笔:0支
  • 荣誉徽章:
相关博文
推荐博文
谁看过这篇博文
加载中…
正文 字体大小:

爱神与金童(1-22)VENUSAndADONIS[英]莎士比亚

(2010-07-19 10:37:02)
标签:

育儿

分类: 英文长诗精译

(叙事长诗,共199节x6=1,194行,韵式为ababcc,抑扬格5音步;

以每行10汉字、AAAABB谐韵试译。欢迎指正!)

     Vilia miretur:mihi flavus Apollo 

Pocula Castalia plena ministret aqua. 

让自负的蠢才们为劣作而谬赞

俊美的太阳神引我至诗神之泉

To the Right Honorable                                         恭呈

    Henry Wriothesley               南安浦墩伯爵兼提齐菲尔德男爵    

  Earl of Southampton and Baron of Titchfield       -亨利·莱奥瑟斯雷阁下

Right Honorable,尊敬的阁下:

   I know not how I shall offend in dedicating my unpolished lines to your Lordship, 余不惴冒昧,率奉拙诗与阁下,nor how the world will censure me for choosing so strong a prop to support so weak a burden; 亦不揣世人将如何指斥某竟择如此强有力之后盾以扶持何其差强之赘吟;only, if your Honor seem but pleased, 伏惟或博阁下一粲,I account myself highly praised, 余当自视为崇高之荣耀,and vow to take advantage of all idle hours, 并誓以所有之闲暇勉力进取,till I have honored you with some graver labor. 直至向阁下敬献精雕之力作。But if the first heir of my invention prove deformed, 然则余此番之初作倘有所鄙陋,I shall be sorry it had so noble a godfather, 将愧对其高贵之尊教,and never after ear so barren a land, 并永不耕耘如是贫瘠之原,for fear it yield me still so bad a harvest. 盖因惧其犹馈余乏善之收获矣。I leave it to your honorable survey, and your Honor to your heart's content; 余呈此以待阁下垂顾怡赏;which I wish may always answer your own wish and the world's hopeful expectation.余愿斯以应阁下之所欲及世人之所期也。

                                            Your Honor's in all duty, 尊奉阁下之-

                                                            William Shakespeare.威廉·莎士比亚

【附】:已故张谷若教授译本-

鄙夫俗士,望敝屣而下拜;我则求:
  阿波罗饮我以缪斯泉水流溢之玉杯。
  献与
  扫桑普顿伯爵兼提齐菲尔男爵
  亨利·娄赛斯雷阁下
阁下,
  仆今以鄙俚粗陋之诗篇,献于阁下,其冒昧干渎,自不待言;而仆以此荏弱之柔条纤梗,竟谬欲缘附桢干栋梁以自固,其将招物议之非难,亦不待言。然苟阁下不惜纡尊,笑而纳此芹献,则非特仆之为荣,亦已过当,且誓将以有生之暇日,竭其勤恳之微力,从事差可不负阁下青睐之作以自励。设此初次问世之篇章,不堪入目,则有负阁下之栽培,诚惶恐之不暇,更何敢再事此硗瘠砚田之耕耘,以重其以芜杂之同亵渎清听之罪乎?窃不自谅,以为凡此一切,皆阁下之叡知及明鉴是赖,即阁下之所欲,与世人之所期待,亦莫不以此是赖也。
                        阁下犬马仆
                             威廉·莎士比亚 

                                                1.

Even as the sun with purple-colored face        正当那朝阳彤紫的面容,

   Had ta'en his last leave of the weeping morn,  刚别了泣露的清晓曚昽,

Rose-cheeked Andonis hied him to the chase;     金童急匆匆, 双颊玫瑰红,

   Hunting he loved, but love he laughed to scorn.他爱逐猎,却将爱情嘲讽;

      Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,    维纳斯忽赶来,心怀邪念,

      And like a bold-faced suitor 'gins to woo him.腆颜壮胆向阿童尼求欢。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-      【附2】:曹鸿昭译本-

太阳刚刚东升,圆圆的脸又大又红,     当太阳呈出紫色的面庞,

 泣露的清晓也刚刚别去,犹留遗踪,      辞别了正在洒泪的清朝,

双颊绯红的阿都尼,就已驰逐匆匆。          玫瑰面的亚当尼驰至猎场;

  他爱好的是追猎,他嗤笑的是谈[情]。       他爱好射猎,把爱情嘲笑;

  维纳斯偏把单思害,急急忙忙,紧紧随[定],  病相思的维娜丝迎面疾行,

  拚却女儿羞容,凭厚颜,要演一出凰求凤。      像厚颜的求婚者向他调情。

【附3】:曹明伦-

当那红彤彤赤艳艳的东方朝阳

 才刚刚告别了潸潸垂泪的黎明,

双颊红润的阿多尼便忙于追猎;

 他爱飞鹰走犬而嗤笑说爱谈情;

  害相思病的维纳斯偏把他紧追,

  像个冒失的求爱者要向他求婚。

                                                 2.

"Thrice fairer than myself," thus she began,   她如此开言:“美过我三倍,  

   "The field's chief flower, sweet above compare,-你无与伦比,乃田野花魁,

Stain to all nymphs, more lovely than a man,     白净、红润,胜似群鸽、蔷薇,

   More white and red than doves or roses are,     众仙姬失色,好男儿自愧;

      Nature that made thee, with herself at strife, 造化神塑你时激情澎湃,

      Saith that the world hath ending with thy life.她说你生命与世界同在。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

她先夸他美,说,“你比我还美好几倍。            “美男儿,”她说,“你的美胜过我三倍;

 地上百卉你为魁,芬芳清逸绝无对。                好一朵芬芳的鲜花,人间少见;

仙子比你失颜色,壮男比你空雄伟。                嬉水的仙女,见了你也自惭形秽;

 你洁白胜过白鸽子,娇红胜过红玫瑰。              你比鸽子白,比起那玫瑰,更鲜艳。

  造化生你,自斗智慧,使你一身,俊秀荟萃。        大自然孕育你,就在跟自己拼命,

  她说,‘你若一旦休,便天地同尽,万物共毁。’    说是你死了,世界跟你同归于尽。

                                                3.

"Vouchsafe, thou wonder, to alight thy steed,  “惊你啦-下马,就答应我吧,

   And rein his proud head to the saddlebow.     高傲的马头,你勒紧,-按下;

If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed  你若允从,我会给你赏答,

  A thousand honey secrets shalt thou know.       千甜万秘-你将明白是啥。

      Here come and sit, where never serpent hisses,过来,坐呀,-没有蛇在这里;

      And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses. 就这样,我要-吻得你喘息!

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

“你这奇异的英华,请你屈尊先下骏马。            “听我的话,下马来吧,人间的珍宝!

 且把昂然的马首鞍头络,缰绳鞍头搭。              把他高傲的马首在鞍头系好;

你若赏脸肯贬身价,那我的温存浃洽,              假如你赏我这面子,作为回报,

 有万般未经人知的甜蜜,作你的酬答。              我许你领会一千个香甜的诀窍。

  咱们到这永无嘶嘶蛇鸣的地方先坐下,              来这儿坐吧,这儿没有咝咝的蛇声,

  坐定后,要紧紧相偎倚,我好把你来吻杀。          坐下了,我好搂住你连连地亲吻。

                                                  4.

"And yet not cloy thy lips with loathed satiety,“但不要腻足,令双唇厌恶,

   But rather famish them amid their plenty,       宁可饿着点,休滥而无度,

Making them red and pale with fresh variety:    一阵长吻,倍于十此短促,

   Ten kisses short as one, one long as twenty.    红了又发白,新花样无数:

      A summer's day will seem an hour but short,   如此消遣嬉戏,磨蹭光阴,

      Being wasted in such time-beguiling sport."   暑天一日,忽若半个时辰。”

“我这吻,决不会因过多而腻得你恶心,

 它若越多,它就越会惹得你饥渴难忍。

它叫你的嘴唇时红时白,变化无穷尽。

 十吻犹似一吻新,一吻就甜过二十吻。

  如果在这样消遣光阴的娱乐中共厮混,

  那么,炎夏迟迟的长日,都要去得像一瞬。”

                                              5.

With this she seizeth on his sweating plam,   说着,抓起金童津津汗掌,

   The precedent of pith and livelihood,        -兆示那小伙子精力畅旺,

And trembling in her passion, calls it balm,  维纳斯情颤颤,呼为琼浆-

   Earth's sovereign salve to do a goddess good:疗女神情志的特效良方。

      Being so enraged, desire doth lend her force冲动的欲望赋力量予她-

      Courageously to pluck him from his horse.   猛一把将金童拽下骏马。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

她这样讲,并捉住他汗津津的手不放。               哄了这一番,她抓住他淌汗的手

 (汗津津的,表示他精力充沛、血气盛旺)           -满身活力和血气旺盛的象征,

风情激得她颤声叫这汗是玉液琼浆,         她热情冲动,叫这手掌做“香油”,

 世上给女神治相思的灵药,数它最强。               人间的妙品,给仙女祛病提神;

  爱焰给了她一股力量,弄得她如痴如狂,             心头热热的,欲望助长了气力,

  叫她勇气勃勃地,把他从马上揪到地上。             她鼓起狠劲,把他拉下了坐骑。

                                           6.

Over one arm the lusty courser's rein,     一手臂挽着烈马的缰辔,

   Under her other was the tender boy,       另一支夹着娇童的腰背;

Who blush'd and pouted in a dull disdain,  傻男孩脸赤涨,鄙视,撅嘴,

   With leaden appetite, unapt to toy;       木讷呆笨,索然了无情味;

      She red and hot as coals of glowing fire,一个儿似燃煤,通红火旺,

      He red for shame, but frosty in desire.  一个儿是羞怯,冷若冰霜。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

她一只手挽住了缰绳,把骏马轻[拢],             一条手臂套住那骏马的缰绳,

 另一只胳膊把那嫩孩子紧紧挟定。                   另一条抱下了嫩苗似的少年-

只见他又红脸,又噘嘴,【老那么心硬】,           他涨红了脸,撅起恼怒的嘴唇。

 似木石无灵,不懂什么叫男女风情。                 情怀还没开,要逗弄他,可真难!

  她脸又红,心又热,似一团炭火,熊熊融[融],     她滚烫的脸,像炭火发出红光,

  他脸也红,心却冷,只羞似霞烘,严如霜凝。         他羞红着脸,心却冷得像冰霜。 

                                                   7.

The studded bridle on a ragged bough               缀饰的缰绳在粗枝悬挂-

   Nimbly she fastens: -O, how quick is love!-       爱可真利索!爱神忙捆扎-

The steed is stalled up, and even now              她拴住了马,进而欲擒拿-

   To tie the rider she begins to prove:             出手把阿童尼一举拿下:

      Backward she push'd him, as she would be thrust, 她往后推他,似将遭非礼,

      And govern'd him in strength, though not in lust.用蛮力制服他,而非媚力。

她轻快敏捷地—使她这样的是爱力—

 把镂饰的缰绳在皴裂的树枝上拴起。

马已经这样系牢,她就连忙打主意,

 想把骑马那个人的心也牢牢紧系。

  她像愿意人家对她那样,推他仰卧在地。

  爱既无法使他就范,她就用力把他控[制]。 

                                                    8.

So soon was she along as he was down,               金童才落马,爱神便紧随,    

   Each leaning on their elbows and their hips:       手肘儿相缠,髀股儿抵偎:

Now doth she stroke his cheek, now doth he frown,   她摸他脸蛋,阿童尼蹙眉,

  And 'gins to chide, but soon she stops his lips;    连声叫骂,却被封住小嘴;

      And kissing speaks, with lustful language broken, 维纳斯边吻着,出语狂浪:

      "If thou wilt chide, thy lips shall never open."“你要是再嚷嚷,甭想开腔!”

他一倒在尘埃,她也卧下和他并排。

 他们用胳膊和胯骨支身,侧卧相挨。

他直皱眉头,她就直抚摸他的两腮。

 他开口骂,她就用吻把他的嘴堵塞。

  她一边吻,一边把情话续续断断讲起来。

  “你要是骂,我就堵住了你,叫你有口难开。” 

                                               9.

He burns with bashful shames: she with her tear阿童尼恼羞,维纳斯泪涟-

   Doth quench the maiden burning of his cheeks; 欲浇熄少年桃腮之初燃;

Then with her windy sighs and golden hairs     她长叹连连,甩动金发卷-

   To fan and blow them dry again she seeks:     试图将金童的双颊吹干。

      He saith she is immodest, blames her 'miss;  金童说她无礼,咧咧骂骂;

      What follow more she murders with a kiss.    维纳斯又一吻将其闷煞!

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

他又烦躁、又害臊,闹得两腮似火烧。        他羞得满脸通红,她用她的泪泉

 她就用泪往他处女一般热的脸上浇。                 去浇熄他腮帮上少女似的燃烧;

接着又叹息像轻风嫋,金发【像日色耀】,           又送出阵阵叹息,拿金黄的发卷,

 把汗在他脸上的泪痕,给他吹干拂掉。               为他扇呀,吹呀,想替他弄燥。

  他骂她轻佻,说她不知自好,净卖弄风骚。           他说她不知自重,丧失了仪范;

  他还要絮叨,她就用嘴堵得他语咽声销。             想要再说,却给她用一吻打断。

                                                   10.

Even as an empty eagle, sharp by fast,             恰似只饿鹰,因饥而凶悍,

   Tires with her beak on feathers, flesh and bone,  肉、骨和羽毛-啄食得累倦,

Shaking her wings, devouring all in haste,       她扑棱着双翅,猛吞狂嚥,

   Till either gorge be stuff'd or prey be gone;     直到撑饱了,或猎物完完;

      Even so she kissed his brow, his cheek, his chin,额、颊、下巴,-她哪里亲得够,

      And where she ends she doth anew begin.          顺着吻下来,倒着又开头!

空腹的苍鹰,饿得眼疾心急,馋涎欲滴,

 抓住小鸟,用利喙把毛、肉、骨头一齐[撕]。

鼓翼助威势,贪婪猛吞噬,忙忙又急急,

 饥胃填不满,食物咽不尽,就无停止[时]。

  她就像这样,把他的额、腮、下颏吻个不已,

  因为她吻完了一遍,又从头儿开始吻起。 

                                                  11.

Forced to content, but never to obey,             金童不屈服,可力不从心,

   Panting he lies and breatheth in her faces;      躺着喘气-直冲爱神面门;

She feedeth on the steam as on a prey;            犹吮食牺牲-那热气腾腾,

   And calls it heavenly moisture, air of grace;    爱神呼为天嵐,霭霭薰风;

      Wishing her cheeks were gardens full of flowers,但愿她的双颊花丛满园,

      So they were dew'd with such distilling showers.如此则承雨露甘霖滴沾。

他无奈只好不抵抗,要他情愿却难想。

 他躺在那儿直喘息,气都扑到她脸上。

她把这气吸,像强者吃弱者的肉那样。

 她说这就是天降的云液,神赐的玉浆;

  她恨不得她的双颊就是花园,花发草长,

  好来承受这样甘霖的灌溉,琼露的滋养。 

                                             12.

Look, how a bird lies tangled in a net,      瞧,鸟儿如何挣扎在巢窝,

   So fasten'd in her arms Adonis lies,        仰躺的金童被玉臂环锁,

Pure shame and awed resistance made him fret,单纯的羞怯,抗拒的折磨,

   Which bred more beauty in his angry eyes:   他那双怒目,又英俊几多:

      Rain added to a river that is rank         长满草的河道雨水盈溢-

      Perforce will force it overflow the bank.  势将形成泛滥,漫过岸堤。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

你曾见过小鸟落了网罗,无法能逃脱?               看鸟儿怎么缠住在一面网里,

 阿都尼在她怀里,就像小鸟落了网罗。               阿董尼就怎么落进她的臂弯;

他懊恼,半因羞涩,半因不敢强挣硬夺。             羞涩,想抵拒,又胆怯,害得他生气,

 他的两眼越含嗔,他的美貌越增颜[色]。           而他的一双怒目越显得好看:

  本来就满了槽的河水,再加上大雨滂沱,             洋溢的河水,再加上一场大雨,

  势必溢出河槽,往两岸氾滥,把四处淹没。           势必泛滥,不由得向堤外冲去。

                                                13.

Still she entreast, and prettily entreast,      维纳斯恳求着,楚楚可怜,

   For to a pretty ear she tunes her tale;        软语轻拂在漂亮的耳边;

Still is he sullen, still he lours and frets,   烦躁的金童,蹙额,板着脸,

   'Twixt crimson shame and anger ashy-pale:      -红白阵阵,介乎恼羞之间:

      Being red, she loves him best; and being white绯红-因成了爱神的至爱;

      Her best is better'd with a more delight.     灰白-赏心事还另有所在!

她一直地苦诉衷怀,迷人地苦诉衷怀,

 因为她要对迷人的两耳,把心事表[白]。

但是他却老闹脾气,老皱头,老不耐,

 有时羞得脸通红,又有时气得脸灰[白]。

  脸红时她最爱,脸白时她就爱上更加爱,

  那比起她所最爱的来,更叫她笑逐颜开。 

                                                    14.

Look how he can, she nannot choose but love;        她哭闹,金童暂平静下来;

   And by her fair immortal hand she swears,          酥手从潮润的胸口挪开-

From his soft bosom never to remove,                爱神她起誓说不能不爱;

   Till he take truce with her contending tears,      且看阿童尼还有何能耐。

      Whict long have rain'd, making her cheeks all wet;雨打梨花,她的双颊湿濡;

      And one sweet kiss shall pay this countless debt. 甜甜一吻,欲偿情债无数。

不管他羞答答,怒冲冲,她看着都动情。

 她指着她那永远纤柔、白嫩的手作证,

说她决不离开他那柔软温暖的酥[胸],

 除非他被她的眼泪所驯服,言听计[从];

  因为她早就已经泪如雨倾,满脸上纵横。

  甜甜一吻,就能把本来没有完的债还清。 

                                           15.

Upon this promise did he raise his chin,  对此爱诺他抬起了下巴,

Like a divedapper peering through a wave, 似*凫水瞥一眼浪花,

Who, being looked on, ducks as quickly in:他往上看看,随即又潜下,

So offers he to give what she did crave,  -对爱神的渴望如是应答;

But when her lips were ready for his pay, 而当那芳唇作好了准备,

He winks, and turns his lips another way. 金童眨眨眼,嘴巴却移位。

 

译注:*(divedapper)-一种水禽科目之通称;体型似鸭而较小,栖息

于水草丛生之湖泊或沼泽湿地,极善潜游。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

他听她作了这样誓词,便把下颏仰起。        听得这条件,他果真抬起了头,

 但他正要把她所求的东西勉强赐[给],             她渴望尝到的,准备向她献奉;

却像鸊鹈在水里那样,稍一探头窥[伺],           却像从浪花里探头探脑的【海鸥】,

 看见有人了望,就又一下钻回了水底。               一瞧见人影,又陡地栽入水中-

  因此她虽把双唇噘起,准备他对她还礼,       当她的双唇要领受他的付偿,

  他却把嘴转到另一边,同时把眼睛一闭。             他眼睛一闭,唇儿已撇向一旁。

                                                    16.

Never did passenger in summer's heat                夏日暑气中往来的过客,

   More thirsty for drink than she for this good turn.没有谁比爱神还要焦渴。

Her help she sees, but help she cannot get;         知道该怎么,却无法获得;

   She bathes in water, yet her fire must burn:       沐浴清火,可激情得发热:

      "O, pity," 'gan she cry, "flint-hearted boy!   “可叹哟,”她喊,“倔气的男孩!

      'Tis but a kiss I beg-why art thou coy?          我但求一吻,何忸怩作态?

夏日炎炎中路上的人,即便渴得要晕,

 也从来没有像她那样,急于一润渴吻。

她只闻香却难到口,这心痒叫人怎忍。

 她泪水如浴似淋,却救不得心火如焚。

  “哎呀,”她喊道,“你这孩子心如铁石真好狠,

  我不过只求你一吻,又何必这样苦悭吝。 

                                                    17.

"I have been wooed, as I entreat thee now,         “我也被追求,如求你一般,

   Even by the stern and direful god of war,          即便是战神-可怕而威严,

Whose sinewy neck in battle ne'er did bow,          他壮硕的颈项宁折不弯,

   Who conquers where he comes in every jar;          其攻无不克而战车轰然;

      Yet hath he been my captive and my slave,         然而他是我俘虏与奴仆,

      And begged for that which thou unasked shalt have.他乞求的-本当你也提出。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                     【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

“我也曾有一度被追求得忙,像你这样。       “像现在我求你似的,人家求我赏光,

 追我的非别个,是战神,威凛冽,貌昂藏。           甚至连那一个煞星,凶恶的战神-

他在战场上,从未低过头,出名的强项。       他总是昂首挺胸,出现在战场,

 他到处战无不胜,从来就没打过败仗。               胜利跟着他,来到每一次战争-

  然而他却是我的俘虏,甘心作我的厮养。       也甘心做我的俘虏,向我乞求;

  他向我求过现在你能不求而获的欢畅。               而你,不用开口,就可以到手。

                                                18.

"Over my altars hath he hung his lance,        “他的长矛挂在我的圣坛,

   His batt'red shield, his uncontrolled crest,   头盔已变形,盾牌也稀烂;

And for my sake hath learned to sport and dance,他为我将竞技、舞蹈习谙,

   To toy, to wanton, dally, smile and jest,      学调情、嬉戏,练微笑、嘲讪;

      Scorning his churlish drum and ensign red,    野战鼓、赤军旗全抛一边,

      Making my arms his field his tent my bed.     战场、军营在我绣榻、臂弯。

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

“他那伤痕斑斑的盾,百战犹完的甲,       “在我的【祭】坛上,他把钢枪挂起,

 还有长矛,都曾在我的【祭】坛上闲挂,      还有那伤痕累累的盾,高傲的盔;

他为我,学会了蹁跹舞步,诸般戏耍,       为了讨好我,又去学舞蹈、竞技,

 他为我,学会了打情骂俏,斗口磨牙,              以及调情、放浪、温存、笑谈谐诙,

  耳里厌闻战鼓喧闹,眼里厌看旌旗飘飒;            鄙弃了粗野的战鼓、猩红的战旗,

  在我的绣榻上安营,在我的玉臂间厮杀。            把我的床帏当军营,玉臂做战地。

                                                   19.

"Thus he that overruled I overswayed,             “如此,我的威势将其压低,

   Leading him prisoner in a red-rose chain:         一串红玫瑰便把他圈起;

Strong-tempered steel his stronger strength obeyed,锻打的钢铁不敌其蛮力,

   Yet was he servile to my coy disdain.             而他屈从我作态的鄙夷。

      O, be not proud, nor brag not of thy might,      别傲啦,莫高估你的能量,

      For mast'ring her that foiled the god of fight! 战神也不过是手下败将!

“这样,以威势服人的还得服我的威[势]。

 一根红玫瑰链子,就拴得他匍匐在地。

多么硬的钢铁,在他手里都成了烂泥。

 然而我对他鄙夷,他却只有奴颜婢膝。

  你现在能使制伏了战神的我低声下气,

  请不必骄傲夸耀,回答我的爱才是正理。

                                                     20.

"Touch but my lips with those fair lips of thine,- “触碰我的嘴-用你的芳唇,

   Though mine be not so fair, yet are they red-      虽不及你的美,却也红润-

The kiss shall be thine own as well as mine.         这一亲便成全你我之吻。

   What seest thou in the ground? Hold up thy head:    你抬起头来-躺地上看甚?

      Look in mine eyeballs, there thy beauty lies;      瞧瞧,你的美-尽在我眼珠;

      Then why not lips on lips, since eyes in eyes?     口对口吧-既然四目相瞩?

“你只把你的香唇触到我的嘴唇上,

 (我的嘴唇也很红,虽然没有你的香),

那这个吻的甜蜜,咱们就能同受共享。

 抬起头来!地上有什么吸引你的眼光?

  往我瞳人里望,那儿有你的倩影深深藏。

  眼和眼既然成对,唇和唇为何不能成双?

                                               21.

"Art thou ashamed to kiss? Then wink again,   “羞于接吻么?-就睁眼闭眼,

   And I will wink; so shall the day seem night; 我也眼开眼闭;晨昏难辨;

Love keeps his revels where they are but twain;出双入对才是爱的欢宴;

   Be bold to play, our sport is not in sight:   勇敢地来吧,没人会撞见:

      These blue-veined violets whereon we lean    你我在紫罗兰后面依偎-

      Never can blab, nor know not what we mean.   天知地知,谁知咱俩意味!

“你接吻不惯?那你就闭上眼,不要看。

 我也闭上眼。这样,白天就仿佛夜晚。

只要有一女一男,‘爱’就能取乐追欢。

 你要放胆,咱们尽管畅玩,没人看见。

  咱们身下这紫络的二月蓝,决不会多言,

  它们也不懂得,咱们为什么要如此这般。 

                                                   22.

"The tender spring upon thy tempting lip        “微妙的青春,诱人的小嘴-

   Shows thee unripe; yet mayst thou well be tasted: 虽显你青涩,却足堪品味;

Make use of time, let not advantage slip;          善用光阴,莫让靓点消退;

   Beauty within itself should not be wasted:        内在之美,不应自我浪费:

      Fair flowers that are not gath'red in their prime当娇花初开,若不去采摘-

      Rot and consume themselves in little time.       会自行衰败,枯萎得很快!

【附1】:已故张谷若教授译本-                    【附2】:已故方平教授译本-

“你迷人的嘴上黄毛嫩,说你还是童孩。            “你诱人的唇上,柔嫩的春意显示

 但你却早就有秀色可餐,有英华堪采。              你还没成熟,已是很可以尝味;

行乐须及时,莫疑猜,机会错过不复来。            别错过了良机,享受要趁现时;

 丽质应该传代,及身而止,只暴殄美材。          美,岂能听任它消耗在自身内?

  好花盛开,就该尽先摘,慎莫待美景难再,          好花儿要不是赶着良辰里采,

  否则一瞬间,它就要雕零萎谢,落在尘埃。          眼看那落花就在泥土里埋。

 

Venus一般约定俗成以为“维纳斯”,Adonis一般译为“阿多尼”比较多。请问是否要修改。

-Venus可从定译。至于此位Adonis,方平老译作“阿董尼”,也有译作“阿多尼斯”的;-还是不改吧。

第二节,

“Nature that made thee, with herself at strife,  

造化神塑你时激情难耐,”改为“造化神塑你时心潮澎湃,”

-同意。

第三节,

“If thou wilt deign this favour, for thy meed

你若从我,我会给你赏答,”改为“你若俯允,我会给你赏答,”

-作“你若【允从】,”吧。(因Venus是爱神,而Adonis仅是一少不更事的山野男孩。)

“And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses.

就这样,我要-吻得你喘息!”改为“就这样,我要-吻得你窒息!”

-同意。

第五节,

“Courageously to pluck him from his horse.  

“把骑马的金童大胆扯拉。”改为“把骑马的金童拽下骏马。”

-仅一个“拽”字对Courageously to来说似份量不够,“马”字也嫌重复。

或宜作【猛一把将金童拽下骏马。】

第六节,

“Under her other was the tender boy,  

另一支夹着娇童的秀腿;”改为“另一支夹着娇童的身体;”

-“体”字失韵;宜作“另一支夹着娇童的【腰背】;”

“Who blushed and pouted in a dull disdain,

傻男孩脸赤涨,鄙视,撅嘴,”改为“男孩脸色赤涨,鄙视,撅嘴,”

-“傻”字前置系为等值拆译dull;不改。

“With leaden appetite, unapt to toy;   

笨笨地-玩不来,索然无味;”改为“不愿配合,兴致索然;”

-换作【木讷呆笨,索然了无情味;】

第九节,

“Doth quench the maiden burning of his cheeks;  

“女郎强忍对人面的情焰;”改为“泪水将他脸颊的炽热[猝]灭;”

-换作【欲浇熄少年桃腮之初燃;】

“To fan and blow them dry again she seeks.   

再次寻觅着追求的机缘。”改为“欲用秀发拭擦他脸上的泪花。”

换作:

Then with her windy sighs and golden hairs     

她【长叹连连,甩动金发卷-】

   To fan and blow them dry again she seeks:     

 【试图将金童的双颊吹干。】 

第12节,

“Rain added to a river that is rank     

长满草的河道雨水盈溢-”改为“丰饶的河流再逢雨水,”

-不改。(rank,a.多杂草的;“[丰饶]的河流”-于修辞及情境皆讲不通。)

“Perforce will force it overflow the bank. 

将迫不得已而漫过岸堤。”改为“河水必定盈溢岸堤。”

-“【势将形成泛滥,】漫过岸堤。”

第15节,

“Like a divedapper peering through a wave,

似凫水-瞥一眼浪花,”改为“似凫水,透过波涛凝视,”

-不改。(“透过波涛凝[视],”-出韵。)

第17节,

“And begged for that which thou unasked shalt have.

他乞求的-本当你也提出。”改为“他乞求的——而你却未主动提出。”

-字数超限,不改。(原文并无“主动”,shalt也未译出。)

第18节,

改成【战场、军营在我绣榻、臂弯。】

第22节,

“Rot and consume themselves in little time.       

会自行衰败,枯萎得很快!”改为“会自行衰败,顷刻便枯萎!”

-不改。(“萎”字落韵。)

又:上一行前半句改成【当娇花初开】,

                                                                                                             

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     


 

0

阅读 评论 收藏 转载 喜欢 打印举报/Report
  • 评论加载中,请稍候...
发评论

    发评论

    以上网友发言只代表其个人观点,不代表新浪网的观点或立场。

      

    新浪BLOG意见反馈留言板 电话:4000520066 提示音后按1键(按当地市话标准计费) 欢迎批评指正

    新浪简介 | About Sina | 广告服务 | 联系我们 | 招聘信息 | 网站律师 | SINA English | 会员注册 | 产品答疑

    新浪公司 版权所有